Coaching is Asking the Right Questions

Have you ever known anyone who asked themselves "Why me?" over and over every time something happened they didn't like? Or how about, "What did I do to deserve this?" And my favorite, "Whose fault was that?" Perhaps, these questions have popped into your head once or twice before.

When we ask ourselves questions, our brain hunts for the answer. Having your brain search for the answers to bad questions gives you bad answers. You'll get answers like "I'm just unlucky", or "It's unfair" or "It's my boss's fault".

These kinds of questions keep us in the past and keep the focus on things we can't change. So how do we move forward? What if you asked questions like;

What can I learn from this?

Most difficulties provide something we can learn about ourselves, about life, and about what to do next time. Would you prefer to blame yourself or others, or look for the insight?

In what way is the current situation absolutely perfect?

Even if you think it is a total mess, see if you can find something that is already good or something to be grateful for. Gratitudes are a powerful tool you can use to turn many uncomfortable situations around.

How could I turn this around immediately, and enjoy the process?

This is where you can set an intention and ask yourself what you are committed to. What do you want to do about this problem or situation? And how can you make it fun?

What is the value of my current attitude?

Is your attitude making things easier or harder for you? Are you looking for the opportunity or complaining? How has that attitude been working for you?

What a difference the right questions make! This week listen to the questions you are asking yourself. Are they moving you forward or keeping you stuck? Replace your unproductive questions with the ones that support you. And if you need further help, call a coach!

Deb Melton, Certified Fearless Living Coach and Singles Coach, author, speaker and teleclass leader based in Denver, CO. To learn more about Deb's programs and classes or to sign up for her FREE weekly column delivered to your email box visit http://www.denversinglescoach.com/ezine_signup.php

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk
The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops many of us from contributing more to discussions at work and when we are relaxing with friends.And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we get and the more likely we are to say something stupid.
4 Brilliant Tips to Speed Read Faster than Ever
Many people, particularly students, would love to beable to absorb information faster. But before retaininginformation, they have to go through the first stage oflearning, which is reading.
Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For
Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort out your complicated existence? The coach is a growing occupational choice for folks who feel the call to lead others who may feel overwhelmed or wish for personal fulfillment but don't know where to begin.As someone who belongs to entrepreneur networks, I've come across quite a few life coaches.
Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?
Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.
Coaching May Be For You
Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable to achieving your goals? Career coaching and mentoring may be what you need to accomplish what you really want in your career. Your friends and family certainly love you and want the best for you, but they can't always make the time to devote the necessary hours you may need to achieve your objectives and goals.
Who Do You Talk To?
Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business.
We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be
The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely encounter: I recently had lunch with a new friend named Rick Rockwell. You may remember him as the bachelor from the first-ever reality TV show, "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?"During our meeting, Rick described some of the knowledge he gained from doing the show, along with a few of past his experiences in business, ethics, and of course, primetime romance.
Im Gonna Die MY Way
My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies. You see, there are movies I can watch again and again, which she couldn't sit through once.
Training is Not the Same Thing as Exercising
What it takes to GROW!In almost every workshop we deliver, we try to teach the principle that the mind is a muscle. What does this mean? Well, your mind and really your whole life operate on the same growth and strengthening principles as any muscle in your body, and almost everyone misunderstands what it takes to make a muscle grow.
The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To
I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home.
Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.
How To Gain Control Of Your Life
"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan Swift, "is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former."The awareness to see one's own follies, prejudices, and false opinions is in fact essential to overcome one's psychocultural programming.
Good Communication is Easy - Isn't It?
My name is Steve Brummet and my business is to speak to businesses, teams, schools, churches, non profit organizations and just people about improving their communication skills. Most communication experts agree that good communication starts with understanding.
Going Beyond Life Coaching
In Corrogue the air is chill and the frost is on the ground.On these autumn mornings the spider's webs are glistening like each was arrayed with diamonds.
What The Buddha Says About Coaches
There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.
How to Optimize the Awesome Power of Thoughts and Imagination
Have you encountered a time when you were in a traffic jam and was running late for an important meeting? Did you stay calmand focused? Or did your mind wander into the dark side ofthe impending consequences that may occur?If you're always picturing people getting mad at you and thinking of negative outcomes, then your body suffers as well. You may experience chest pains, anxiety disorders, indigestion, and other health problems.
Coaching Book Review: The Coach: Creating Partnerships for a Competitive Edge
Leaders today have many challenges when it comes to guiding and influencing the performance of their team members. In the past, productivity and success depended on sheer muscle and sweat.
4 Steps to Successful Goal-Setting
Successful people have always had clear, focused goals that guide them to greatness.It took Thomas Edison thousands of attempts and thousands of failures over many years to invent the electric light bulb, but he new exactly what he wanted, and his goal kept him going until he achieved it The rest, as they say, is history.
The Benefits of Coaching
When I was first introduced to the profession of personal coaching, my first initial thought was that it sounded exactly like something I would love to pursue. I did further investigation into the profession and before I knew it I was happily enrolled in the Coach Training Program offered through Coach U University in Colorado, USA.
Finding Peace: A Taste of Mindfulness
When we are ill and don't know it, we are in a state of ignorance or delusion. We don't view ourselves as sick, so we don't believe it's necessary to go to a doctor or take any medication.