Letting Go Of Wanting Your Own Approval

Ever had a time in your life when those closest to youdisapproved of your behavior? It is very uncomfortable is it not?In a moment, peace of mind can vanish in a puff of smoke and youcrave approval more than anything else. This time in thewilderness seems to last forever and when it is finally over thenewly earned approval of your peers feels just great.

This wanting approval can get out of control though. We caneasily extend this need for approval to all people we come intocontact with in our life. When we want and need approvalwe encounter this lack of approval everywhere we go; the waiterdoes not smile when he takes your order; the checkout operatorhardly looks at you; and your boss only compliments your workwhen the moon is full and the first Tuesday of the month precedesa wet weekend!

All of a sudden life is a struggle, a constant battle to getother people, all people, to like you and to approve of you. Andthe more you want this approval the less you seem to get it.

What is the solution? The answer is to not be concerned aboutwhat other people think of you. This can be achieved by approvingof yourself completely despite your past indiscretions, failingsand errors of judgment. When you totally accept and approve ofyourself you will have little interest in how other people viewyou. If they like you *Great*, if they do not, that is theirchoice and their loss.

There are many ways to boost your opinion of yourself. Irecently discovered that just letting go of wanting your ownapproval works really well. Simply ask yourself the followingquestion:

Could I let go of wanting my own approval?

Sounds too simple to work. I know! It works if and only if youask the question with your attention on your feeling response noton the answer that pops into your head. Our goal is to let go ofthe limiting feelings, this is not a mental exercise.

Spend twenty minutes concentrating on this question. Ask thequestion again and again, and each time just notice your feelingresponse before asking the question again. After twenty minutesyou can expect to feel lighter and more at peace with yourself.Your breathing may also change and it is likely to become deeperand more relaxed.

The effect of letting go of wanting your approval is that yourelease the limitations that stop you from approving of yourselfand you are left with what you wanted - your own approval.

You can also ask yourself the question, could I let go of wantingmy own approval?... anytime you need to communicate at your bestto make a good impression. Just say it softly to yourself underyour breath or quietly inside your head. Ask the question, noticeyour feeling response, and repeat the process again and again.

By approving completely of yourself you will not be concernedwith winning the approval of your listeners and ironicallypeople will tend to reflect this approval back to you since theywill take you at your own value.

Now, go and prove this for yourself!

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert and published author.Subscribe FREE to his upbeat newsletter and get a FREE e-book,which reveals secret strategies for supercharging yourcommunication skills. To join send an email to: AbolishShynessToday-subscribe@topica.com
http://www.topica.com/lists/AbolishShynessToday/

More Resources

Finding Truth
Why Must We Find Truth:Finding truth can be a very difficult task. We are processing data constantly with news from TV, radio and newspapers.
Lottery Winners Lose It All
You have heard it time and again. Lottery Winners lose it all and trust fund babies waste their parent's hard earned cash.
The Good Luck Recipe!
Good luck was not part of my life for many years until; I discovered a formula that has proven to be effective for me and many others.Are you ready?Okay, then here it is:1.
Are You Thinking About What Youre Thinking About
Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what will determine whether you live a successful life or not?Since your thoughts are what your belief system is composed of, you should take great care in what you are thinking about because your thoughts influence the outcome of every area of your life.Are you thinking about what you're thinking about? The Bible says, "As a man thinks, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7).
Paradigm Shift
Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know after my little tirade yesterday about Integrity and ethical behavior I felt compelled to speak on the subject of the paradigm shift in wealth consiousness.
Why and How You are Caught Up?
Speed Up the Evolution!1. Check the area where you are making greatest efforts.
The Manifestations Of Self
A man is captive within himself. He dwells in a freedom which is confirmed to bounds, he breathes in an ambience ensnared to limits, he nurtures a shriveled valiance with the quaint promises of trepidation, he is infinite to his content and eternal only to his perception.
Appreciating and Communicating Your Value
It's a common scenario. Although the specific circumstances may differ, the challenge often remains the same: we professional women seldom understand our true value.
The Power Of Charisma
You have seen them on television your entire life: the world leaders, the movie stars, and yes, even the infomercial darlings! These people almost seem incapable of self-doubt as their undeniable confidence exudes from their every pore, almost mesmerizing their audience. They are literally capable of convincing listeners to buy products they don't really need, support causes without question, and follow when one would rather lead.
What Is Your Legacy?
During a recent speech, I told the audience that my mission was to empower the self-employed to succeed. Instantly a hand shot up in the audience.
Do You Want Raspberry, Chocolate Or Vanilla?
Descartes once wrote, "I think, therefore I am!" and 'hidden' in plain view amongst those five small words - for all the world to see - lays the secret to unlimited success. Do you see it? Oh all right? I'll 'fess up.
Listening Is As Important As Speaking
While engaging in conversations with friends and co-workers, how often do you feel that the other person has truly heard what you've said?If you want to succeed in social settings, relationships, and business, one way to ensure your success is to be a great listener.There are a few simple rules you can follow to help you become a better listener, therefore enhancing your conversation skills.
Dont Be Afraid to Let Other People See Who You Really Are!
Do you know anybody that you consider to be particularly engaging and lively? Take a moment to picture that person in your mind. What is it about that person that you find most attractive? He or she may have a charming voice and a great laugh, but it is also very likely that you find their face very expressive.
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single".
How To Actualize Your Potential
Are you tired of struggling and trying to realize your dreams, yet constantly missing the mark? You know your potential but just keep on missing it.How do you know when you have actualized your potential? When you are in your full potential, there is an experience of joy.
Letting Go and Trusting The Universe
One of the most important things in Wealth Creation is not so much in cracking our head trying to come up with the next million dollar idea or get rich quick scheme.The most important thing which is one of the greatest obstacle for most people is Letting Go.
Afloat on A Sea of Abundance
In the days of the mighty sailing ships, when brave souls voyaged into the unknown, dependent on the winds and their as-yet incomplete knowledge of geography and navigation, one of the greatest and most dangerous challenges was to traverse the area known as "the doldrums."Extending about 30 degrees on either side of the equator, the doldrums are subject to days, weeks, even months of no wind at all.
The Three Pillars of Life
We all have the power to change our lives. What differentiates between those who take the action to change and those who just sit on the sidelines are three basic human endowments.
What is Intution and How do I use it?
Intuition is an incredible resource and gift that we have been given to help us live our best life. Unfortunately, not many people know what it is or how to use it.
Making New Friends
How do we make friends? More importantly if dropped into a new city or a new job or a new school, how do we go about making a new friends? Most of us don't really think about it, but just sort of allow people to float in and out of our lives without really paying any attention to how we pull new people into our lives.Years ago, my son was four years old and starting preschool.

