How Are You Inventing Your Life Today?

"Organisms do not experience environments, they create them."
-- From A Simpler Way, by Margaret Wheatley

Walking down Lincoln Avenue in Portsmouth, I am struck by the beauty of the day - forsythia, tulips and daffodils, bright sun, warm breeze - and the freedom and privilege I have to walk in a healthy body, through a friendly neighborhood, of my own volition. I think about how much I take for granted, and how easy it is to feel centered and content when life is easy, flowing, and conflict free.

The day before was not so. It was rainy, windy, and cold. I hadn't slept and woke up short-tempered and irritable. (Will winter never end?!) A project I'd been putting off could not be postponed any longer, and I knew I had to finish it even though I had no inspiration for it. My body ached from hard aikido practice the night before, and I felt tired and lacked energy. I opened a window and spilled a potted plant all over my office floor. And the last piece of my favorite toasting bread had mysteriously disappeared from its storage place. Tomorrow - who knows? As my friend Carol says, life can fall on your head at any moment.

So how do I walk my talk, change my attitude, adjust my goals, and reinvent my life even when I don't feel like it? I kept thinking: You can do this, this is great, exactly what you look for - ideal opportunities to practice . . . center, breathe, laugh. Sure, it's easy to be centered when things are going your way. This is the perfect day to practice - when they aren't.

I'm embarrassed to say that it was still hard. The only good news that I was able to give myself was that I noticed. I could see I was having a "pity party," which was a step in the right direction. Friend and colleague, Joy Jacobs, calls this ability to step outside our selves and acknowledge our reactions meta-communication. My meta-communicator is the role that says, Hey, Judy, you're really having a strong reaction to that plant falling over. Whoah! Are you sure you want to throw it through the window? Right, probably not.

The meta-communicator is the insulation between my reaction and my response. It keeps me from getting dragged down an emotionally reactive path that I will probably regret. The ability to meta-communicate is a sign of emotional intelligence, analogous to self-awareness, and essential to self-control. Without the ability to meta-communicate, I get lost in the emotion and identify with it. There is no distance, no separation between me and my mental state; the attitude, emotion, or mood overrides conscious thought and takes me wherever it wants. I can only talk about the emotion again (like this) when it's played itself out and I regain the ability to see it.

Centering awakens the meta-communicator. Taking a moment of literal and figurative inspiration - breathing and connecting to my power source - gives me the time and the space to decide if I want to get dragged off or not.

Pity parties are fun sometimes. I can enjoy getting together telephonically or in person with special friends. We dress up in our best long-suffering attitudes and moan about this event or that person, how much work there is to do and how little time. We bring our meta-communicators along, and we laugh at ourselves in the midst of our complaining. It's a lot more fun to whine with awareness.

His Holiness the Dalai Lama said, "If you don't like what's happening in your life, change your mind." How do you like what's happening in your life at the moment? I realize it may be a lot more challenging than winter weather in May. Still, gently experiment with changing your relationship to life events, and see what happens.

When I am willing and able to do this, to change my mind, everything changes. It begins by noticing my reactive state.
I'm upset.
Okay - Upset Energy. How can I use it in a way that's congruent with my values and vision?
I take charge of it, before it takes charge of me.
I begin to travel a path of power and presence, instead of a path of reactivity and regret.

As I place that bit of padding between my reaction and my response, I reclaim my power. I reconnect with what is really important. Why am I here? What do I want to contribute to this workplace, this family unit, this relationship? What are my hopes for this conversation? How will I impact this meeting?

More sunny days and uplifting moments are on the horizon. But whatever the external or internal weather conditions, I am protected by an inner spring of insight that is always awake, aware, and available to be turned on at any moment. And I remember all that I have to be grateful for, including the privilege of having unsettling emotions.

How are you inventing your life today, this moment? Is life a struggle, or does it flow? It's possible that the answers are really up to you.

© 2005 Judy Ringer, Power & Presence Training

About the Author: Judy Ringer is Founder of Power & Presence Training, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a more positive work environment. Judy is also a black belt in aikido, and is writing her first book on the connection between aikido, conflict, and living a more purposeful life. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit http://www.JudyRinger.com

Note: You're welcome to reprint this article as long as it remains complete and unaltered (including the 'about the author' info at the end).

