Motivation Information |
Starting Over
I worked hard for the past 17 years. I felt I had to. I only finished high school. Without a certificate to flaunt and yet wanting to climb the corporate ladder, I dedicated my effort and time to my work. I was proud of myself. At 40 years old I had reached a manager's position. The day came when I was handed the letter. Why did the company fire me? Was I not good enough? It was a massive blow to my ego. My questions only brought back anger. I was not resourceful and I could not see any positive meaning to it. As I thought about it longer, I became more angry and annoyed. Then the emotions turn into fear. What can I do now? Who would employ me? At this age and with a lack of education, how could I get another job? I was becoming an unendurable person. My relationship, which was already on the rocks suffered further. I was no longer the person I used to be. I complained and whined. I lost the confidence in myself. I could not see myself in any other way but a "wimp". I avoided friends and ignored and neglected my partner. There were no more constructive conversations between us. He was getting on well with her career and moving upwards. And the more I saw him succeeding the more I felt bad about myself. I was ashamed of myself. I thought that I was not good enough for him anymore. Finally he has had it. He walked out of my life. Not only have I lost my job. I also have lost someone whom I thought was the one for me. More resentment and self-pity came over me. I was angry with him. How could he leave me if he had loved me? I was not only broke but also alone. I was so broke that I could not afford my own home. The finance company repossessed my car. I had no material things left except my clothes in my luggage and a few books. It has to take two crisis to make me wake up to my senses. I had to change immediately. That was the only choice I had. Losing your self-confidence is bad. Losing your self-esteem is worse. Losing your self is a disaster. Until... I decided to change...in my thinking. I have to meet my basic need first, food and shelter. The company I went to offered lodging so I took the job that paid only a quarter of what I used to earn. Alone and still broke...but this time I looked at what I had left. Change does not come easy. Recovering your self-confidence and your self-esteem is an attitude and mindset that needs discipline. You need to develop the disciplines that can boost your trust in yourself again. 1. Admit that you have messed up. Whatever happened, has happened to someone else too. It is how you make out of it that matters. You either let it go and move on or wallow in self-pity. If you had taken the second option as I did, you will realize that your life would be messier than when it started. It is not too late. Admit your mistakes, forgive yourself and move on. 2. Write down realistic goals. When your self-esteem plummets, it is tough to see bright, colorful pictures of yourself smiling at your achievements. Set several realistic goals to start with. For a start, these were some of my goals... i) Put on 5kg.Lost that. I was looking very thin and gaunt for my height. I need to lift my self-image. ii) Cut smoking to 10 cigarettes a day.I can't afford more anyway iii) Read 1 hr daily.Got to feed my mind with something positive. iv) Take 20minutes walk in the park a day.I needed some fresh air and away from the cramp abode of mine. v) Keep a journal.I shunned friends so at least I could use this to pour out my feelings. vi) Record my activities.I must make full use of my time. vii) Pray and meditate.Somehow, I know I am not alone. I worked on them and made certain that I followed the disciplines. It felt good to strike out each activity daily. And when the good feelings enter again, I added more goals to my list. Slowly but surely, I began to feel good about myself again. 3) Interrupt the negative self-talks and critics. Your self-talks will not stop and mostly they are negative and criticizing. This is a challenge especially when you are trying and working hard on yourself. Learn to listen to them. Catch them "in the act". Remove, cancel, and delete. Do whatever within your power to fight back. It's funny how you could move away from people who criticize you. At times you can even tell them to shut their mouth up and you can't even tell your voices within to leave you alone. You need to be aware. You must listen. Then when you hear, you could either so gently tell the voices to leave you alone. Or, if the voices are softly whispering, tell them firmly to get out. Consciously now, speak something out loud or within yourself that you are worthy. However and whatever you say, feed your ears and your mind with encouraging words like "I love myself". Isn't it better than hearing it say over and over again how hopeless you are? 4) Remember and recall successful and positive experiences. If you really try, you will be able to remember a few of your success. I sat down in a "relaxed mode" and at first have to force myself to think of one experience that I was proud of. Soon enough, I found out that I had quite a number of beautiful experiences. - There was a time when I was given 3 promotions in a year. - I remembered the time when I sat with my friends watching the sun setting on the horizon. - I recalled my first experience snorkeling and seeing the beautiful and colorful fishes under the sea... in spite of my fear of water. - The day when I first saw my niece one hour after she was born. When you can play back these memories and experiences, you will realize that you have had great times many times over. Why rewind and play the sad and dis-empowering movies in your mind? Will it make you feel good? If not discard them just as easy as throwing photographs that we do not wish to look at. This is a mind's game. We can decide what to do with our mind. Richard Bandler stated that the brain is his favorite toy. Let's make that ours too. We have them too don't we? 5) Keep a journal. This can be therapeutic. You can write down what you think and feel. No one is going to correct your grammar. No one is going to argue about it. This is because no one is going to see it. It is yours. Why let those words keep voicing out in your head. Write them out. Say what you want to say. And maybe laugh at some of them when you sit back and read them many months later. Write down your activities too. How much time did you spend sleeping? What time did you get up? What was the first thing you saw when you got up? Whom did you meet today and how long did you use your time for socializing? How many push-ups did you do today? What ideas came to your mind today? What have you learned at work? What can you do to improve your income? 