Communication Quiz: Are You a Great Communicator?

Communication, which occupies approximately 70% of our waking hours, is what many leaders find the most frustrating. The fact is most of us were never taught how to communicate in a way that produces desired results, so we continue to experience frustration, resistance, conflicts, or breakdowns. Think of a recent important conversation. How many of these questions can you answer YES to?

  • Did I taking full responsibility for the message being heard by the other person? (Remember, it doesn't matter what you say, it only matters what the other person hears.)
  • Did I respect the other person's point of view? (Did I have a reaction to what they were saying that prevented me from listening to their full message?)
  • Did the other person feel heard and understood? (Did I acknowledge them?)
  • If I was asking someone to take a specific action, did I make my request clear?
  • Was I speaking in a way the other person can understand? (Speaking in their communication style.)
  • Was I communicating openly, without prejudices, expectations and judgment? (Was I focused on having to be right or hearing their point of view?)
  • Did the other person leave the conversation feeling good - with some value?
  • Did I leave the conversation feeling good - with some value?
  • Did I follow-up to see if the conversation was successful - it led to the desired results?
  • If the outcome of the conversation did not meet my expectations, did I learn what I could improve upon to better communicate with that particular person?

    • So how did you score?
    8-10 Yeses indicate you're the tops. Keep up the good work.
    4-7 Yeses is OK. Brush up in certain areas.
    0-3 means you have work to do.
    Here are four ways to be a better communicator and leader:

    Talk less and hear more.
    We want to be heard and listened to but we don't always concentrate on listening to others. We focus more on our agenda than on the other person's thoughts, concerns or issues.

    Don't assume others are mind readers.
    We want some kind of action or response from another person. However, we don't let them know what we really want or how to achieve it. Before assuming the other knows what you want, first inform and then ask for feedback. Take the time upfront to get better mileage later on.

    Don't shot the messenger.
    We want to understand but our ability to understand is tainted by our perceptions of the person speaking or the outcome we are looking to achieve. So, we often pass judgment on the speaker and disregard the message. Concentrate on the message not the messenger.

    Join forces.
    We want acceptance and agreement from others, so much so, that we often become consumed with having to be right or proving our point. We push and push our agenda. Rather, stop, look and listen for areas of mutual agreement. Then work from there to co-create a greater outcome together.

    The next time you are involved in an important conversation pause your mental and verbal tape player for a moment. Then start really listening. It's amazing what you will discover. Perhaps information that can lead to your leadership and business success.

    Marcia Zidle, the 'people smarts' coach, works with business leaders to quickly solve their people management headaches so they can concentrate on their #1 job - to grow and increase profits. She offers free help through Leadership Briefing, a weekly e-newsletter with practical tips on leadership style, employee motivation, recruitment and retention and relationship management. Subscribe by going tohttp://leadershiphooks.com/ and get the bonus report "61 Leadership Time Savers and Life Savers". Marcia is the author of the What Really Works Handbooks - resources for managers on the front line and the Power-by-the-Hour programs - fast, convenient, real life, affordable courses for leadership and staff development. She is available for media interviews, conference presentations and panel discussions on the hottest issues affecting the workplace today. Contact Marcia at 800-971-7619.

