Personal Power

All of us would love to have personal power - the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack.

Our society often confuses personal power - "power within" - with "power over," which is about controlling others. There is a vast difference between personal power and control.

Personal power comes from an inner sense of security, from knowing who you are in your soul, from having defined your own intrinsic worth. It is the power that flows through you when you are connected to and feel your oneness with a spiritual source of guidance. It is the power that is the eventual result of doing deep inner emotional and spiritual work to heal the fears and false beliefs acquired in childhood.

Without this inner work to heal the beliefs that create our limitations, we are stuck in our egos, our wounded selves. The very basis of the ego is the desire for control, for power over others and outcomes.

Our ego is the self we created to attempt to have control over getting love, avoiding pain, and feeling safe. We created our ego self in our attempt to protect ourselves from the losses we fear - loss of self, loss of other, loss of security, loss of face. As children, when we didn't get the love we needed, we decided that our true Self must be unlovable. In our attempt to feel safe, we buried our true Self and created the false self - the ego, our wounded self. The ego self then went about learning how to feel safe through trying to control others and outcomes. The ego believes that having control over how people see us and feel about us, as well as over the outcome of things, will give us the safety we seek.

Even if you do manage to have some control through anger, criticism, judgment, or money, this will never give you personal power. This will never fill you with peace and joy and an inner sense of safety. Control may give you a momentary sense of safety, but it will never give you the deep sense of safety that comes from knowing your intrinsic worth, the worth of your soul. As long as your safety and worth are being defined by externals which can be temporary - your money, your looks, your performance, your power over others - you will feel anxious. We feel anxious when we attach our worth and happiness to temporal things rather than to eternal qualities, such as caring, compassion, and kindness.

For example, Walter is a man who has tremendous power over others but no personal power. Walter has made millions as the president of a large investment company. He has a lovely wife, three grown children, and two beautiful homes. Yet Walter is often anxious. He worries about losing his money. He is easily triggered into anger when things don't go his way and people don't behave in the way he wants. Because his heart is not open, he is a lonely man.

Walter operates totally out of his ego self, believing that having control through anger and money will bring him the happiness and safety he seeks. Yet he has achieved everything he believed would bring him happiness and safety and what he feels most of the time is anxious and lonely. Walter is empty inside. He has no sense of his true Self, no sense of the beauty within him, no sense of his lovability and intrinsic worth. His life is based on externals rather then on the spiritual values of love, compassion, honesty and kindness.

Personal power comes from embracing spiritual values rather than just earthly values. It comes from making love, kindness and compassion - toward oneself and others - more important than power over others. It comes from doing the inner work necessary to allow the soul to have dominion over the body, rather than allowing the animal instincts of fight or flight - the instincts of the body - to have dominion over our choices. When the soul has dominion over the body, you have the power to manifest your dreams, to stay centered in the face of attack, to remain loving in the face of fear. When the soul has dominion over the body, you have tremendous personal power.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now!

Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

12 Reasons to Develop Exceptional People Skills
Why should you bother to spend your valuable time learning how to develop exceptional people skills?Here's why..
Executive Coaching and Effective Learning
We've all been through training events-workshops, seminars, and courses that didn't affect our behavior as much as we would have preferred. And while each provides valuable information and tools for increased productivity, most of us also understand what happens after the workshop is over.
Empowering Vision
Playing Our Part:Sir Michael Costa was conducting a rehearsal, in which the orchestra was joined in a great chorus. About half way through the session, with the trumpets blaring, drums rolling, and violins singing their rich melody, the Piccolo player muttered to himself, "What good am I doing? I might as well not be playing.
The Role of Grief Group Facilitators
Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and support groups are for individuals who have an interest in the grief process.
Be The One With Something Interesting To Say
How Do You Learn Something New?If you could learn fast and effectively, you might become the person with something interesting to say on any topic. It could also help in your carreer or business.
Could You Be A Workaholic?
If you need to put on boots and grab a lap-top computer to relieve yourself at night, you might be a redneck workaholic.It never crossed my mind that there could be such a thing as a redneck workaholic, until I read a column on "Are you a workaholic?""Did you read this?" I asked my wife.
What is Life Coaching?
An recent article in Money Magazine said that "A coach may be the guardian angel you need to rev up your career." In fact, if you pick up any major newspaper or magazine, you are bound to come across a glowing article on coaching.
Make a Decision and Take Action!
How are you progressing with the goals you set yourself this year?Have you made a start? Or are you still thinking about it or caught the very popular "I'm too busy" epidemic?Mary's StoryMary runs her own publishing company employing 5 people. She is married with two teenagers.
Handling Disappointment
Disappointment is an inevitable part of home-based business. Clients won't pay, bids fall through, or business associates don't come through on their promises or act unethically.
Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep!
Are you one of the millions of people who make big New Year's Resolutions each year, only to watch those resolutions fall by the wayside mere days or weeks later? Would you like to be able to set New Year's Resolutions that you can actually keep? It might be easier than you think!Choose your resolutions carefully. These should be things that you really want and are ready to work on, not just things that you think you should work on.
Take a Chance, Win a Prize
I think that we're all probably familiar with the fairground rant 'take a chance, win a prize'. Whenever I hear this call to action, I immediately break out into a cold sweat.
How to Deal Effectively with Anxiety
Every human feels anxiety on occasion; it is a part of life. All of us know what it is like to feel worry, nervousness, fear, and concern.
3 Tips for a Great Summer - Developing Life & Business While Having a Blast
As the last day of school arrives I feel the same tendency I had as a child..
The Art of Change
We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find a lot of opinionated opposition if it implied a lack of growth, whether that be on a knowledgeable level, a logical or spiritual one, but in this case we refer to ourselves and who we are in relation to who we were when we decided to grace this world with our presence.
Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs
I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it with you. It goes something like this:Once upon a time.
Home For The Holidays
In my husband's family, family members send Christmas cards to other family members (parents to children, brothers and sisters to one another, etc.) even though the family always spends time together at Christmas for a meal and gift exchange.
Coaching Skills and Positive Motivation
There is one important point that is often missed in the discussion of Coaching Skills: Effective coaching is a great deal more than just problem solving. Many people misinterpret coaching as only a corrective process aimed at specific error and deficiencies of an individual.
Life - Is It Just An Illusion?
It's a well-known fact that electrons and atoms move at the speed of light, technically flickering in and out of existence. In other words, half of the time we are actually not here.
You Have The Right
The other day I was having a interesting conversation with an acquaintance, but it soon turned out to be surprising and unpleasant. The other person blurted out an unwelcome comment, in a tactful manner by pin pointing a personal issue within the conversation.
Creating Supportive Environments
I'm writing this on my laptop in a Cosi café in Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C.