How to be Your Authentic Self

Most of us play many different roles in the course of any given day. We could be Mom, Boss, Employee, Student or Friend, to name just a few. Very often we identify ourselves by those roles. When asked, "Who are you/" we say, "I'm a wife and mother", "I am a doctor and amateur photographer". We identify ourselves by how the world sees us, not by who we really are.

Our authentic self is who we really are, deep at the core of our being. Our authentic self is not who the world labels us to be. The authentic self is driven by our individual values and our specific needs.

In order to learn to be our authentic self, we must first discover our authentic self. To discover is to learn of the existence of something. Self-discovery is learning of the existence of our core values and needs.

Discovery is not a one step process. Although there are many "a-ha" moments in discovery, there is a lot of hard work that must be done before and after experiencing those "a-ha" moments in order to incorporate that discovery into our daily lives. Once we say "a-ha" I really value adventure and creativity and I really need support and tenderness, it is time to incorporate those values and needs into our daily lives.

While most of us would date the discovery of penicillin to the early 1940's, the first "a-ha" moment came much earlier. Sir Alexander Fleming discovered that the mold growing on his unwashed culture plates was repelling the bacteria surrounding it in 1928. It was not until 1940 that Ernst B.Chain and Sir Howard Florey first tested penicillin on animals. And it was not until 1941 that pharmaceutical companiesin the United States started penicillin production, a long road to the discovery of penicillin.

Self-discovery is also a long road. In truth, we can continue to discover ourselves throughout our lives. But, we have to work at it. We have to look deep into our core to find our inherent values and needs.

Think about what values motivate your daily life. In any community there are shared values. These might be honesty, integrity, respect, and helpfulness. You might share these values with colleagues, friends and family. In addition to these shared values you will have values that are specific to you as an individual.

Your individual values might be, to contribute, to discover, to teach and to create. These values are specific to you and are what propel you to become who you are. You are more likely to be drawn to work in the arts if your core values consist of creativity, originality, discovery and beauty. By the same token, you would be more likely to become a teacher if your core values consist of guiding, inspiring, learning and informing.

The other factor to be considered in becoming our authentic self is the needs that drive us emotionally. We can not be our authentic self without having those needs met.

You might have the need to be empathetic in your relationships, or to experience adventure. Perhaps your need is to be really connected to your family or community. These needs go beyond the shared human needs of food, shelter and safety.

We often confuse wants with needs. To want something is to desire it. We may want a bigger house, newer car or financial independence. We can achieve those desires and still have core needs that are unmet. We have all heard the saying " Money doesn't buy happiness". The truth in that adage is that "money" is an external want not an internal need. When our internal needs are not met, it matters notwhat external gains we accomplish, we are left un-fulfilled.

If we don't live by our core values we are in essence creating core needs. For instance, if we have discovered that our core values consist of things like, creativity, originality and imagination and yetwe work and live in an environment with no room for original thinking and conceptualization, , we are not being our authentic selves. In turn we are creating the unmet needs of creativity, originality and imagination.

So, in order to be our authentic self we must embrace the path of self-discovery. We must look deep within our being and discover our core values and needs. We then must choose our goals and our path in life based on those core values and needs.

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

You Are Never Trapped!
"The meaning of life is that it stops." -Franz Kafka (1883-1924)A good friend of mine graduated from Boston University Law School.
Do You Really Need A Home Business Mentor?
Having a mentor can mean the difference between success and failure if you want to have a successful Internet home business.Many of you have dreamed of owning your own Internet business, and have probably been involved in countless opportunities, and succeeded at none.
Recreating Yourself
So it's time for a change. You've taken that hard look in the mirror and you've decided that who you are is not who you want to be.
Dealing Effectively with Midlife Issues
In this article we would like to help you explore the challenges and opportunities that come at midlife. You will have an opportunity to take a look at issues that are specific to the Baby Boomer generation.
Executive Coaching - Finding a Coach and Understanding the Process
Nobody in business can fail to have noticed the recent rise in the number of coaches and consultants offering their services. But how do you go about finding a coach who will give you a return on your investment? Executive coaching might be an option for you if you are running your own business or are in an employed management role, and have aspirations to achieve more.
Expectations Can Get In Our Way
There are times when we truly look forward to something just as there are times when we totally dread something. What is the difference between anticipation with joy and anticipation with anxiety? Where and how does that expectation actually take place? If we think about it, the expectations take place in our minds.
Top Ways to Maximize Your Talents at Work
Are you maximizing your strengths and promoting your talents at work? If you have sharp analytical skills, have you sought to apply those skills to your current job? I know it sounds crazy to ask for more work when you are already overloaded, but any assistance that you can provide now will ultimately help you advance in your present position or in a future one.You have gifts and talents to offer the world.
Be A Champion Communicator by Becoming a Chameleon
Recently, I worked with a client who was having a problem with some of the women in her organization. The organization had just undergone major changes, which resulted in different reporting relationships for many of the women.
Executive Coaching and Effective Learning
We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over.
Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...
Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk.
The Pitfalls of Procrastination
We all put off making decisions and taking action sometimes (yes, me too). It's okay to do that occasionally but if you are a regular pontificator then it will constantly cause you pain, even if you aren't aware of it.
Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.The time-honored approach to disappointment generally involves a fair amount of wallowing followed by a concerted effort to move on.
Corporate Coaching and Employees: One Step Ahead
"Don't shoot..
The Right Coach
Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend of mine was recently at a Mark Victor Hansen and Robert Allen workshop. They were promoting their Enlightened Millionaire Program.
Happiness and Work: Your Life Depends On It.
Early one morning, Robert awoke, made his wife of 41 years some banana bread, took out the garbage and called to cancel a doctors appointment scheduled for the next day. He wrote a note to remind his wife to pick up the dry cleaning.
If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your Approach
And ironically the more we worry about it, the more tense we getand the more likely we are to say something stupid.Let us a take a look at some remedies:1 Learn to relax when you feel under pressure.
Do You Mind If Someone Screams At You?
A headhunter was on the other end of the phone. He was looking for an assistant to a CEO/Owner for a small, but very successful business.
After July 8, Pay This Amount
You undoubtedly go through this, too. A few times a month you gather up the bills coming due and write checks or pay them online.
How Do You Build Momentum in Your Business and Life?
A few weeks ago at a "Leadership from the Ground Up" conference, Donald Trump spoke about the ingredients for success. I found his topic on momentum very intriguing.
7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People
WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do. NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.