Amazing Techniques to Communicate With Your Man and They Will Not Even Know That You Are Doing It.

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood," recommends Stephen Covey (1990). He, and many others, believe this precept is paramount in interpersonal relations. To interact effectively with anyone--teachers, students, community members, even family members--you need first to understand where the person is "coming from."

We communicate any time we share meaning. While communication often involves words, they are not required. For example, when mom and dad tiptoe into their sleeping child's room, admire the sleeping one, and smile at each other, they have communicated even without saying a word. Or when one partner provides the other an admiring glance or gentle touch, there has been communication.

When people roll their eyes, hug, walk away, blow a kiss, huff, smile, clench their teeth, hold hands or shake their heads, they communicate. Early in a romantic relationship we generally talk often and listen wholeheartedly. We also tend to hug, hold hands and show lots of affection. Later in that relationship we sometimes use communication only for business or disagreements. That is unfortunate.
One of the best uses of communication may be for people to share the simple events of the day. The topics of discussion should not be sources of disagreement. Each person can tell about joys and frustrations in the day. Each should listen to what the other has to say and try to appreciate what those events meant to their partner. A few minutes of mere chatting can strengthen a relationship.

Listen Carefully
We never fully get someone else's meaning. But it builds the relationship when we listen and try to understand what the other person is feeling. We can ask questions. We can listen carefully. We can describe what we think our partner is feeling.
Some things don't need to be said. It may be completely true that your partner has a funny nose or thinning hair. But talking about it may only hurt feelings. Wise communication requires that some things simply don't get said. Some things don't even need to be thought about.

Talks about difficult issues should be conducted when both parties are feeling good. When a couple tries to tackle their most difficult issues at a time when one or both are tired and angry, the result is almost certain to be destructive. A discussion can turn into a battle.
Sharing a cheerful request is more likely to build the relationship - and get a positive response - than making an angry accusation.


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