Entrepreneur! Know Your REAL Friends - Accepting Help Indiscriminately Could Get You Exploited!


By Tayo Solagbade

Lesson On The Use Of Deception In Business Strategy(From A Movie - And An Ancient Book)

If you don't mind I'd like to start this piece with a narrative of the closing stages of an interesting movie I once watched titled TROY. If you do mind, then skip to the next section, as I believe I've put in enough from there to still convey most of my intended message :-).

It was intriguing to watch a scene in the movie, where the Greek warriors, led by their famous fighting machine character "Achilles", exploited the somewhat fatalistic and excessively religious mentality of the Trojans. They did this by placing a gigantic wooden gift horse surrounded by corpses of Greek soldiers who looked like they had been afflicted by a strange illness on an open field where it would be easily found by the Trojans. When the Trojan King and his priests saw it, they readily interpreted it(as the Greeks had hoped they would) to mean their gods were at last fighting for them by visiting the strange illness on the Greeks. They believed that was why the Greeks had sent in the gift horse as an offering to appease the gods of the Trojans.

Ignoring the protests of a few - including their king's son, who proposed that the gift be burned(Achilles and his guys who were hiding inside the giant horse-gift must have been terrified to hear that!) - the Trojans had the gift horse dragged through their hitherto impregnable city gates(which had kept attackers like the Greeks out for years), right into the city center. The people then danced late into the night celebrating the "apparent" surrender" of the Trojans.

Hmm, how ironic. What they did not know was that the Trojans knew them so well, that they had expected this kind of reaction, and had played on it deliberately, to get behind the famed walls. Late in the night, long after the celebrations had ended and all the people had gone back to their homes to sleep, the Greek soldiers hidden in the giant wooden horse gift began to emerge. Within minutes, they began taking out the guards, and killing any other Trojans they met along the way. In no time, they had opened the city gates, and let their waiting compatriots in. The great city of Troy fell - VERY badly.

So, what really happened to cause this tragedy? The Trojans acted naively. They too readily assumed that their "pagan" enemies who had traveled a great distance to fight them had succumbed to the power of the gods of Troy. They let what they felt - and wanted badly to see/hear - cloud their judgment of what was BEFORE them. At the point when they contemplated what to do with the gift horse, even the most competent among them lost hold of his critical thinking skills, and succumbed instead to wishful thinking encouraged by overzealous priests.

The Greeks had done the opposite. They had studied their enemies well. They knew their strengths(from many unsuccessful attempts at trying to force their way into the city), and took pains to discover their weaknesses. They then put together a plan to exploit the latter, in order to achieve their aims. In my opinion, the foregoing is an excellent example of the application, by the Greeks, of the principles described in a book titled "The Art of War" (regarded as a classic work on strategy in warfare) written by Sun Tzu, an ancient Chinese General reputed to have been extremely successful in war.

Consider the quote below, from that book:

“Therefore, when capable, feign incapacity: when active, inactivity. When near, make it appear you are far away when far away, that you are near….I make my enemy see my strengths as weaknesses and my weaknesses as strengths while I cause his strengths to become weaknesses and discover where he is not strong…I conceal my tracks so that none can discern them; I keep silence so that none can hear me” – Sun Tzu, in “The Art Of War”

Incidentally Mark R. McNeilly in his book “Sun Tzu and the Art Of Business – Six strategic principles for managers” translated the strategic concepts from the original book by Sun Tzu – into successful business strategies. In his book, McNeilly describes the principle of Deception and Foreknowledge (along with five others) as crucially important for achieving success in business.

Among other things, he explained that if you wish to get ahead of your business competition, you must do a very deep level of research and analysis. Something like that done by the Greeks in the movie I just described. I would add that this means you have to study them well enough to understand HOW THEY THINK, and WHAT makes them do the things they do, the way they do them. By so doing, you will not only be equipped to anticipate their next moves, BUT you will also know what moves YOU can make that they will be UN-prepared for, and will therefore be unable to respond to.

In effect you would know how to get - and stay - ahead of them.

Sometimes A "Good Thing"(E.g A FREE Gift) May Not Be Good For You

If you are in the habit of accepting unsolicited offers of help or support from just about anyone who makes them, you can set yourself up to be ripped-off or exploited causing needless suffering/setbacks. When you first begin your business, you will likely be often short on cash. Those periods might force you to have to depend on others.

Sometimes, people will offer to help by giving you money, but James Cook and others advice that to succeed, you will eventually have to “turn your back on handouts” and offers of charity from those who try to feel sorry for you. Don’t let them – you don’t need that. Instead borrow money/accept help, in exchange for a part of something you own e.g a stake in your business etc. If you took the right decision about starting your business in the first place, you are not likely to regret it subsequently. If you won’t regret it, why should you let someone feel bad on your behalf?

