Why Date Someone You Wouldnt Have As Your Friend?
Sometimes in dating we so often settle for people that we would not normally have as friends? Why is that? Does the desire to be in a relationship outweigh our standards in love that we will take on a relationship with someone that isn't good for us? I think that we often let loneliness overshadow our standards that we set. We need to stick to our desires and not engage ourselves into relationships that we wouldn't ordinarily engage in.
So often we find people that are almost right in dating, but they tend to fall short. They may fall short on honestly, integrity, or their priorities that we have set for ourselves. Yet, that desire to engage in the relationship short circuits the judgments that we normally have set in place. We tend to be picky when it comes to selecting close friends, and we have levels of friendships with different people, but unfortunately with romantic relationships those levels do not seem to be able to be followed.
Our romantic relationships are somewhat like a light switch, either fully on or fully off. Often we do not use the process of dating to be a get to know you period, but rather we engage in closer romantic relationships too quickly. Sometimes we have already become very involved with someone before we realize they do not have the qualities that we desire the most.
What happens when we realize we are seriously involved with someone that we aren't in alignment with in things that are important to us? We tend to find ourselves in relationships that are doomed to fail at one time or another. Eventually the characteristics that irritate us now, will be like a great divide later in the relationship. Its unfortunate but these things will come back to haunt the relationship at some time and point in the future.
Perhaps the better approach would be to take things slow and easy when first starting a relationship with a new person. We need to also take stock of what our true desires are in that other person before we engage in an intimate relationship, and constantly judge that person against what our goals and values are before we become seriously involved. Knowing what we what in a relationship before engaging in a relationship will aide us in selecting the right person before we are at the bridal registry, and while we can safely back out of a potential relationship.
Stephanie Manley writes about lessons in romantic relationships at http://romancelessons.blogspot.com.