More Resources

Everyday People Are Accomplishing Their Dreams - Now Its Your Turn!
If you can do anything in this time in your life what would you do?I mean the sky is the limit. You have all the money you need, your bills are all paid and right now you have the opportunity to do whatever you want.
Top 5 Areas to Create A Super-Reserve!
Last week, I had the privilege of leading a 4-day teleclass about creating reserves that will meet our needs and support our lives, forever! The goal was to create systems that automatically respond to everything that distracts, worries or confuses us, for the rest of our lives! (How's that for thinking big?) When we are secure and our needs are met once and for all, we are free to live large, pursue our dreams and challenge life on our own terms.While most of us worry about our shortage of time, money, or energy, and too often focus on working harder to get "enough", these 20 people wanted to go beyond enough, and cruise right past "plenty" to create "Super-Reserves" - a lifetime supply - of all the things that are important to them!In 4 days, we didn't find all the answers, but we made extraordinary progress and I'd like to share some of my notes with you.
The Take-off!
"I just can't start a conversation with women, and it's killing me. I'll see a female who I've been making good eye contact with, but I'm too shy to talk to her.
I Believe In Man
I have a deep and abiding belief that there lies within every person the capacity for greatness. I don't mean the old adage that you can become anything you want to be -- I'm more receptive to Peter F.
When You Attract Negative People, Be Thankful
Laws of Attraction are clearly defined. What comes back is a reflection of the energy you are radiating.
Universal Law
Have you ever had "one of those days" when absolutely everything goes wrong? Have you ever wondered why some people are successful, while others spend their entire lives struggling? Do you ever get the feeling that someone is out to get you because everything you touch goes wrong?If you're like most people, these thoughts do occur to you from time to time. But what is the answer to these questions? Is it a question of luck, could it be fate or is there something else going on here of which most people are unaware?The answer is both all around us and within us, and is called Universal Law.
The Competition Fallacy
So many people falsely think that if they help another, they are helping the competition. This scarcity perspective breeds greed and insecurity; ultimately, people who hold it will realize that had they not been helped at certain times, they would not have had the opportunity to be where they are today.
Living Abundantly: May the Force Be With You!
Perhaps, you have heard the phrase "May the force be with you" from your favorite Episode of the Star Wars movies. The Star Wars movies explore the power of our choices, the wonder of destiny, and the manifesting power that is in us and all around us.
Clarity of Vision
Imagine trying to drive at night in your car with windows covered in Vaseline - or try walking around for a day with prescription glasses that aren't your own. You might find it very difficult to function and get where you'd like to go - even when your ability to think is perfect.
Other Peoples Opinions
In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions.
7 Ways to Drive a Man Wild
It's unbelievable the amount of bad advice there is out there on how to seduce a man or if they give you advice they forget to tell you how to use it properly. So here are a couple of tips on what to do and what not to do to drive a man wild and an instruction manual.
Great Things Cannot Happen Without Change
If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.It's critical that we realize our lives can change at any moment.
Doing Your Lifes Work
Most people want to do their life's work. Some people are able to separate work completely from life and be happy doing anything, but this is not the norm.
Communication Quiz: Are You a Great Communicator?
Communication, which occupies approximately 70% of our waking hours, is what many leaders find the most frustrating. The fact is most of us were never taught how to communicate in a way that produces desired results, so we continue to experience frustration, resistance, conflicts, or breakdowns.
What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
'Image & Professionalism' we hear these words being thrown around in conversation like cheap tokens, almost as frequently as their counterparts 'quality', 'service', and 'value'. So what does 'Image & Professionalism' really mean, and what do you see when you look in the mirror?A funny thing happens when you overuse a word.
Affirmations Based on Rich Dad, Poor Dad
I'm sure most of you have heard of, and perhaps read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki. If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend it along with his book "Cashflow Quadrant.
Intuition: Your Best Moving Guide
Recently someone asked me, "What coaching tools do you use?""Tools?" I asked, bewildered. "I avoid tests and assessments.
Social Skills Training Can Positively Impact Your Life
Millions of people become anxious and insecure when speaking in public, starting a conversation, or mingling with others in a social setting.There are a large number of individuals who are extremely successful in their professional lives, but tend to shy away from meeting new people, attending social functions, and interpersonal communication.
Who are You Listening To?
Have you ever noticed that there is no shortage of people willing to give you advice, whether or not you asked for it? I've developed some simple rules about from whom I will accept advice and suggestions. I do not ask for heath advice from people who are sick, I do not ask for financial advice from people who are broke and I do not ask for business advice from people who are not in their own business.
3 Steps to Manifesting Your Ideal Life
Over the past several weeks I've received dozens of email solicitations for books, CDs and videos that promise to reveal newly discovered techniques to improve my life. These emails promise a wide variety of benefits: how to get rich, lose weight, meet the woman of my dreams and buy a million dollar mansion with no money down.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