It can get quite difficult to keep this up however, especially with the lack of money biting away at your subconscious. But, if you are a student of success, you should by now know that it is challenges of this nature that WILL make you strong.

Adversity Can Help You Discover Who Your REAL Friends Are(NOT)!

Let me tell you one good reason why you should be grateful for adversity of this kind e.g. lack of money. It helps you find out who your real friends are(and/or ARE NOT). Adversity for a business startup/owner can often come in the form of LACK - be it of money or access to other need resources. Money issues in particular have always caused problems between people who had otherwise excellent relationships.

That's why I always say this: For any two people(including husband and wife) to really prove they understand themselves thoroughly, let them demonstrate THAT understanding repeatedly and consistently in relation to money issues.

When your “friend” suddenly sees that you no longer seem to (note that I said “seem to”) have that spark in your eyes, that confidence with which you spoke six months earlier about your business, how does s/he behave? Does s/he still keep extending support to you – financially or otherwise? Or does s/he suddenly start telling you s/he is busy; hardly returns your phone calls, “talks down” to you before others etc?

What Do You Do With The "REAL" Friend(s) That You Discover?

But what if the person DOES keep on giving you the support or assistance as and when the need arises? Do you just keep accepting it as it comes? My experiences have taught me the answer to that question is a VERY BIG "NO"! You cannot afford to simply assume that anyone would do that much for nothing. It would be unwise to even accept such. The truth is that not everyone can be that selfless! There is VERY likely to be something that person is looking to get, for helping out so much - and it may not necessarily be money. So you’d better find out quickly, and ensure you’re willing to give whatever it turns out to be. If you find you cannot give it, then you can quickly stop him/her before letting things go too far.

Let me repeat myself. It is in your best interest to quickly ascertain a person’s motives for helping you if they ever come your way – else you might regret not doing so, much later. No matter how well you think you know people, you can never know them well enough. I have found that human beings are always able to surprise themselves again and again. This can be especially true where money issues are concerned!

There was a Power Point slide show presentation circulated on the Internet some years ago that found its way into my outlook e-mail box in my last workplace. It was a kind of parable about life. There is one particular phrase I took away from it which goes something like this: “Not everyone that puts dirt on your head is your enemy, and not everyone that takes the dirt off your head, is your friend”.

With reference to that parable, I will say that you may want to always watch out for the tell tale signs of people who try to use you. Some come close to you, if they think you look like you might soon get a breakthrough – they want to be around at that time, so they can claim to have been there for you(and therefore share the spotlight/moment of glory). Others are hoping that by helping you, you will remember them when you get to the “top”, and open doors for them in return. Again, that is if they feel you could do very well. In such instances, they “stick around”. But soon as they get what they consider strong signals that things might not turn out the way they expected, for you, their dispositions change. Always be ready for such, and take it in your stride.

Summary

The foregoing points should be in your mind when you want to take that decision to accept the offer your “friend” or “relative” has made that you save your money by moving into his/her house for instance. At the initial stages, it might seem like a good idea, and could even be fun. But, you cannot often be sure of what an individual’s temperament will be when faced with the reality of the fact that you have at a point become something of a liability(I refer here to the possibility of tough times in your business startup lasting longer that you anticipated).

Things can get a bit nasty when the rough patches come. If the person you accepted to stay with, is not one who really believed in what you were doing from the beginning, then you will notice a change from his/her “body language”. If unfortunately you are not in a position to - for instance - move elsewhere, you will then have to accept some not-too-friendly treatment from your "friend" till you can! That's not likely to help you maintain the preferred positive mental attitude needed to get you through the difficult periods. So, be careful how you accept seemingly harmless offers of assistance, or you might end up getting into BIGGER trouble, than the one you needed help to GET OUT OF in the first place!

Self-Development/Performance Enhancement Specialist – Tayo Solagbade - devotes his time to exploring new frontiers of Self-Development Education, especially as it relates to showing people what they can do by themselves, for themselves to achieve their set goals - DESPITE the limitations of their circumstances or environment.

To get more FREE Performance Enhancement Articles/Ebooks, visit his website at http://www.spontaneousdevelopment.com.