    More Resources

    Everyday People Are Accomplishing Their Dreams - Now Its Your Turn!
    If you can do anything in this time in your life what would you do?I mean the sky is the limit. You have all the money you need, your bills are all paid and right now you have the opportunity to do whatever you want.
    Who is Directing You?
    Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term mystic. During a lecture he was presenting on a mystic's role in society, he uttered the words "inner warrior," while looking directly at me.
    Are You a Sheep in People Clothing?
    Many people, who feel that they are independent and communicate well, are actually sheep in disguise. Are you one of them, how do you tell and how do you go about changing if you are?When you are able to confidently stand on your own two feet, you become in control of your own life.
    A Lesson in Letting Go
    Do you hear yourself saying? When I have enough money, I'll..
    Perception Is Reality
    "We think, therefore we are."God always gives us what we expect.
    Character or Reputation
    Character or Reputation. When we see these two words together, we often mistakenly believe that you cannot have one without the other.
    10 Powerful Tenets Of Personal & Professional Leadership Using The Law Of Attraction
    Leadership is an innate ability in all of us. Using the principals of the Law of Attraction to strengthen our leadership and consciously use it in our personal and professional endeavors will not only attract more success to us it will allow us to be of service to others and make a valuable contribution.
    Demanding Miracles
    Have you ever had an overwhelming problem or issue? Was there some circumstance in your life that seemed beyond your ability to handle it? Have you ever called out to God, Buddha, guardian angels, The Force, your higher self, Mohammed, Mother Earth, whatever name you give that spirit? To find an all-encompassing name without prejudice towards any one belief system, I'll just hereby use the word 'god' to refer to whatever or whoever it is that you pray to for assistance and guidance. Have you cried out to your god for help and guidance with some crisis in your life? Did you get an answer? Did you get help?When we get the help and assistance we've just asked for, we assume all is well in the heavens.
    Self-Divine-ation: Defining a Divine Future!
    In some of my counseling and coaching sessions, my clients ask me to perform a reading to tell them their future. In many cases, my response is, "why don't you tell me your future?" They stop and stare, speechless.
    Ending the Internal Conflict
    If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine, you've been taught to identify what you want to have. You've been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what you think about is what it drawn to you.
    Who Wants to Work?
    I feel a loss when pragmatism wins over the mystical. There is a greater magic at work when you engage with Source.
    How To Know You Are Living Your Dream
    How To Prove To Yourself That You Are Going After Your Big Dream.I have a personal story to share with you that happened not that long ago.
    What Do You Want Out of Life?
    What are you willing to give up in order to achieve that?We have all heard the old saying that there are no free lunches, right? Well, that is so true that it could have been one of the Ten Commandments. In order to receive anything we must be willing to give something and the amount that we receive is directly proportionate to that which we are willing to give - be it material things or time.
    Yes You Can
    If you could change one thing in your life today, what would it be? Why don't you have some of the things you'd like to have, and why do you have some? What's the reason for the inconsistency?Do you find yourself wondering what people think of you? Has that line of thinking ever made you doubt your abilities and your potential?Do you ever catch yourself thinking 'I can't do that, I'm not good enough' or 'that level of success and prosperity is for them, not for poor old me', or other similar thoughts?One thing you must realize is that your success in any venture starts with your thoughts about it. If you think you can succeed (in losing weight, stopping smoking, securing a high-income- paying job, finding your ideal partner, etc, etc), you're already on your way to getting what you want.
    If You Want Others to Like You, Like Yourself First!
    Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong or conceited, to think we have any good qualities. We may spend a lot of time berating ourselves for our negative qualities, thinking that self criticism is the key to improving our performance.
    Get More Personal
    Most folks who know me, know that when people write me I always like to write back and show how much I appreciate the message. I do stay busy, but taking the time to write back is something that's very important to me.
    Make the Eat and Earn Connection
    If you've ever thought about wanting to increase your physical energy and wouldn't mind increasing your financial as well, you have to read this right now!Focus #1 - Name Your Hunger/Want/Desire/Achievement? You know what you want to change better than anyone else. It is that nagging voice in the back of your head that speaks to you every time you go against it (i.
    The Winning Combo!
    What do we all strive for in life? Success! Success is the ultimate destination. Every one of us has the good intentions and capacity to achieve something but we lack the follow-through.
    The Top 10 Roadblocks to Attracting Prosperity and what We can Do About Them!
    If it were easy, everyone would do IT; everyone would have IT.That "IT" is prosperity and we're all trying to achieve that stage in our lives where wealth, health, success are a daily part of our lives.
    7 Ways To Make You Feel Good Instantly!
    How are you feeling now?The answer to this question determines how much moneyyou will make, how big your house will be, how beautifulyour car will be, how well you will manage your relations,it determines every aspect of your life.WHY?I am glad you are asking why, because knowing why is goingto be your first step to higher level of awareness.

