These Storms Aren't Really Storms
Author: Michael Hume
Are You Gonna Believe What You See, Or What They Tell Ya?
by Michael D. Hume, M.S.
You might think those were tornadoes that ravaged Alabama and Missouri during the last couple of months. Maybe you thought, "Hmm, you hear about tornadoes in places like Oklahoma and Texas, all the time, but... Alabama?" So you were surprised, but since Big Media told you those really were tornadoes, you believed it.
Meanwhile, I'm flipping hamburgers on my barbecue grill the other day, and there isn't even the slightest breeze. I'm getting smoke in my eyes, and that simply won't do. Where's the breeze? Typically, I have enough wind to make standing up difficult.
Well, not to worry. Those weren't really tornadoes, and that wasn't really a miraculous-but-eerie calm there at the grill. It's the federal guv'mint, here to help.
It's the administration's new Redistribution of Wind program.
And it's working about as well as big-government, central-planning programs always do.
Makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, have you heard much this year about tornadoes ripping through the standard places, like Kansas, Oklahoma, and Texas? Sure, they've had some storms in those places this year, but apparently not enough to get the ink, or the "air time" (ha ha). So the only logical conclusion is that, in an effort to promote the administration's Holy Grail of fairness and equality, that wind was redistributed to less-windy places.
After all, we have to replace our dependence on the evils of Big Oil with "alternative energy sources," such as wind energy (even though we could spend bazillions to triple our collection of wind energy and still not meet six percent of our national energy needs). And it's just not fair, darn it (stamp foot here to emphasize the point), for some states to have plenty of wind when others don't have near enough!
There is no truth to the rumor that the president's hometown will now be known as the "Appropriately Windy City, No More Windy Than Any Other."
But there's great synergy here. Once the Redistribution of Wind program gets up to speed (ha ha), clouds will also be more evenly distributed, and that means fair-and-equal distribution of the sunshine needed to power our exploding solar energy industry. Yay! We might triple our solar energy, too (if we spend billions of redistributed dollars)... and that might bring in another, what, six percent? Maybe?
So when your business, your home, and/or all your worldly goods get blown away... or when the windmill that powers your stock pump suddenly stops working... don't panic. It's just your tax dollars at work. And when the full-blown (ha ha) economic storm hits, just turn on the TV. They'll tell you nothing about that, but you'll hear all about the latest zephyrs in Maine.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/humor-articles/these-storms-arent-really-storms-5003329.html
About the Author
Michael Hume is a speaker, writer, and consultant specializing in helping people maximize their potential and enjoy inspiring lives. As part of his inspirational leadership mission, he coaches executives and leaders in growing their personal sense of well-being through wealth creation and management, along with personal vitality.
Those with an entrepreneurial spirit who want to make money "one less thing to worry about" can learn more about working with Michael at http://www.caym.tv/18812
Anyone wanting to jump-start their vitality can browse through the best (and most travel-friendly) nutraceuticals on the market at http://shop.enivausa.com/239824
Michael and his wife, Kathryn, divide their time between homes in California and Colorado. They are very proud of their offspring, who grew up to include a homemaker, a rock star, a service talent, and a television expert. Two grandchildren also warm their hearts! Visit Michael's web site at http://michaelhume.net
More Resources
Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exitingRelated Articles
Used Condom Found In Restaurant Salad Bar; Waiter Embarrassed To Tears
Evidence of after-hours activity turned up at a Big Boy restaurant salad bar in Detroit last week, embarrassing not only the perpetrators, but nearly everyone associated with the company.Apparently, Mike Finney and Rhonda Carrion were working together to close down the restaurant's soup, salad and dessert bar and, with no one else around, culminated a night of flirting with sexual intercourse right on the bar.
The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach
The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time filling in the breaches in the levees. They have tried to use giant sand bags to drop into the hole.
Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians
"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with enough education and brains the average man would make a good lawyer - and so would the average lawyer.
Essential Laughter
Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It is so refreshing to just laugh at your slips, peculiarities, forgetfulness, and fumbles.
Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp
To: Maybelle MisfireFrom: I. M.
The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1
Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go on"? When you hear it, you think of what is commonly referred to as "Show-biz," don't you? But where can you go to see the best acting money can buy, any day of the week? No, I'm not talking about the theatre or TV. I'm talking about the "Restaurant-biz.
Silver Linings Are Everywhere
Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch.
Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward
Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way.
American Independence - The True Story
It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away.
Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!
With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic and shaman would give you the answers to all life's mysteries..
Tales of a Spectator Spectator
Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self-contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race .
New Orleans First to Experience Housing Bubble Burst
Are we starting to see the Housing Bubble Burst in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? In New Orleans many homeowner's had their equity literally washed away. They are upside down in negative equity and basically underwater.
Slip-sliding On A Peel
Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week.
Important Safety Tip$
I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of interacting with people who have dementia. I've modified this list only slightly to guide you in safely interacting with corporate executives.
He Had It Coming, Your Honor
This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around our sprawling estate, I realized that my life is just way too laid back.
25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet
A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home.
Beyond Black and White
Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of coffee?" he asks. "I just roasted the latest batch.
The Work-from-home Fashion Primer
Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online marketing geeks had chosen careers as hermits:http://www.thehappyguy.
Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech
Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits.
Do Americans Really Understand Irony?
Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go on to make myself slightly more unpopular by suggesting that our American society does present us with a range of valuable and positive aspects.