More Resources


Its Good to Know Your Banker
Recently my bank opened a new branch that is a few miles away from my house. I used to visit the local branch that was located in the grocery store and enjoyed seeing the ladies on a weekly basis who were the tellers.
Should You Write Your Own Business Plan?
If you are just starting a company and looking for funding, or looking for additional funding for growth, you will need to develop a traditional business plan. Creating a business plan is a business hurdle that entrepreneurs seem to dread.
Creativity & Entrepreneurship - Key Questions From My Students
Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!Thought for the day:"It is not easy being an entrepreneur, but it is always rewarding. It takes great discipline, self-motivation, hard work and perseverance to achieve your dream.
Health Insurance for Solo Entrepreneurs
One of the most important benefits employed people enjoy is health insurance coverage. It is also the single most costly expense for self-employed entrepreneurs.
Empathy - Not Business Plans - Key to Your Home Based Business Success - Do You Have Empathy?
EMPATHY is a Natural Talent, you were born with it and you will never loose it. It can be a blessing or a curse in a home based business.
Venture Capital Negotiating Issues
When companies enter into negotiations with venture capital firms, there are several issues which need to be defined and agreed upon. This article describes the key issues.
PTO; Justification of the Means and the Ends
Some would say about certain issues that the means do not justify the ends. Well more often the ends do not justify the means.
Good Questions, good Answers; Bad Questions, Bad Replies
I'm convinced that asking the right questions is one of the most important skills you need to become a successful business person. Questions have the power to direct you or to distort you.
Rambling Confessions of a Recovering Entrepreneur
I told my family that I finally accepted that my passion had become an ob- session, and you could even call it an addiction. They all laughed.
Online Women Entrepreneurs Need To Pace Themselves
Saving time means pacing yourself, being organized, and always prioritizing your duties, responsibilities and efforts.Pacing yourself means allowing time for unexpected situations, such as having enough time to check the ever-growing inbox, setting-up special autoresponders for automatic responses (a miraculous tool?really), and other technical issues of running an interactive website and blog.
Realism vs. Optimism in the Business Plan
The most important function of a business plan is to create interest among investors so that they write a check. In achieving this goal, business plan writers are often challenged by determining the proper level of optimism in their plan.
7 Lean Marketing Laws For The Inspired Entrepreneur
The following laws will provide guidance on how to act,think and work in a lean way. You can apply these laws toall areas of your life, work and business to get biggerresults from the time you invest.
How To Start a New Business
While it is tempting to just leap into a new business because of it's exciting possibilities, a few key planning points will vastly increase your chances of success. These steps aren't difficult, but they're easy to skip.
Evaluating an Opportunity
Business opportunities are often based on broad trends, such as:? demographic, such as the "graying" of America (creating opportunities in health services, for example);? sociological developments, like the "green" movement, with its emphasis on recycling and environmental sensitivity, and;? cultural changes caused by changing economic conditions and technological developments.Opportunities can also frequently be found in current and developing business trends such as:? the globalization of business,? the need for outsourcing created by downsizing, and? the burgeoning service economy.
Interview with Best-selling Entrepreneurial Authors Barbara Winters and Nick Williams
Ray Bradbury's quote, "You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down" may sound extreme but, as anyone building a business knows, it has a lot of truth in it.As a newly self-employed journalist / writer and life coach, I found Barbara Winter's book, "Making a Living Without a Job" invaluable so when I got a chance to interview her and Nick Williams in London, I was delighted.
Starting a Company on a Shoe-String Budget
A lot of people never start businesses because they believe they don't have enough money to do so. Unfortunately, these same people don't realize that many of the world's most successful companies were started on a shoe-string budget by an entrepreneur with limited resources.
Questions For The Entrepreneur To Be
Entrepreneurial e-gnorancePart 1: Questions for the entrepreneur to beIf you are an entrepreneur starting out, or have been around the block for some time but are yet to hit on the jackpot, you might be missing out some of the cornerstones of doing busingg through the new age media, the internet. Ask yourself the following questions and in seeking out answers to the, you may find the magic touch that could propel you to the success that drives you everyday.
Entrepreneurial Business Plan The Down And Dirty Way
Does the idea of running your own business sound exciting? Do you have a business up and running and want to take it to the next level?After coaching hundreds of entrepreneurs at various stages of their evolution, I've found that the answers to these 5 questions can make or break any endeavor. Of course there are lots of other areas that must be addressed, however these will get you moving in the right direction quickly.
Increasing Business BIGTIME with a Successful Referral System
What I've discovered from most of my small business clients is that most would prefer to build their business through referrals rather than through direct mail, advertising in newspapers, radio, TV. However, most leave the referrals to a somewhat chaotic, unplanned approach.
Drive Website Traffic Unconventionally, Force Your Children To Do It
If you believe that every little bit helps then keepreading..