6) Read and listen. When I first started out again, I did not have many friends. My weekends were quiet. There were moments when I dreaded just the thought of it. I did not have many books to read and I did not have much money to buy them. So I spent my time at the public library. Reading motivational and inspiration books helped me especially at those times when I was down and out. I read and read. It has kept me inspired and my interest in other subjects has broadened. After a while I started to listen to motivational tapes. I fed my mind. I was determined to make my life work. 7) Pray. When you are down and out, and you think that no one is there for you, think again. As the saying goes, "you are invisibly being watched over". Fatimah Musa provides information, tips and quotes written to help people become aware that any future growth starts with their personal growth. You can visit Fatimah at http://www.about-personal-growth.com
MORE RESOURCES: Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting |
RELATED ARTICLES
The Power Of Purpose The manifestations of motiveA man is captive within himself. He dwells in a freedom which is confirmed to bounds, he breathes in an ambience ensnared to limits, he nurtures a shriveled valiance with the quaint promises of trepidation, and he is infinite to his content and eternal only to his perception. Dont You Quit! "A man who has nothing to die for is not fit to live." -Martin LutherYou sat in that secret corner of your room. A Special Q & A - All About Passionately Soaring in Life 1. How do I discover my passion?This is one of my favorite reasons for giving Divinely channeled private consultations. The Dawn On The Nile Valley Has Secrets To Tell! (3) Me and Mao Tse-Tung!My first political experience was with Mao Tse-Tung 1968-69.That was exactly before the second Sudanese military dictator Ga'far Numeri took over power through his coup d'etat in May 25, 1969. Explanations?... or Excuses? Which of the following "explanations" have you heard (or used!) in the past few weeks?* I need to reward myself for being so good.* The boss hates me. Why Now Is The Perfect Moment For You To Succeed Letīs discover the importance of balancing preparation, timing and momentum. Itīs critical if you want to finally beat procrastination. 10 Things To Do This Summer Looking for a summer project? How about working on who you are, and what kind of life you really want to live? Here's some ideas.1. Ten Terrific Self Motivating Tips No one can motivate anyone to do anything. All a person can do for another is provide them with incentives to motivate themselves. What Once Was - Ain't No More Rather than beat around the bush and try to lead into this in a semi-logical manner, I'll get right to the point. The past is gone - vanished, disappeared in a cloud of dust and a hearty "Hi, Ho Silver!" It is history, not real, mental vapor, and gone, gone, gone!"Yabutt?""Yabutt" nothing. Can You Can Can? What You Can Do If You Really Go For It One hundred years ago the laundry girls of Montmartre invented a street dance which became known as the Can Can. Some dancers love it and some hate it. Motivation; 5 Steps to Get the Changes You Want Q: I just read your column in today's' Greensboro News and Record. For the last few years I've been struggling with change, and found your suggestions about "change tools" to be useful. Procrastinator No More! Procrastination is when ever we postpone a task or duty intentionally without a valuable explanation. It is a natural tendency in people. Full Steam Ahead, Just Dont Go Off Half Cocked! Do you do things that you don't want to do? Do you not do things that you do want to do? Do you find every reason in the book to delay what needs to be done? Would you like to know the secret of getting things done? Then hang on tight, cause this buds for you.How do you make the secret of getting things done an everyday part of your life? It's done by a nasty word?. 4 Qualities of Highly Successful People What if you can be, do or have anything you want, what would you desire in your life?Now do you believe it can happen? Yes? No? In the words of Henry Ford, "If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right."Well then what actually happens for those people who do seem to get everything they desire?Let's take a closer look. Make Fear a Nine Day Wonder - Motivate Yourself with Fun! Have you heard something referred to as a "nine day wonder"? The phrase refers to something that causes a sensation for a brief period of time and then fades into obscurity. The origin of this phrase is usually tied to the nine-day reign of Lady Jane Grey (1537-1554) as Queen of England. If Theres Money in a Dead Mouse... My 4 year old son was very excited. I had promised himto tell a wonderful story tonight. How to Stay Motivated Until You Get What You Want And somehow you knew how to stay motivated.. Motivation: The Cure for Complacency Q. I've always tried to work hard enough to provide for my family and be content. What is your Altitude? It is something that everyone - and I do mean everyone - has the same opportunity to possess. It is something that can change you, those around you, and your future immediately. What Gets Your Ass Out Of Bed? Beep. Beep. |
home | site map | contact us |