A World of Possibility

When I started my sales career over 25 years ago, I worked for a small company selling telephone answering equipment. Hard to believe it but in those days I had to explain to prospects what the equipment was for and why they might want to use it.

The company I worked for got business in several different ways. First each of the 4 sales people handled incoming calls and also made calls to people he/she thought could use the equipment. The company advertised so sometimes people called in to inquire about the products we offered. Finally the manufacturers of the equipment sent the company names of people (leads) who called the manufacturer because they were interested in the equipment.

No one particularly liked making cold calls so if we could get an incoming call we took it hoping it was a potential customer. Cold calling was part of the job however so I learned to do it in a way that made it a game. One of the other sales people really hated making the calls so he very rarely made any.

Instead of calling, this fellow would complain to whoever was available that the company didn't provide good leads, that the company should advertise more so people would know what the equipment was, and that the company should move its location to a high traffic mall so we would get walk in traffic. (We were located in a building that housed the mattress factory of the parents of the owner!)

Needless to say he didn't make many sales but it always struck me that he truly believed the problem was with the company not with himself.

Jack Canfield in his book "The Success Principles" says, "If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything that you experience in your life. This includes the level of your achievements, the results you produce, the quality of your relationships, the state of your health and physical fitness, your income, your debts, your feelings-everything!"

The fellow may have been right about the company and its support (or lack of support) of sales but he couldn't change that. It didn't help any of us that he continually complained about the leads, location, and lack of advertising. He needed to take responsibility for his own sales process and begin to think about possibilities not problems.

Instead the focus on the problems put him in a negative mood so that he was somewhat snide when he talked to potential customers. Needless to say they rarely bought from him. His negative mood made him totally unattractive to the rest of us. I knew that I couldn't talk with him too often or I would also get caught up in his negativity.

My colleague's conversation is what Ben Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander call "downward spiral talk". They say in the book "The Art of Possibility", "Focusing on the abstraction of scarcity, downward spiral talk creates an unassailable story about the limits to what is possible and tells us compellingly how things are going from bad to worse."

Obviously it would be good to stop that kind of talk-if you can. This can be difficult especially if you are paid to find the problems with something. Lawyers look for holes in the other person's case, engineers look for problems to solve, and accountants often look for ways the numbers don't work.

There is energy in finding what is wrong with something. The key is to use that energy even if the use is to write a report or argue a case. My colleague needed to take the energy of his negativity and use that energy to find innovative ways to make the job interesting. That is what I had done when I made a game of it. Getting stuck in the negativity makes you a victim of circumstances rather than being 100% responsible for your own results.

Take Action:

1. Where are you being negative? Are you aware of a downward spiral talk in your work? How can you use the energy of the talk in a different way?

2. Read "The Art of Possibility" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander and "The Success Principles" by Jack Canfield.

3. Another perspective on the issue of negativity: Julie Norem's The Positive Power of Negative Thinking: Using Defensive Pessimism to Harness Anxiety and Perform at Your Peak. Take a look at this book and website: http://www.defensivepessimism.com/

4. David Caruso and Peter Solovay in their book The Emotionally Intelligent Manager give these four key emotional skills:

a. Identifying Emotion: Emotions contain critical information and data.

b. Using Emotion: Different emotions help our thinking in different ways.

c. Understanding Emotion: Emotions follow a logical pattern, if you know how to look at them.

d. Managing Emotion: You cannot be effective without the wisdom of emotions.

How might these skills help you with downward spiral talk?