Releasing Your Potential
In life, few people ever step up to live their lives at a higher level. They spend their lives wallowing in the circumstances that surround them.
Theres No Glory In Being The Richest Man In The Graveyard!
What was your energy level like today? Did you wake up this morning like Tony the Tiger feeling Grrr---ate?.? Did you jump into all your activities today with enthusiasm? Were you rarin' to go at the first chance? Did your "get-up-and-go" rare up and roar, or, did it get up and went?Down For The Count!Well, if your get-up-and-go got up and went, let's see if we can do something about it.
Limiting Perceptions and Broadening Horizons
If you live in modern society I'm sure at some point in your life you've sat in a window seat of an airplane looking down at the fluffy blanket of clouds and thought to yourself, 'Wow, it's so big and flat, fluffy and soft, I wonder what it would feel like to lay down on that super-soft mattress.' Well, think about what Socrates, Lao Tsu, Confucius, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Moses or Mohammed would have thought if they saw the same sight that we pretty much take for granted as 'normality'.
Where Are The Punctuation Points In Your Life?
We live in a very busy age with many pressures and demands on our time. Often in workplaces there is a culture of busyness, where it's important to be seen to be busy and stressed.
The Art of Manifestation
There are times in life when we wish to create something. Perhaps it is a new relationship, car, house, or a special holiday.
Make A Superb First Impression
It is extremely important that people have a good first impression of you. Either you make a good impression or you will suffer for it! It is going to affect how your contact views you for the rest of that conversation.
Do You Choose to Believe in Choice? (Not for the Faint of Heart)
What role if any, does 'choice' play in the shape and direction our lives take? Is there a choice in what can and will happen in our lives?The predetermined 'body/mind'First of all, what possibly can happen to an individual (i.e.
How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence
If you think success, happiness and love are going to happenwithout learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken.Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well asthose of others.
4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want!
Over time, the TIP's Letters that receive the most response have dealt with creating and living the life you really want. Many of us are incredibly frustrated at not being able to reach our dreams and have the life we want.
Change Your Association
Do you know any people who seem to attract bad luck?I had a friend years ago that just could not seem to get it together. He was in and out of jobs, had poor relationships, had no money, and had a bad attitude.
The Mind - What An Amazing Universe
You are what you think;The experts say we barely use 10% of our minds. I wouldn't be so sure about that or very proud of it either.
The Competition Fallacy
So many people falsely think that if they help another, they are helping the competition. This scarcity perspective breeds greed and insecurity; ultimately, people who hold it will realize that had they not been helped at certain times, they would not have had the opportunity to be where they are today.
How To Create The Life You Really Want
Australians are losing their laidback, carefree reputation, as we continue to work longer hours, exercise less and neglect our leisure and family time. Recent research indicates that 67 per cent of Australian professionals spend at least 20 hours a week thinking about their job when they should be relaxing, and less than half take their entitled annual leave.
The Art of Loving & Living
The joy of living is in loving. No doubt, only lovers enjoy life!Live every moment of your life as a love-live affair and create a win-win situation for yourself.
Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz
How well do you understand how gut instincts - yours and others - influence likeability, decision making and even attention span? Want to find out? Here are nine questions. Some answers may surprise you.
Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval
Ever had a time in your life when those closest to youdisapproved of your behavior? It is very uncomfortable is it not?In a moment, peace of mind can vanish in a puff of smoke and youcrave approval more than anything else. This time in thewilderness seems to last forever and when it is finally over thenewly earned approval of your peers feels just great.
Achieving Your Highest Potential: The Journey Begins With Self Awareness
We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and negative paradigms. We all grew up with defined set of family and cultural values; where we were raised to believe that what our parents and relatives said about us and our capabilities was "truth".
10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 1
For the longest time, people believed that the earth was flat and that if you traveled all the way to the end, you would fall off! People were trapped; they were stuck in a world that reached out only as far as they could see - a world much, much smaller than the actual size of earth. They were stuck not because that was all that they had available to them, but because that's all they "believed" they had.
Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing!
I wish you never have to go through that kind of pain!Last week, I was on the breath-taking island of Puerto Rico at a resort on the beach enjoying the crashing waves of the ocean and the cool breeze. If you don't know by now, I am an observer.
Is Effortless Prosperity Really Possible?
Dear friends,Whenever I read the words "effortless prosperity" a chain reaction of thoughts immediately starts in my mind. I ask myself these questions.