Humor Information

By Tom Attea

Pity the neglected insurgents in Iraq. Since the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict has taken center stage in the ongoing tragedy called The Triumph Over Terrorism, the war in Iraq has been relegated, even if briefly, to the wings.

Obviously, the insurgents in what was once, perhaps, a nation, though subjugated by murderous tyranny, had grown used to their starring role on the world’s overly troubled stage, as the leading villains in the unfortunate tale.

Malcontent with their lot, they’ve been doing all they can to call our attention back to them – stomping around on the dusty boards, waving red hankies, and setting off more explosions than ever. For instance, the insulted tragedians are now inflicting a daily toll at death’s door of over 100 shot and exploded innocents.

Too bad they won't just go to their dressing rooms, where they can cool down and touch up their blood stains. Their current role, unwelcome as it may be to them, is to sit out the Israeli excision of Hezbollah and Hamas from the body politic of the Middle East.

While they may be nettled by the backhand of neglect, the scene currently commanding the stage is of greater magnitude than their own petulant urgency, because one of the players, Israel, has an indisputable hold on, in the eyes of most of the world’s audience, the moral high ground. There’s actually someone there whose general moral rectitude and righteous plight make a player to care about and root for.

There is also the undeniable reality that the bloody scene of the insurgency in Iraq has gone on far too long. The audience now views it as a boring comment on its own counterproductive stupidity and longs for a respite from the usual events at center stage.

Even more, the weary audience just wants to know when the dolts who have been shunted offstage will slap themselves in the forehead in recognition of their own deadly idiocy and join in rebuilding the fractured remnant of what never was but may yet be a free and prosperous nation, where the citizens can enjoy life while they sit by with the rest of us and watch yet another determinedly retro part of the world become as self-destructively moronic as they once were.

But now we’re getting a bit ahead of ourselves. We’re sure if the insurgents will simply bide their time, the world will be forced to endure their lumbering and ludicrous return to villainous stardom.

Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs."