What People Are Really Interested In & How to Win Friends

A lot of your people problems and concerns about what other people think will fade into the background when you understand one crucial reality.

Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you.

I know this sounds harsh. Bear with me a moment while I explain.

Apart from your family and closest friends most other people see you as either a hindrance or as a means to getting what they want.

If you can help them get what they want they will smile at you, say you are wonderful and do whatever they can to keep you happy and available in the future.

On the other hand if you stop being a means to the fulfillment of their needs these very same people may well shun you, insult you and have nothing to do with you.

Let me give you an example. You meet someone special and you date. Things progress and a few weeks later you are both in love and life has never been better. You are the center of the universe for that person and whatever you desire is immediately granted with a smile.

Fast forward three months and the same person is screaming down the phone at you, saying how useless you are and never to call again! What happened? How could something so good go so wrong?

In very simple terms you went from satisfying the other persons emotional needs to not satisfying them. And the extreme change in how they treat you is because of what I said at the beginning of this article:

Most people are interested in you only to the extent they can get something from you.

Whereas in the early days of the relationship you attended to all of the other persons needs as time passed you grew complacent and things slipped to the point that key needs went unsatisfied.

At one point you were the answer to this persons prayers but now you serve no purpose in this persons life hence the anger and annoyance.

How can you use this insight?

1. Be alert to the unspoken demands the people in you life place on you. And understand that your relationships depend on the meeting of these underlying needs.

2. If you want to be free of a relationship that is limiting you then stop offering the demanded input whether that be advice, time, acceptance or any other resource or support.

Be ready for fireworks though since your input will often be taken for granted until you withdraw it.

3. Realize that when you feel self conscious there is no need to be since most people are preoccupied being self conscious themselves!

And as far as they are concerned you are a means to an end. If John Friend phones you to go to the cinema it is so he will enjoy your company and to avoid looking silly going there alone.

Of course the same applies to you and I. And it is the mutual filling of needs that underpins interactions, friendships and business relationships.

To sum up. We all want something from each other usually we are looking to fill emotional needs and this is the way the world is. Once you accept this you can use this understanding to look for what people want from you and then meet their needs.

If you do this effectively you will never be short of friends and people keen to spend time with you.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

peter1510@hotmail.com

More Resources

Doing Your Lifes Work
Most people want to do their life's work. Some people are able to separate work completely from life and be happy doing anything, but this is not the norm.
9 Exercises to Enhance Your Self-Expertise
Personal Self-Expertise is an invaluable tool that transforms the way you communicate in your business and personal lives. It functions as a front porch for two reasons: 1) It equips you with the confidence of knowing exactly who you are; and 2) It magnetizes others to you because they admire and respect those who know exactly who they are.
Dont Be Afraid to Let Other People See Who You Really Are!
Do you know anybody that you consider to be particularly engaging and lively? Take a moment to picture that person in your mind. What is it about that person that you find most attractive? He or she may have a charming voice and a great laugh, but it is also very likely that you find their face very expressive.
Be Your Own Best Friend
What does being a "best friend" mean to you? I imagine that just about everyone is or has been a best friend to someone in their lives. I encourage you to take some time and examine what being someone's best friend really means.
Birthing Your Dream
Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure about the process, wondering if you are stepping out too far this time? Will God bless your dream, or is it His dream you're nurturing? Consider a pregnant woman. We've all had opportunity to observe the process, if not actually experience it.
Digging To The Root Of Your Problem
Most people have some aspects of themselves that they would like to change. But how often do you dig deeply to find the root of the problem?You have to address the issues that need to be changed.
How To Bypass Your Conscious Mind and Program Yourself For Success
Emile Coué, the French psychotherapist once said: "When theimagination and will power are in conflict, are antagonistic, itis always the imagination which wins, without any exception."Then you can program yourself for success by understanding thepower of imagination.
7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
Affirmations Based on Rich Dad, Poor Dad
I'm sure most of you have heard of, and perhaps read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it along with his book "Cashflow Quadrant.
Secrets Of Energy
Lotus dakini gathers energy.When wanting and grasping hold swayThe dakini has you in her power.
You Cant Direct the Wind but You Can Adjust the Sails
Dear Friend,First of all, let's take a look at the meaning of the word "metamorphosis" and how it can possibly be of interest to IT Service Management. Metamorphosis: Noun (plural metamorphoses - say metuh´mawfuhseez) ? "the change of form, structure, or substance, as transformation; the structural or functional modification of a plant organ or structure during its development.
Simple Truths for Change, Healing, and a Magnificent Life!
Many people on the planet are realizing that the key to a healthier, happier and life of abundance can be distilled into simple truths. We live in a complex and cluttered world.
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single".
How to Be Irresistible to Women
You don't need a guitar, rock-hard abs, or even a full head of hair to make a great impression on a woman. Follow these tips, and she'll want to hear from you again real soon:1.
The Wealth-Receiving Mindset
Here is an exercise for you that will develop what I call the wealth-receiving mindset:I want you to think about the time in your life when you had the most money you have ever had.I don't care if the most money you've ever had was ten bucks, I want you to think about it right now.
Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win
Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were attracted? It makes the heart bump, doesn't it?Have you ever stood on stage in front of a sea of faces that you know well and pulled out your notes to make a speech? Boy does the vibration of shaking liven you up!Have you ever felt the breeze on your face, either during a hot-air balloon ride or by sticking your head through the car sunroof? It wakes your senses up, doesn't it?And on a scale of 1-10 how much does your heart bump, body shake and senses wake when you do your day job? I bet you can practically do the tasks with your eyes shut. In fact I bet there are days when you feel like you did have your eyes shut?Most people don't feel awakened by their day jobs.
Be Not Afraid of Greatness
Have you noticed how the workplace seems to be a little more stressful if not downright hostile, how each day you feel a little more reluctant to get out of bed to go to a job you don't really like. Have you noticed how the workday seems a little longer and the job a little less fulfilling.
Thought and The Law of Attraction
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.
Heal Thyself First
As I connect with more and more women I am seeing that many have a desperate need for a man. I had one woman tell me that her ex-boyfriend put a gun to her head and told her to get out of his life.
It Doesnt Take Long To Become An Expert in The Law of Attraction
One of our Faculty, Christine Edick, has been the keynote speaker for several conferences for people in the 'career transition' industry. She received this short story, from one of the attendees, which demonstrates how easy it is to understand the Law of Attraction and to teach it to others.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