    More Attraction Information:

    Related Articles

    Releasing Your Potential
    In life, few people ever step up to live their lives at a higher level. They spend their lives wallowing in the circumstances that surround them.
    Theres No Glory In Being The Richest Man In The Graveyard!
    What was your energy level like today? Did you wake up this morning like Tony the Tiger feeling Grrr---ate?.? Did you jump into all your activities today with enthusiasm? Were you rarin' to go at the first chance? Did your "get-up-and-go" rare up and roar, or, did it get up and went?Down For The Count!Well, if your get-up-and-go got up and went, let's see if we can do something about it.
    Limiting Perceptions and Broadening Horizons
    If you live in modern society I'm sure at some point in your life you've sat in a window seat of an airplane looking down at the fluffy blanket of clouds and thought to yourself, 'Wow, it's so big and flat, fluffy and soft, I wonder what it would feel like to lay down on that super-soft mattress.' Well, think about what Socrates, Lao Tsu, Confucius, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Moses or Mohammed would have thought if they saw the same sight that we pretty much take for granted as 'normality'.
    Where Are The Punctuation Points In Your Life?
    We live in a very busy age with many pressures and demands on our time. Often in workplaces there is a culture of busyness, where it's important to be seen to be busy and stressed.
    The Art of Manifestation
    There are times in life when we wish to create something. Perhaps it is a new relationship, car, house, or a special holiday.
    Make A Superb First Impression
    It is extremely important that people have a good first impression of you. Either you make a good impression or you will suffer for it! It is going to affect how your contact views you for the rest of that conversation.
    Do You Choose to Believe in Choice? (Not for the Faint of Heart)
    What role if any, does 'choice' play in the shape and direction our lives take? Is there a choice in what can and will happen in our lives?The predetermined 'body/mind'First of all, what possibly can happen to an individual (i.e.
    How to Take Control of Your Self Confidence
    If you think success, happiness and love are going to happenwithout learning through mistakes along the way you are mistaken.Our brains are wired to learn from our own experiences as well asthose of others.
    4 Steps To Having the Life You REALLY Want!
    Over time, the TIP's Letters that receive the most response have dealt with creating and living the life you really want. Many of us are incredibly frustrated at not being able to reach our dreams and have the life we want.
    Change Your Association
    Do you know any people who seem to attract bad luck?I had a friend years ago that just could not seem to get it together. He was in and out of jobs, had poor relationships, had no money, and had a bad attitude.
    The Mind - What An Amazing Universe
    You are what you think;The experts say we barely use 10% of our minds. I wouldn't be so sure about that or very proud of it either.
    The Competition Fallacy
    So many people falsely think that if they help another, they are helping the competition. This scarcity perspective breeds greed and insecurity; ultimately, people who hold it will realize that had they not been helped at certain times, they would not have had the opportunity to be where they are today.
    How To Create The Life You Really Want
    Australians are losing their laidback, carefree reputation, as we continue to work longer hours, exercise less and neglect our leisure and family time. Recent research indicates that 67 per cent of Australian professionals spend at least 20 hours a week thinking about their job when they should be relaxing, and less than half take their entitled annual leave.
    The Art of Loving & Living
    The joy of living is in loving. No doubt, only lovers enjoy life!Live every moment of your life as a love-live affair and create a win-win situation for yourself.
    Your Gut Instincts & Ability to Get Along Quiz
    How well do you understand how gut instincts - yours and others - influence likeability, decision making and even attention span? Want to find out? Here are nine questions. Some answers may surprise you.
    Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval
    Ever had a time in your life when those closest to youdisapproved of your behavior? It is very uncomfortable is it not?In a moment, peace of mind can vanish in a puff of smoke and youcrave approval more than anything else. This time in thewilderness seems to last forever and when it is finally over thenewly earned approval of your peers feels just great.
    Achieving Your Highest Potential: The Journey Begins With Self Awareness
    We live in a world filled with beliefs, values, and negative paradigms. We all grew up with defined set of family and cultural values; where we were raised to believe that what our parents and relatives said about us and our capabilities was "truth".
    10 Common Money And Success Myths - Part 1
    For the longest time, people believed that the earth was flat and that if you traveled all the way to the end, you would fall off! People were trapped; they were stuck in a world that reached out only as far as they could see - a world much, much smaller than the actual size of earth. They were stuck not because that was all that they had available to them, but because that's all they "believed" they had.
    Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing!
    I wish you never have to go through that kind of pain!Last week, I was on the breath-taking island of Puerto Rico at a resort on the beach enjoying the crashing waves of the ocean and the cool breeze. If you don't know by now, I am an observer.
    Is Effortless Prosperity Really Possible?
    Dear friends,Whenever I read the words "effortless prosperity" a chain reaction of thoughts immediately starts in my mind. I ask myself these questions.