Dont Seek Success; Seek Self-Actualization

"You make a living by what you get.
You make a life by what you give."

So said Winston Churchill. Cooperation and giving is better for you than competition and taking.

Competitors do not see it this way. To them, making money is an overriding goal so they and their families can live in "style." In the name of money they run in the rat race. When they win and become CEO rats, they wonder why they are depressed and unhappy with their lives.

The reason is simple. They do not have a larger purpose. There is no meaning in the work they do. They are not being helpful to people. They are not givers, but takers. They are not cooperators but competitors.

Cooperators have a vision to serve other people. If they help others by doing what they love to do they eventually reach self-actualization.

Self-actualization is the highest need in Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs:

  • PHYSIOLOGICAL - Basic living needs, such as food, water, oxygen and sex

  • SAFETY - Once physiological needs are satisfied, you need to have a home and other forms of security

  • BELONGING - So far you have taken care of yourself. Once you do this, you look to make friends, find someone to love and in general feel part of a community

  • SELF-ESTEEM - You need self-confidence, to be appreciated for what you are and be treated with dignity

  • SELF-ACTUALIZATION - This is the highest level. Once your basic needs are supplied, you seek ways to reach your highest potential

Maslow also said:

"Ours is a money and power society, and so long as it is, it is thereby insecure."

Yet most people chase money so they may be called a success. Success, what would you do to achieve it? What would you give up in order to win? Would you do what you hate in order to make millions of dollars? Would you slavishly follow rules laid down by others in order to ingratiate yourself with them and thereby get "promoted"?

Do you want to live in the fast lane? According to John Jensen there is one thing wrong about it:

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry."

Competing wildly to make piles of money so that you would be recognized as a success, while all your personal relationships fall apart, seems to be the goal of many. Does it make sense?

You can achieve the real thing, self-actualization, by seeking ways to help other people in your area of expertise while pursuing what you love to do. Pursuing what you love to do beats competing for success. Instead of working hard, you do not work at all. Doing what you enjoy can not be called work. Instead of sacrificing your body, mind and spirit in the interest of making a buck, you do as you wish. Mark Albion thinks it is a shame to sacrifice this way. He says:

"Do what you love. Whether or not money follows is not vital. What's vital is that you won't be wasting your life."

Instead of being rewarded by others, reward yourself. The great dancer, Baryshnikov, got it right when he said:

"I do not try to dance better than anyone else.
I only try to dance better than myself."

Instead of traveling in the fast lane, travel in your own private lane.

Self-actualization brings people contentment and happiness. Self-actualization comes easily to cooperators and with difficulty to competitors.

Cooperators may affect not only their own lives and the lives of their family members, they have an impact on the world. Yes, they do. Most of us are skeptical about this because we feel helpless compared to the great leaders and shakers of the world. But Margaret Mead cheers us on:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has."

Be a cooperator. Do what you love. Serve others. Reach self-actualization. Make life better for you as well as for the world.

About The Author

Paul Siegel is the author of "WE DON'T AGREE, BUT... How to Live in an Age of Terrorism," from which the above article is adapted. The book may be obtained from Amazon.com for $17.95. The article may be used freely, provided the author and the book source are acknowledged. The author is also called Paul "the soaring" Siegel because of his performance on the platform.

More Resources

God Doesnt Say No...YOU Do!
There are a couple of things you've probably heard said overand over. The first is, "Why doesn't God answer myprayers?".
The Revolution Begins When YOU take Control
I'd like to share a story with you about two interesting people that we ALL know.Ms.
Five Ways to Sharpen Your Sense of Humor and Improve Your Relationships
Humor has long been considered one of the most effective tools to judge the quality of any relationship. If there is laughter present you can be sure the relationship is a healthy one.
Abundance is a Feeling
This question and answer interview was done by Kathy Smith, one of Michael's loyal Virtual Assistants. Visit her website.
The Three Pillars of Life
We all have the power to change our lives. What differentiates between those who take the action to change and those who just sit on the sidelines are three basic human endowments.
Create Your Own Luck
I find it particularly disheartening when I hear someone refer to a person's success and achievements as simply luck. Or even worse.
How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence
If you think success, happiness and love are going to happenwithout learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken.Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well asthose of others.
Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz
How well do you understand how gut instincts - yours and others - influence likeability, decision making and even attention span? Want to find out? Here are nine questions. Some answers may surprise you.
The Fastest Way To Manifest Your Desires
Is there a way to change your life condition, and manifestyour desires at the fastest possible speed?YES! Definitely! There is a secret that can make youmanifest your desires in the fastest possible wayyou can imagine. I am going to share with you thissecrets now.
Who is Directing You?
Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During a lecture he was presenting on a mystic's role in society, he uttered the words "inner warrior," while looking directly at me.
What Characters Teach Us about Character
Character is that which defines us; it's what people will remember about us long after we're gone. The TV News, Radio Talk Shows, News-Magazines and the daily Paper are replete with stories about characters.
Attitude Is Everything
The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential.
Limiting Perceptions and Broadening Horizons
If you live in modern society I'm sure at some point in your life you've sat in a window seat of an airplane looking down at the fluffy blanket of clouds and thought to yourself, 'Wow, it's so big and flat, fluffy and soft, I wonder what it would feel like to lay down on that super-soft mattress.' Well, think about what Socrates, Lao Tsu, Confucius, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Moses or Mohammed would have thought if they saw the same sight that we pretty much take for granted as 'normality'.
Grab Their Attention
In the movie, "The Player" during a scene at a Hollywood studio executive meeting Mr. Levy shows Reeve, the central character, how to pitch a potential movie story.
Who Do You Want to Meet?
One of the goals that I encourage my clients to work on is to create a list of people they wish to meet.What kind of people?People who inspire them! (a religious leader)People who they admire! (a person who gives with all their heart!)People who they would love to interview! (a newsmaker)People whose books they've read! (who is YOUR favorite author?)People who they'd love to cook dinner for! (a famous chef maybe?)When I heard about this technique I wasn't really sure I believed it, but I thought it couldn't hurt to try - so I made my list.
How Do You Choose To Deal With Your Life?
"It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny." --Jean NidetchIt is not what happens to us in our lives that is important, but how we choose to deal with it.
The Big Key to Freedom
When our clients are exposed to our company, they are often impressed with how we really stress the concept of Freedom - and well they should be. Our central core value is Freedom, our web address is deliverfreedom.
How To Master The Art of Conversation
The art of conversation is a skill shared by most successful people. Good conversation promotes an image of self-confidence, intelligence, and wittiness.
Social Skills Training Can Positively Impact Your Life
Millions of people become anxious and insecure when speaking in public, starting a conversation, or mingling with others in a social setting.There are a large number of individuals who are extremely successful in their professional lives, but tend to shy away from meeting new people, attending social functions, and interpersonal communication.
The Winning Combo!
What do we all strive for in life? Success! Success is the ultimate destination. Every one of us has the good intentions and capacity to achieve something but we lack the follow-through.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

