How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course of any given day. We could be Mom, Boss, Employee, Student or Friend, to name just a few. Very often we identify ourselves by those roles. When asked, "Who are you/" we say, "I'm a wife and mother", "I am a doctor and amateur photographer". We identify ourselves by how the world sees us, not by who we really are.

Our authentic self is who we really are, deep at the core of our being. Our authentic self is not who the world labels us to be. The authentic self is driven by our individual values and our specific needs.

In order to learn to be our authentic self, we must first discover our authentic self. To discover is to learn of the existence of something. Self-discovery is learning of the existence of our core values and needs.

Discovery is not a one step process. Although there are many "a-ha" moments in discovery, there is a lot of hard work that must be done before and after experiencing those "a-ha" moments in order to incorporate that discovery into our daily lives. Once we say "a-ha" I really value adventure and creativity and I really need support and tenderness, it is time to incorporate those values and needs into our daily lives.

While most of us would date the discovery of penicillin to the early 1940's, the first "a-ha" moment came much earlier. Sir Alexander Fleming discovered that the mold growing on his unwashed culture plates was repelling the bacteria surrounding it in 1928. It was not until 1940 that Ernst B.Chain and Sir Howard Florey first tested penicillin on animals. And it was not until 1941 that pharmaceutical companiesin the United States started penicillin production, a long road to the discovery of penicillin.

Self-discovery is also a long road. In truth, we can continue to discover ourselves throughout our lives. But, we have to work at it. We have to look deep into our core to find our inherent values and needs.

Think about what values motivate your daily life. In any community there are shared values. These might be honesty, integrity, respect, and helpfulness. You might share these values with colleagues, friends and family. In addition to these shared values you will have values that are specific to you as an individual.

Your individual values might be, to contribute, to discover, to teach and to create. These values are specific to you and are what propel you to become who you are. You are more likely to be drawn to work in the arts if your core values consist of creativity, originality, discovery and beauty. By the same token, you would be more likely to become a teacher if your core values consist of guiding, inspiring, learning and informing.

The other factor to be considered in becoming our authentic self is the needs that drive us emotionally. We can not be our authentic self without having those needs met.

You might have the need to be empathetic in your relationships, or to experience adventure. Perhaps your need is to be really connected to your family or community. These needs go beyond the shared human needs of food, shelter and safety.

We often confuse wants with needs. To want something is to desire it. We may want a bigger house, newer car or financial independence. We can achieve those desires and still have core needs that are unmet. We have all heard the saying " Money doesn't buy happiness". The truth in that adage is that "money" is an external want not an internal need. When our internal needs are not met, it matters notwhat external gains we accomplish, we are left un-fulfilled.

If we don't live by our core values we are in essence creating core needs. For instance, if we have discovered that our core values consist of things like, creativity, originality and imagination and yetwe work and live in an environment with no room for original thinking and conceptualization, , we are not being our authentic selves. In turn we are creating the unmet needs of creativity, originality and imagination.

So, in order to be our authentic self we must embrace the path of self-discovery. We must look deep within our being and discover our core values and needs. We then must choose our goals and our path in life based on those core values and needs.

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Developing Will Power and Self Discipline
Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won great success by manifesting will power and self discipline. They admire people, who with sheer will power, self discipline and ambition, have improved their life, learned new skills, overcame difficulties and hardships, reduced their weight, rose high in their chosen field or advanced on the spiritual path.
Fear of Intimacy
Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity.
Building a Strong Coaching Practice
As a person who has been around the coaching profession for a number of years, I wish I could say that my practice is full right now. But the fact is that I've been pursuing TV gigs in the last few years and haven't put much emphasis on building my individual coaching practice.
Im Gonna Die MY Way
My wife says I have the strangest taste in movies. You see, there are movies I can watch again and again, which she couldn't sit through once.
Mind the Gap
The underground train in London can get you anywhere when you know how to maneuver all the options. Like our subways, London under ground is a busy place.
The Value of Career Coaching and Its Effect on Productivity
Athletes the world over have coaches. Yet, workers whose very livelihood depends on their ability to perform well on the job are often unaware of the merits of a career coach.
Do You Ever Give Up Coaching Employees?
In principle, we don't want to give up coaching employees. We want to believe that we can eventually make a difference.
How to Get More Business Without Even Trying
Why are you in business? Hopefully you enjoy what you do, however is it because you want to make money so that you can have, be and do more in your life?Who pays you? Your clients do and never forget that. Unfortunately many people do.
Choosing The Right Coach
Coaching has become a very popular way for people to get the ongoing support they need to accomplish their goals. However, choosing a coach can be tricky.
What Is A Personal Trainer
Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets.
Is Your Life Coach Manipulating You? Five Signs to Watch For
Did you hire a "life coach" to help you sort out your complicated existence? The coach is a growing occupational choice for folks who feel the call to lead others who may feel overwhelmed or wish for personal fulfillment but don't know where to begin.As someone who belongs to entrepreneur networks, I've come across quite a few life coaches.
12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?Here's why..
4 Underused Hot Spots for Your Personal Branding Iron
I'll never forget what my mentor told me: "Don't communicate in any way to any person without the stamp of your personal brand."Everyone has a personal brand, whether they know it or not.
How To Improve Your Selling Skills -- With Coaching Skills
But people love being coached. It's respectful and considerate of their needs.
Choosing The Perfect Coach
So, you're ready to start coaching. You either have some issues that you think a coach can help you overcome, or you just think it's time for a quality of life tune-up.
Coaching for Physicians
Is Having a Professional Coach a Solution to Optimizing your Practice's Performance? "What do you do?"The proverbial question we get asked day in and day out by strangers, acquaintances, family, and friends. We are conditioned to answer with our current job or career.
What Do You Have To Give?
"Happiness is not a matter of good fortune or worldly possessions. It's a mental attitude.
Coaching Skills Does Matter At Chick-fil-A
In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil Orazi, Dean of Chick-fil-A University and Scott Mayson, Business Consultant with Chick-fil-A in Atlanta, Georgia.Q - What is the role of an Operator at Chick-fil-A, and what are some of the challenges that an Operator faces?Phil - Operators are selected and are independent contractors for Chick-fil-A.
How Does Sports Coaching Differ from Corporate Coaching?
Athletes Versus EmployeesMost athletes are young, open to improvement, eager to learn and anxious to receive what a coach can provide. For the athlete, there is a defined season and something tangible to compete for.
Corporate Coaching - Why Coach? C(5)+ED
Is it possible to make a strong "business case for corporate coaching?" Why is coaching vital to organizations? Why should leaders invest time developing their coaching skills? These are tough, important questions that organizations should consider before implementing coaching.The need for corporate coaching certainly depends on the situation.