The Tolerance Effect

While working with a client several months ago, we went through a process of identifying areas of personal strengths and weaknesses. Through this exercise, we discussed various characteristics and ended up deciding that there was opportunity for improvement in her level of "tolerance". A funny thing happened after that. When she found herself in a situation that had previously triggered a negative reaction be it disappointment, irritation, frustration, anger or even animosity (usually focused on the person in the car ahead of her who didn't use their turn signal), the word "tolerance" would flash in her head and she could immediately change the way she reacted to the situation.

This change was so powerful that I shared this story with a few other clients and they got the same results. Several weeks later, I found myself experiencing the same phenomenon.

Here's what happened. Once the word "tolerance" was presented, it created an awareness to the conscious mind that could over-ride what already existed in the subconscious. As a result, each person was able to break the pattern of "programmed behavior".

Another interesting factor that came from this experience was the far-reaching effects from this particular word. "Tolerance" isn't a word that is often used to describe personal or professional traits but it has numerous positive connotations. Just a few examples would include: caring, kindness, support, non-judgmental attitudes, perception, consideration, open-mindedness, understanding, patience and flexibility. Taking this a step further, tolerance is an attribute that is usually applied when dealing with unpleasant or compromising situations or in our interactions with other people. Have you ever noticed how most of us are our own worst critic? Just imagine the impressive changes that could be achieved when we become more tolerant of ourselves!

What could you achieve if you were more flexible and open to trying new things? How much personal and professional growth could you realize if you were more patient with your progress? What alliances would you form if you could both give and get professional support? How would you feel if you were as kind to yourself as you are to others? Don't be surprised when the word tolerance springs to your mind when you least expect it and see how it helps you become more focused on your success!

Jeannette Kraar, president of Performance Management International is the Breakthrough Career Coach and a highly-acclaimed trainer, speaker and consultant. Hundreds of PMI clients have succeeded even in the most turbulent times. Jeannette is the author of BREAKTHROUGH, The Hate My Job, Need A Life, Can't Get No Satisfaction SOLUTION.

Learn more about the book at http://www.breakthroughcareersolutions.com

Email Jeannette at pmi@manageyoursuccess.com or visit her on-line at http://www.manageyoursuccess.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Flying in the Slow Lane
Dogs distrust hot air balloons. I gathered this tidbit as my husband and I floated over the mountains in a wicker gondola, listening to the barking chorus that followed us even 3,000 feet into the air.
Skills for Change
The name of the game is CHANGE -- that's true at work, and it's also true in life. In both situations there are FOUR skills you can trust:1.
What You See is What You Get
H. Jackson Brown Jr.
Encourage Personality Testing
I was asked the other day : "Kate, is personality testing novelty, frivolity, or common sense?"The answer is: It depends on whether or not you utilize them properly.I highly recommend them for anyone who is in a relationship of any kind: business, friendships, family, etc.
The Self Development Tool Box
Do you have a self-development toolbox? Do you have a standard set of instruments or mechanisms that you use to delve into your inner self? Just asking yourself those questions makes you think, doesn't it? That is because questioning is the most powerful tool in your self-development toolbox. When we start on the self-development path it is usually because we have asked ourselves a question: who am I, what is it I want, why am I in this position, when can I change, where will this happen and how can I make it happen? Questions can be about us or about others and are used as identifiers.
Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler
Many people use their sofa and TV to help them 'switch off and relax'. In reality, television programs can suspend you n stress for yours, with depressing or thrilling storylines, violence and madness!True relaxation is achieved when all tensions and thoughts are eliminated.
Coaches, Do You Make These 7 Deadly Cash Flow Mistakes in Your Practice?
Managing cash flow is every small business owner's most important function. Avoid these seven deadly mistakes to make sure you aren't creating cash flow problems in your coaching practice.
The Joy of Learning!
"Part of what motivates me to write this book is a concern that we've lost touch in education with the sheer joy of what it means to learn something new." -Thomas Armstrong, Author, Awakening Genius in the ClassroomI think I was around 6 years old, when my mum decided to put me into Piano class.
3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your ApproachWhen I was in school I always had a small group of close friends but I never found it easy meeting new people.
Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy
At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation, new ideas and new opportunities into the marketplace, outsourcing and the elimination of white-collar jobs has left many of us feeling anxious and insecure about the future. It is increasingly apparent that the American Worker can no longer look to the corporation for a sense of security, place, benefits or loyalty.
The Executive Coaching Contract
Having found a coach you feel comfortable and excited about working with, the next step is to discuss and sign the coaching contract or agreement. This is vital to ensure that both coach and client are clear from the outset about what is expected.
Plug in Your Systems for Success
Have you ever noticed that so many of us who work diligently and ethically rarely achieve our objectives? And, why is it that those who-seemingly-work half as hard and half as long experience one success after another?The answer is twofold; successful people succeed because they implement proven, systems for success. Secondly, successful people have mastered the art of making time, work for them.
Being an Emotional Victim
None of us like to think of ourselves as victims. The term "victim" brings to mind a pathetic image of a person who is powerless.
Media Underload! The Stress Reducing Psych-Diet
The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on the rise, overwhelming divorce rate, corruption in corporate America, and, oh yes, Janet at the Super Bowl! Where does it end? With so much going wrong, whats going right in the world?It is times like these that I find myself mired down in the muck spewing forth from every media outlet. Like water dripping on a sponge, this negativity begins to seep in and pervade my thoughts and influence my reactions to the world around me.
Communicating Anger Compassionately
Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an emotion everyone knows about. Unfortunately, few people have been taught how to mange this feeling in an assertive and compassionate way.
Q-Tip It!
Back in the 1920's when Polish-American entrepreneur Leo Gerstenzang invented cotton swabs as a safer way to clean his baby's ears, he called his product "Q-Tip." Actually, his first name-choice was "Baby Gay" - but that didn't sell, so the by-now familiar name emerged.
What in the World is Life Coaching?
In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy.
Some Business Coaches are in Error
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using it. For instance a corporate inner circle will be told that they have inner conflicts with ethical practice due to the stockholders coming first, the customers coming second and employees coming third.
You Are Never Trapped!
"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka (1883-1924)A good friend of mine graduated from Boston University Law School.
How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over
How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things OverJim and Mary Jones loved each other deeply, but often went into horrific verbal battles over any number of issues. They would argue and yell for hours, often into the night, leaving both of them exhausted, emotionally disconnected, hurt and resentful toward each other.