Searching For Your Calling - Quest or Curse?

Judging by the extraordinarily positive reader response to Po Bronson's What Should I Do With My Life?, people are aching for a sympathetic outlook on their stories of career dissatisfaction. They tend to be their own harshest critics, often riddled with self-doubt and embarrassment about not getting this "career thing" right. Maintaining a constructive attitude is challenging. In spite of contrary statistics - such as, the average American changes jobs eight times over the course of his/her lifetime - we still tend to harbor the expectation that we "should" decide by our late 20's/early 30's what we want to do and follow that thread for the remainder of our working lives. As T. puts it, "My search for work I'm passionate about is regarded by my friends like a child's drawing that's put up on the refrigerator?isn't that cute!"

If you're in a career transition, what's the finger-pointing you're doing at yourself? Does any of these sound familiar?

  • If it doesn't look good on my resume, it doesn't count

  • Maybe I should stop worrying about my calling and get a job

  • I've never been happy in a job?I need to look elsewhere for fulfillment

  • I have responsibilities. I can't afford to look for work I love

  • What if I find my dream job and I'm still dissatisfied?

  • How will I explain to people??

If this were taking place in a courtroom instead of inside your head, your attorney would undoubtedly argue for extenuating circumstances. Ask yourself the following:

What did you learn in your formal education about making a good career choice?

When were you encouraged to match your abilities, values, and personality to career options, and shown how?

Would you ever consider marrying someone you hadn't dated first?

Are you ever told that what you're qualified to do something that earns a decent wage is not sufficient reason to keep doing it?

Do you know where you can get reinforcement for continuing to search for work you're passionate about?

Did you have models for matching changes in work with changes in life stage?

Did you know that having an identity crisis or upheaval every 10 years is considered normal and healthy, and identity is largely shaped by love and work?

Case rests. Support systems for people in career transition are lagging woefully behind the sea changes that are occurring in the way we do work. But you are ultimately responsible for your attitude. Every day, the single most important decision you make is your outlook toward your search. Here are some suggestions for maintaining positive momentum:

Don't be afraid to make a temporary job move, to buy time and diminish the financial pressure. You can use it to check out some components of your eventual choice.

Consider the territory between your ears - worry, self-criticism, confusion - a bad neighborhood. Don't hang out there alone. Talk with someone, a friend or a professional, who is more objective about you and your abilities than you are.

Don't shortchange your intuition. Trying to figure this out may not be the best way. Let some insights/hunches/visions come to you.

You're learning career development skills here. This will probably not be your final change.

Check out the Po Bronson's chatroom:http://groups.yahoo.com/group/life_goals. Your sense of being alone in your angst will dissolve.

And finally, here's a perspective I'd like to offer. Engaging courageously and wholeheartedly with the question "What should I do?" is the single most pro-active step you can take. After interviewing 900 people, Po concluded that the biggest obstacle to answering the question is guilt about taking it seriously. Work, when it's right, is how we forge our place in the world; the process of finding it clarifies and hones who we are and who we want to be. Asking the hard questions (What do I want? What impact do I want to have? Who do I want to become?) and giving time to the inner and outer research, is surely one of the most important life investments you can make.

About The Author

Nina Ham, certified coach and licensed psychotherapist, is principal of Success from the Inside Out, providing individual coaching and teleseminars to build the skills, attitudes and habits for sustainable success in your career or business. Mail to: Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com, subscribe in subject line, for free monthly e-zine, or visit http://www.SuccessfromtheInsideOut.com.

Nina@womenssuccesscoach.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

An Easy Way to End The Year
As a healthy business owner or independent professional, how do you end your year? Well, I tell my clients to stop working. That's right, stop working.
Nothing is left to Chance
You are going to meet a very important client for lunch. What do you do? If you are anything like Anna the first job is to ensure the outside you is perfect, well dressed, matching clothes, clean shoes, washed in your favourite soaps, perfume.
Developing Will Power and Self Discipline
Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won great success by manifesting will power and self discipline. They admire people, who with sheer will power, self discipline and ambition, have improved their life, learned new skills, overcame difficulties and hardships, reduced their weight, rose high in their chosen field or advanced on the spiritual path.
Managing Your Perfectionism
What Is Perfectionism?This is the first of two newsletters that address perfectionism. In this issue, we will explore what perfectionism is and why it is destructive.
6 Practices for Achieving Excellent Self-Care
Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) often feel like they are running behind schedule, and just don't have the time get everything done. As a result, many ADDers end up sacrificing their own self-care in order to scratch off items on their to-do lists.
Pecked to Death By Ducks
Ever been in a situation where it seems like minor criticisms are all you hear? Sure, there are things you could improve, you know that . .
Invest Your Inner Wealth
It started out like any other Wednesday - reports to type, telephones to answer, books to balance. When the clock finally struck 4:30 p.
How Can Sceptics Get the Proof They Need
Are you one of those folks that needs to figure-it-out all the time? Are you one of those Law of Attraction students who catches yourself saying things like, "I wonder how this is going to come to me?" or, "What do I need to figure out so I know what to do next (to manifest what I desire)?" Attention Law of Attraction Students!Stop trying to figure out where/how/when your manifestation is going to come! It's not your job!Here's a great tool that will help all of you 'figure-it-outers' reduce your need to figure it out. Those of you who are thinkers need to see it or know it before you can fully accept that The Law of Attraction exists and is working in your life.
Its Not What You Think
My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving in order to contact a fresh and subtle perceiving "under the surface" of what is going on. That deeper sense of perceiving allows the emergence of what I call the Engaging Leader, or the genuine expression of myself and the collective.
An Example of Allowing a Desire to Arrive on Its Own
I don't know why, but it seems we trip over the "allowing" part of the Deliberate Attraction formula more often than the other two parts. The Deliberate Attraction formula gives us a simple description of how to leverage the Law of Attraction so we can attract more of what we DO want and enjoy.
How to Forgive Another for Past Hurts
No one gets through life without being hurt by another person. We all have experienced the pain of a thoughtless remark, gossip, or lie.
What is the Success Lesson in this Story?
One of my clients gave me permission to tell you his story.Jim called me 9 months ago and asked for help.
Business Coaching Legacy: Reflections on What You Want to Leave Behind?
Updating my will has been on my mind for quite some time now. Life circumstances change, kids grow-up, financial situations changes.
Tips for Writing Great Coaching E-Books
Never understimate the power of a well-written word. Tens of thousands of readers of coaching ebooks have had their lives changed for the better by a well written ebook.
The Need to Feel Special
From the time Jennifer was a little child, she was demanding of attention, especially from her mother, Sarah. With two older brothers, Jennifer had a "special" place in the family as the baby and the only girl.
Crisis: Danger or Opportunity?
I have often heard motivational speakers say that the word crisis in Chinese means both danger and opportunity. In investigating the facts, I have found running arguments on the web as to whether or not this is true.
Friends?
I met my friend when we were in graduate school, and we enjoyed hanging out together outside of classes. After receiving our degrees, we both left school to live in different states.
The Fastest Way to Ruin Yourself
I don't know many people who would admit to wanting to ruin themselves, but there are a lot of people who are doing everything they can to accomplish that very goal. They certainly don't see it that way, but if you look at the way they live, you can see it happening.
Making Communication Effective: 4 Language Filters
Language is a challenging way to communicate. It allows us to share our thoughts and feelings by describing our personal views of reality.
Growing On G.R.O.W - A More Specific Coaching Model For Busy Managers
The effective coaching of employees by their line managers is fast becoming an expectation from both senior management and from the employees themselves. Many managers are now being taught how best to coach their employees by employing the standard coaching model called G.