Alvah Parker is a Business and Career Coach as well as publisher of Parker's Points, an email tip list and Road to Success, an ezine. Parker's Value Program© enables her clients to find their own way to work that is more fulfilling and profitable. Her clients are managers, business owners, sole practioners, attorneys and people in transition. Alvah is found on the web at http://www.asparker.com. She may also be reached at 781-598-0388.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Transform Your Image And Accelerate Your Success
Being a lifelong student, I am regularly attending seminars etc. to become the best I can be in all areas of my life.
What The Buddha Says About Coaches
There is a Buddhist saying that goes like this: "If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill it." This means to kill any concept of the Buddha as something apart from oneself.
Listen To Me Lad Says Jack
Once upon a time, a very long time ago, when I was first starting out as an apprentice engineer, I was told to sit next to Jack.Jack was the longest serving Draughtsman in the organisation and he was one of the most lazy people I have ever met.
Dare To Be Inconsistent, Lopsided, And Totally Courageous
I was talking to one of my coaching clients and she was talking about not being able to stay with a meditation practice, so she gave up meditating altogether. "I'm either gung ho all the way or I don't show up at all," she said in disgust.
Lovers Remorse
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 29, 2002A few months after my divorce I started seeing a friend of my ex-wife. She told me I really needed a person that would appreciate me.
Let's Say You're a Dog. Are You So Competitive You'd Eat a Carrot?
Seems like a gal always learns something out on the farm! Yes, it's a farm tale and I'm going to change the names of the animals to protect the guilty!I spent last weekend down in Lower Alabama where my friend from high school owns a farm. On the neighboring property there lives a donkey we'll call "Jake.
Coaching May Be For You
Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable to achieving your goals? Career coaching and mentoring may be what you need to accomplish what you really want in your career. Your friends and family certainly love you and want the best for you, but they can't always make the time to devote the necessary hours you may need to achieve your objectives and goals.
Progress Reviews: Your Key To Effective Coaching
One of the most effective ways to help your staff succeed is to provide regular, consistent coaching throughout the year. A Progress Review is a specific kind of coaching discussion, tied to the employee's Annual Objectives and Standards.
Why Bosses Dont Get All the News
Not long ago, a friend who works in television complained that the industry has no interest in real business stories. And, I had to agree with him, since we don't see much coverage that doesn't involve stock prices or some sort of scandal.
Lessons from Donald Trump and The Apprentice: A Career Coachs Perspective
What can we learn about careers from watching Donald Trump and The Apprentice?1. Recognize that job tests don't always correspond to job realities.
What is the Success Lesson in this Story?
One of my clients gave me permission to tell you his story.Jim called me 9 months ago and asked for help.
Becoming An Empowered Consumer
How many times have you said to yourself?"I just wish that company would treat me like they appreciated my business!"?For many years I trained Customer Service Reps at a large corporation. There is no doubt that it was during those years I personally became a consumer with rather high standards and expectations.
Personal Power
All of us would love to have personal power - the power to manifest our dreams, the power to remain calm and loving in the face of fear, the power to stay centered in ourselves in the face of attack.Our society often confuses personal power - "power within" - with "power over," which is about controlling others.
Is Coaching Everything That It Is Cracked Up To Be?
Personal or business coaching has helped thousands change their lives and achieve their goals. Yet, for the sceptics it still is a fuzzy concept with little recognition for its benefits.
Do you know WHAT MAKES ME MAD?? It makes me SO MAD I just want to...
Sound familiar? If you want to manage anger, the only way of doing so is to listen to your self-talk. This doesn't mean listening to yourself talk.
Tame The Financial Beast
Are holiday bills surprising you? Are you hoping that if you ignore your finances long enough, maybe they will fix themselves?Let's liken our finances to a garden. If we neglect the garden, weeds will grow and take over.
7 Destructive Habits of Incompetent People
WARNING! If you want to have a fantastic life, never engage yourself in these 7 deadly habits that incompetent people do. NUMBER 1 - They Think, Say, & Do Negative Things.
Success: Cant Achieve It By Yourself? Pay A Professional!
So many people go through the motions of trying to achieve success. But just going through the motions doesn't work.
So Why Are They Really Here?
It does make you wonder sometimes, doesn't it? You know the folks I'm talking about. The ones who seem to be wandering around in the middle of a fog bank.
A Beginner To Beginners
You may be just starting, or contemplating, your first online business. Or, just like me, you may be trying out yet another online business scheme.