4 Quick, Easy Ways to Say No to People Who Take You for Granted

No matter how wonderful you are sometimes other people will try to take advantage of your good nature. They will push you, get you to do more than your fair share and keep asking you to do even more.

And worst of all -- often your efforts will be taken for granted. Unless you can say No, the situation will not change in fact it may get even more difficult.

That is unless you can say No to these unreasonable people because very often to win respect from people you have to sometimes say No.

Here are 4 great ways to stand up for yourself and say No:

1. Soften the No

Instead of shouting No at the person and creating an uncomfortable encounter you can instead soften the No by postponing your help.

For example --

  • No, I am busy right now but I can help you in 40 minutes time

  • No, I have other things to do at the moment

  • Right now I do not have a free moment maybe later on

  • I would love to help but not at this minute, try John

What you are doing is softening the No by saying not now rather than an outright No. This is a lot easier to do especially when dealing with people who intimidate you.

2. Negotiate

To deal with people who want your help but are slow to help you -- negotiate! When they want something from you, you have the power - use it!

Say you are happy to help on one condition -- that they help you immediately when you seek their help. They will usually agree because they have to! If they say No, again as above, postpone helping them if you can.

There are some people who view the world in terms of what is in it for them and the concerns of others are of secondary importance. With these people you are wasting your time talking about your needs.

For that reason you have to link your needs to their gains by negotiating - tell them they will get what they want IF you get what you want.

3. Say No When You Do Not Care About the Outcome

When you are flexing this new found ability to say No for the first time use every opportunity to get some practice e.g.

  • In a restaurant, say no to the first table you are offered

  • at home say No to coffee when everyone else says Yes, have tea

  • In a store say yes to an offer of help but No to the product

What I mean is to say No when you are dealing with people whose approval is not that important to you. You will quickly learn through experience that it is not the end of the world if you say no and the other person is not pleased with you.

4. Say No to the Big Request and Yes to a Smaller One

Sometimes you are going to be asked to do more than your fair share. If you cannot avoid the job you may need to consider doing part of it.

A good way to handle these requests is to offer to do part of the job but not all of it. For example:

  • I will clean 2 rooms if you do the other 3 rooms

  • I can do 5 pages of the report as long as you give me the data

  • If you start the project I will finish it

By standing up for yourself on small points you will gradually assert yourself more often on the big issues. The main thing is to get started today on winning back control of your interactions with anyone who pushes you too far.

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

5 Steps to Derail Difficult People - Your Surefire Way to a Peaceful Resolution
That one guy at work that always has to be right; your buddy's wife who can't eat anywhere they serve burgers, or the monster-in-law, I mean mother-in-law, with too many opinions for your own good, difficult people, we all know them. So the question is, is there a right and a wrong way to deal with them? The answer is yes, if you want to avoid unnecessary confrontations.
Budda In Your Back Pocket
The other day I was late for something. Not very late.
Do You Want to Make More Money as A Life Coach
There's a lot of coaches out there not making any money, looking for opportunities, trying to model what others are doing, networking like crazy, researching, visualizing, affirming and hoping? yes, hoping that the clients show up before the bailiffs.I've been involved in Marketing and PR and worked with and met the good, the bad and the ugly of the coaching world and can honestly say if you are not making any money there is probably a reason why that I can help you with.
5 Keys to Powerful Communication
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"?The problem is most of us can't get past it.
Miscommunication - Root Cause of Problems?
People of two opposing ideas can stir up argumentsand fights. It's that situation when one thinkshe has the right concept while the other one also believes he has the proper notion.
What is the Success Lesson in this Story?
One of my clients gave me permission to tell you his story.Jim called me 9 months ago and asked for help.
Permission To Have FUN
? Have you been working long hours? ? Have you been managing 10 (or more) tasks at once?? Are you combining several different personal and professional roles?99% of my clients are experts at managing lifestyles similar to those above and this issue is dedicated to all of you.Your reward for managing your lives so well is permission to have some FUN.
4 Amazing Tips To Successfully Persuade Anyone
Having excellent persuasion skills is one of the most important abilities to possess in today's fast-paced world. We need thesupport and cooperation of other people to help us in reachingour goals.
The Power of Visualization
Professional athletes and other highly successful people use the power of visualization technique on a regular basis. Why? Results of a 20-year study of the effects of visualization on results revealed an amazing discovery.
Change the Words and Change the World
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIf we want to change our lives in any way, all we need to do is to change our words, thoughts and beliefs.
12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?Here's why..
Whats Up With All These Coaches?
If you are anything like me, you may have noticed a tremendous increase in the number of coaches that have appeared recently. Traditionally, coaches existed primarily in the world of sports, but you could also find voice, acting and singing coaches.
Anger: To Control or To Learn
Many of us will do anything to avoid another's anger, yet may be quick to anger ourselves. Many of us dread another's anger yet continue to use our own anger as a way to control others.
Working With Choices
Despite our skills, experience or expertise we can still make a meal out of making a choice!Here are some common reasons why people struggle to make choices, and some tips for making them easier.1.
A Live It
Real change happens only when it becomes part of our everyday life. When a change becomes a habit, it isn't something new we are trying, but becomes part of what we do as our routine.
Moment of Magic
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but its' therapeutic effects are recognised in most cultures. It allows a positive distractive moment or moments.
Forget Resolutions - Craft A Life Theme That Works
How many people do you know who, in January, enthusiastically name their resolution for the year yet somehow neglect to follow through with it a few weeks or months later? Forget making New Year's resolutions. They rarely work because they are often based on "shoulds" versus the bigger picture of your life.
Building a Strong Coaching Practice
As a person who has been around the coaching profession for a number of years, I wish I could say that my practice is full right now. But the fact is that I've been pursuing TV gigs in the last few years and haven't put much emphasis on building my individual coaching practice.
Think Twice Before Youre Nice
A few months back I had a disturbing dream. In my dream a woman with stringy blonde hair rang my bell.
Addiction to Blame
Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations.