Humor Information |
Health Club Regulars -- Some of the People Youre Likely To Meet at the Gym
One of the great benefits of belonging to a health club is the huge variety of exercise equipment that's available. It's also a great place to meet and observe a wide cross section of society. Here are just a few of the more notable health club regulars: 1. Screaming Banshee -- We've all been focused on our workout when out of nowhere comes a blood-curdling sound from the corner of the weight room. You look over and there's a guy doing laterals with 20 lb dumbbells. It doesn't matter what the exercise or weight is -- he's screaming with every rep. If it helps his workouts, then more power to him! It certainly makes a good case for a Walkman. 2. The Strainer -- The Strainer can often be observed loading up a barbell or weight stack with poundage that he is unable to perform even a single rep in good form with. A favorite exercise of the Strainer is the triceps press down machine. He will position the pin almost near the bottom of the weight stack and then proceed to wrestle the stack downward with every ounce of his being. It's truly painful to watch, but like a car wreck, it's hard to look away. After using most all of the muscles in his upper body along with several in his lower, he finally manages to complete a rep. "That's one!" Yep, only nine more to go. Oh yeah, don't bother trying to be helpful and tell him to use less weight. You'll only be greeted with a nasty glare. 3. iPod Head Banger -- this is usually a young person, male or female, who seems to have ear buds permanently implanted into their head. Music can be a great inspiration during your workouts, but these folks turn the volume up to 11. Of course everyone in the immediate area can groove to the same jams due to the sound leaking out from their ear buds. The hazard is that Mr. or Ms Head Banger is usually oblivious to their surroundings and you'll need to shout to get their attention if the need arises. At least you can hear them coming and give them a wide berth. 4. Stanley Steamer -- it's hard to believe, but there are people who actually use their gym memberships just to avail themselves of the locker room amenities. Take Stanley Steamer for example. He may come in on his lunch hour or after work and do some quick cardio work and then it's right back to the locker room. The cardio work is just a pretext for what comes next. He then will do alternating shifts between the dry sauna and steam room until he's sweated out every last drop of water from his body. This process can go on for up to an hour. "Great for the pores!" he'll tell you as he stands there glistening like a Thanksgiving Butterball. You go Stan! 5. Ken and Barbie -- there are some gym regulars who are so genetically gifted that they have gone into permanent "maintenance mode" for they're training. Their routines consist of a solid core of shaping exercises with the strict rule that they must never, under any circumstances, ever shed one drop of sweat! No hair is out of place and they look spectacular in their Lycra workout gear. In fact, you seem to never see them wearing anything else, even outside of the gym. 6. Chatty Cathy -- Cathy is a relatively new species that has evolved with the proliferation of cell phones and the trend to use them no matter where we are. She will take up position on the adductor machine and wait for a call -- any call -- which soon arrives without fail. She'll talk away for minutes on end. Occasionally passing the cell phone to any friends who have joined her for a "workout". She'll use these breaks to get in a few reps on whatever machine she's parked herself on. Just to be fair and balanced, there are also plenty of Chatty Carls as well. 7. Swiss Ball Magician -- this is usually either a personal trainer or staff member who has learned a large repertoire of stability ball exercises from a special course or secret training manual. I marvel at the endless variety of moves they possess! They're on top of the ball, under it, along side it, between the legs with it, and around the back. They make the Harlem Globe Trotters look like pikers! Actually, I pay close attention when they're around and try to cop some of their moves. All of these types are well-meaning folks and they are certainly preferable to some of the knuckleheads that sometimes show up at the gym. They make going to the gym the enjoyable and enriching experience that it is. Rich Rojas Elliptical Trainer Reviews and Fitness Ideas
MORE RESOURCES: Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting |
RELATED ARTICLES
Dumb Luck I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I don't have much of a sense of humor at all. New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater. A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is carrying a future lawyer?A: She has an extreme craving for baloney.Q: What is the legal definition of "Appeal"?A: Something a person slips on in a grocery store. Stopping Bad Breath Bart "Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. Voodoo Munchies Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness. A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This? IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned on the coffee,or got your kids fed,If you are the last one dressed and ready to leave the house,While others in the family get ready,your still moving a mouse.If you have more friends online, than you do in real life, And hubby refers to you as his cyber wife. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05 Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. Slip-sliding On A Peel Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians "Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer. Got Originality? There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so cliché that it's even cliché to write "got cliché?" But the worst is not behind us. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling. American Independence - The True Story It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away. Tales of a Spectator Spectator Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self-contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race . The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole. To See Or Not To See I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. Beyond Black and White Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of coffee?" he asks. "I just roasted the latest batch. How I Spent my Summer Vacation One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world. Computers According to Carol A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first. |
home | site map | contact us |