More Attraction Information:

Related Articles

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
'Image & Professionalism' we hear these words being thrown around in conversation like cheap tokens, almost as frequently as their counterparts 'quality', 'service', and 'value'. So what does 'Image & Professionalism' really mean, and what do you see when you look in the mirror?A funny thing happens when you overuse a word.
How Do You Treat Others?
When others are angry with you, loving to you, critical of you, and so on, do you treat them the same? We tend to treat others, except those in a position of authority or power over us, the same way they treat us.Let's say you enter a restaurant expecting great service and a tasty meal.
Just Allow? But How?
If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're probably familiar with the expressions, "just Allow" and "it will come." Well, technically, both expressions are true.
Hot Date Tonight?
Re-entering the dating scene is rather scary, but as a single woman, mom of four, I decided it's time to play the field. After all, who wants to grow old single and alone? So, I consulted a few friends, an online dating service, and several single women I knew - but ultimately most of them are "satisfied with single".
Top 5 Areas to Create A Super-Reserve!
Last week, I had the privilege of leading a 4-day teleclass about creating reserves that will meet our needs and support our lives, forever! The goal was to create systems that automatically respond to everything that distracts, worries or confuses us, for the rest of our lives! (How's that for thinking big?) When we are secure and our needs are met once and for all, we are free to live large, pursue our dreams and challenge life on our own terms.While most of us worry about our shortage of time, money, or energy, and too often focus on working harder to get "enough", these 20 people wanted to go beyond enough, and cruise right past "plenty" to create "Super-Reserves" - a lifetime supply - of all the things that are important to them!In 4 days, we didn't find all the answers, but we made extraordinary progress and I'd like to share some of my notes with you.
What is it That You Want, Honey? Discover Wealth and Prosperity with the Angels of Abundance
As you already know, the Angels are here; ready to assist us but how can they assist us if they aren't control freaks or butt-in-skees? Obviously, they don't butt in. I have never heard my Angels telling me that I "should" do something.
Attracting Opportunity -- 10 Tips
You get what you attract - with your thoughts, words, beliefs, actions and inactions. Here are 10 tips for attracting opportunity:? Decide what you want, what you must do to get it, and then map out a plan to do what you must.
Letting Go and Trusting The Universe
One of the most important things in Wealth Creation is not so much in cracking our head trying to come up with the next million dollar idea or get rich quick scheme.The most important thing which is one of the greatest obstacle for most people is Letting Go.
Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater?
I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want you to use your imagination to construct a dream theater.
Use Your Vibrations of Energy to Communicate
In the past, I have touched on the connection of quantum physics and communication. One of my passions is to understand the connection that we create on a much higher level.
Passion Play
I remember a football game from last season when the Philadelphia Eagles were hosting the Carolina Panthers. One of the announcers said something like this: "If this game is about passion, it's about Deuce Staley! If it's about passion, he will be the last guy standing.
The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike
There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the Internet that cover the topic of how our Consciousness shapes ourreality through thought and feeling..
What the Young Man Heard
In the latter half of the 1800s, when the telegraph was still "high tech," a young man in Baltimore, Maryland, woke up one summer morning giddy with excitement. In fact, it had taken him half the night to get to sleep at all.
Bigger Fish To Fry
Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake in Northern Ontario. That trip really brought home to me the power of the Law of Attraction.
Ending the Internal Conflict
If you read personal growth or self-help books at all, including mine, you've been taught to identify what you want to have. You've been instructed to focus your intention on what you want because what you think about is what it drawn to you.
Dont Let Other Peoples Walls Fence You In
"How's it going?" I asked the clerk in the new bookstore. "Well you know," she replied "it takes a long time to build a business.
Finders Keepers
Do you remember your younger years when you and your friends played all sorts of fun games all day long? I'm sure you do. If there is one thing children know how to do, they know how to have fun.
Purpose of Choice
Tornadic weather threatens southeastern Colorado and life on the plains takes a turn again. Interestingly enough, books are written, movies are made, and life happens while the winds blow and the rains fall.
Are You Thinking About What Youre Thinking About
Do you realize that your belief system is ultimately what will determine whether you live a successful life or not?Since your thoughts are what your belief system is composed of, you should take great care in what you are thinking about because your thoughts influence the outcome of every area of your life.Are you thinking about what you're thinking about? The Bible says, "As a man thinks, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7).
Thought and The Law of Attraction
We have all heard the expression, "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again." But to carry on without thinking about why you failed only leads to more failure.