So You Want To Win the Lottery
If we all got everything we wanted, most of us would have won the lottery by now. So what happens when we notice that we aren't getting what we want, even when we've been using Law of Attraction to manifest a particular desire for an extended period of time?Wanting to win the lottery is a clear desire, therefore, you need to use Law of Attraction deliberately.
How To Step Into The Flow Of Abundance
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
Attitude Is Everything
The process of human change begins within us. We all have tremendous potential.
Four Steps to Attracting More Good Luck
The Luck Factor rips apart the notion that luck is something that just happens. Dr.
Self Improvement and Self Growth
Nowadays the terms self-improvement, self-growth and self-help have become popular. We find many books about these subjects and many websites too.
Are You a Wildflower?
Wildflowers grow from mere dust to reach their full potential.Wildflowers grow well, even in adverse soil conditions.
On Uniqueness
Is being special or unique a property of an object (let us say, a human being), independent of the existence or the actions of observers - or is this a product of a common judgement of a group of people?In the first case - every human being is "special", "one of a kind, sui generis, unique". This property of being unique is context-independent, a Ding am Sich.
Attracting Opportunity -- 10 Tips
You get what you attract - with your thoughts, words, beliefs, actions and inactions. Here are 10 tips for attracting opportunity:? Decide what you want, what you must do to get it, and then map out a plan to do what you must.
How To Know You Are Living Your Dream
How To Prove To Yourself That You Are Going After Your Big Dream.I have a personal story to share with you that happened not that long ago.
What Does the World Owe You?
Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into society, yet we are unable to make withdrawals. Whenever I have felt that way in the past, I read essays like Ralph Waldo Emerson's essay Compensation, which I made into a free downloadable copy and distributed last week in the special success issue of my ezine.
Faith Creates Ideas That Create Wealth
For years it seems as though the secrets to obtaining wealth were only for a selected few. Yet the truth of the matter is that these "few" have chosen to apply the principles of prosperity (at least most of the principles) in order to obtain their status, while many chose to ignore them.
I Believe In Man
I have a deep and abiding belief that there lies within every person the capacity for greatness. I don't mean the old adage that you can become anything you want to be -- I'm more receptive to Peter F.
How to Play to Your Strengths
Are you clear on your unique qualities, talents and personal strengths? And what's more do you centre your life around these gifts?You're busy, trying to be a good worker, colleague, partner, parent, friend and neighbour; you've been brought up with parents and peers ideals, educated well, maybe have a religious background, and perhaps a little of your past behaviour might been influenced by something you saw on TV or in a movie.In fact, maybe? just maybe? and you're not alone here? some of your thinking and behaviour belongs to what others have told you to think or feel in any given situation.
Law of Attraction Article: How to STOP Being a Person Nothing Works For
Do you ever wonder why great things happen to some people but not to you?Do you ever read about people who have tried this or that product and had some incredible result, but when you try it, you don't get the same result?Have you become a person who NOTHING seems to work for?Maybe you've thought about trying the some new self- improvement package that sounds great, but you're just so tired of things not working for you.Let's take a look at how you've gotten where you are and why these things might happen.
Ego or Higher Self: Whos Behind Your Decisions?
When you make a decision, you hope it is ultimately one that supports your highest interests and that leads you toward greater joy, so it is important to consider what part of you is offering you your options, so you can make your choice based on sound advice and come to a conclusion that takes you in the direction you want to go! There are two primary sources of input in any such decision-making process: your "Higher Self" and your ego.Your Higher Self operates from the place of all knowing, because it is perfectly interfaced with Source, the font of wisdom and repository of all knowledge.
What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?
In my private practice for the past 15 years I have discoveredhow hungry we are to find deep fulfillment and loving, make wisechoices for ourselves and the planet, and walk in union with ourhigher guidance.Yet our days are filled with endless, empty lists of have-tos,shoulds, and must-dos.
The Law of Attraction and Love
The Law of Attraction says that 'like attracts like'. It means that whatever your predominate thoughts are will show up as people and experiences in your life.
Relationships - 9 Never-Changing Rules
In a relationship, your ability to understand and respond to the other person's needs and desires are fundamental. Understanding the nature of relationships themselves may be as important to your success in love as understanding the person with whom you're having the relationship.
Principles for Total Prosperity In Business And Beyond
Are you looking for that "something" to give you the winning edge in your business? Is success still elusive even after burning both ends of the candle? Well, you may be looking for success in al the wrong places or you may not have an accurate picture of what true success is.In a fast-paced society that's driven by a mentality of "more is better," extreme stress and lack of fulfillment are inevitable in every facet of our lives, including work.
Follow Your Passion
The key to a successful life lies in following your passions. When you do this the Universe responds in a dynamic way.