The Modern Geek - Changing the Stereotype
The day of duck-taped glasses, suspenders and pocket-protectors are quickly fading away. It's getting harder to pick the geeks out of the crowd.
Correcting a Gap Between the Teeth
As we age and our teeth shift, a gap between the teeth may suddenly appear. If you have a tooth extracted which is not immediately replaced with an implant or bridge, your entire bite may shift dramatically.
Would You Rather Be Wealthy?
Would you rather be wealthy or poverty-stricken? Not a difficult question to answer, is it? How do you think your thoughts impact on your financial state?Just as the earth contains in its depths great riches--oil, diamonds, gold, uranium, silver, gas and countless other things--you also have the real riches of life deep within you. Your innate intelligence and your willingness to use your mind are precious.
A New Beginning With The People At Work
There's a big opportunity here! The holidays bring a change in spirit in most folks. Even though they may be more tired than usual from all the demands of the season, they are filled with holiday cheer.
How to Attract Wealth
Have you been struggling with making ends meet? Are you tiredof not having enough? Then I am sure you will benefit enormouslyby reading on..
Who Do You Think You Are?
Are you totally in love with your life?Whatever your current situation I want to give you some food for thought?Your current level of love, passion and intensity for your everyday life is directly proportionate to how close you currently live to the purpose for which you came to this life.Take an office worker.
Mental, Emotional and Physical Prosperity
To create true, lasting prosperity, almost any guru can tell you that you must align your physical, mental and emotional states and actions. This all sounds very logical, but when it comes right down to it, most of us are not quite certain how to proceed.
Closing the Feedback Loop
In earlier articles, I've often spoken about the supreme importanceof becoming a good listener. I've even gone as far as to suggestthat listening might be the most important communication skill of them all.
Clarity of Vision
Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered in Vaseline - or try walking around for a day with prescription glasses that aren't your own. You might find it very difficult to function and get where you'd like to go - even when your ability to think is perfect.
The Cliché of Balance
The world we are living in is changing at a fast pace. Never before in the history of mankind that change was so enormous and rapid.
I'll Believe It When I See It
I was working with this guy who wanted to live his life's purpose. He wanted to be a singer but was presently working as a mail clerk at a law firm.
Who are You Listening To?
Have you ever noticed that there is no shortage of people willing to give you advice, whether or not you asked for it? I've developed some simple rules about from whom I will accept advice and suggestions. I do not ask for heath advice from people who are sick, I do not ask for financial advice from people who are broke and I do not ask for business advice from people who are not in their own business.
To Live Or To Live With Purpose: That's The Ultimate Question
Each person has her or his own place and purpose. We all possess unique talents and unique ways of expressing them.
14 Relationship Principles to Live A Successful Relationship
Each relationship combines two individual stories to coauthor a new relationship story. The implicit contracts authored by each party in a relationship become unspoken assumptions that can facilitate or derail the relationship.
What Does the World Owe You?
Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into society, yet we are unable to make withdrawals. Whenever I have felt that way in the past, I read essays like Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay Compensation, which I made into a free downloadable copy and distributed last week in the special success issue of my ezine.
A Mini LOA T-ToolTM
The Law of Attraction T-ToolTM is the single most useful tool for gaining clarity. This week I discovered the power of a Mini LOA T-ToolTM.
Successful Living: 9 Universal Laws
1. The Law of BalanceI got an email from a wise friend the other day who had this to say,"Whenever I am out of balance in one area of my life, I usually end up binging, (going to excess) in some other area of my life.
Vacation Longing: What You Can Learn From It
Every person's life journey is unique. Figuring out what you need along the way can be an adventure in itself.
Achieving Your Highest Potential: The Journey Begins With Self Awareness
We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and negative paradigms. We all grew up with defined set of family and cultural values; where we were raised to believe that what our parents and relatives said about us and our capabilities was "truth".
Thought and The Law of Attraction
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.