More Entrepreneurialism Information:

Related Articles


Is Running a Business for You?
Not everyone is cut out to run a business. Not everyone is cut out to be an entrepreneur.
Top Ten Ways to Increase Your Profitability
1) Go back to basics.Take a couple of steps back and address the fundamental facts or principles of your business.
An Entrepreneurs Challenge
Living in the twilight zone has its advantages. In the early days of starting my business, I found the limitations of living in a rural area to be restrictive.
Creativity & Entrepreneurship: The Secret to Discovering Your Purpose in Life!©
Hello Creative Entrepreneurs!In the second course on Creativity & Entrepreneurship we begin with a guided meditation that I created entitled: Dream Keeper-Gift Giver©. You ask: what in the world does this mean? Well, it's a very profound secret I discovered about myself fifteen years ago.
Franchises - Emotional Fulfillment - The Challenge
Does A Franchise Meet Your Needs?Do you look forward to Friday afternoon or Monday morning? Perhaps that's the true litmus test of happiness. If you're thinking about the fact that there's only one day to go before the weekend, when you just got back from lunch on Wednesday, it may be time for a change.
Street Smarts Vs Book Smarts, What Does It Takes To Be An Entrepreneur
The latest series in "The Apprentice" features 2 distinct groupof candidates. One group, who are only high school graduates aretermed as "Street Smarts" by Donald Trump whereas, the othergroup are all college educated with some having MBAs and advanceddegrees.
Double Down on Marketing
If you want to compete in the world of high growth startups, you better know how to play the marketing game. Marketing has become a big stakes game where companies are betting fortunes on the success of their products.
Business Start Up Tips From Some Hearty Entrepreneurs
When's the last time someone asked you: "What's new?"If you're starting or growing a business, an e-business, or a web site, the answer is: "Everything!" - especially on the inside.Face it, launching a new enterprise - or taking it to the next level - can sometimes feel scary and overwhelming.
The Business and Life You Want to Build
In the early days of my first consulting business, I knew I needed some sort of plan to give me the greatest chance at success. I took many a wrong step, yet in the end I managed to put a solid business together.
Leadership Attributes for Business Success
Business success is essentially the result of successful leadership. Contrary to the popular myth, leaders are not just born.
The Danger Of Hate
As you have shown an interest in starting a business of your own it would be safe to assume that you want to changeyour life. You want more money - more control over yourlife - more respect.
The Six "F" Words Every Entrepreneur Should Know
Start your own business, and soon enough, you find yourself in a situation where there are many things you want to say, all of them unprintable.It happens to every entrepreneur - a moment of extreme challenge that causes you to wonder why you started the (expletive) business in the first place.
Goals and New Venture Creation
More and more corporate workers are leaving their jobs to start new ventures. When taking this leap, it is important that the goals of these entrepreneurs are solid, as these goals may ultimately determine the success of the new venture.
Solo Mojo for Solo Entrepreneurs --- Where's Your Juice?
I recently read a magazine article about Andrew, a 42-year old businessman. He gave up a demanding law practice in the Northeast, moved South to launch a new furniture and interior-design store, and wrote his first fiction novel in the midst of that transition.
How To Grow Your Micro-Business
If you want to grow your micro-business (defined as a business with fewer than five employees), you mightconsider some of the findings of a survey by Statistics Canada.1.
Three Cs - What Startups Need to Get a Business Loan, Part 1
You want to get a good, solid overview of what it takes to acquire that business loan you need, especially if you are a startup. The essential element of what the lenders out there require of you can be wrapped up in the acronym, C.
Dream It, Create It, Become It! Design a Dream Board
Have you ever heard of "Dream Boards" or "Treasure Maps"? A Dream Board is a visual picture of the dreams you have for your life. Some of my clients also use this concept to visualize their businesses! It's their first business plan.
The Term Sheet's Role in Raising Venture Capital
Entrepreneurs and companies who are seeking venture capital often negotiate with one or more venture capital firms on a number of important issues. These issues include the amount of capital to be raised, the investment terms, etc.
The Cockroach Test
Let me ask you a question? Imagine I would offer you $10 for eating 10 living cockroaches. Would you do it? Now listen, I raise the ante and offer you $100.
5 TIPS for Home-Based Business Entrepreneurs
Have you ever heard that only a small part (5%) of 'all' Home-Based Business entrepreneurs achieve success?Do an online research on your favorite Search Engineand you will understand what I mean.In this article I'm going to show you the KEY to Home-Based Business entrepreneurs success; you'll find out what makes an entrepreneur succesful in the home-based business field.