| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
Legislating Morality: The Sanction of Marriage
Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very rare exceptions like aphids, mites, and some lizards) is required for procreation, critical for survival of the species. On the other hand, marriage is a human social contract, historically accepted as the optimum means of raising offspring who require years of care before they become independent. Divine blessing on the union is important to many but marriage in the eyes of religion is totally separate from the civil contract of marriage itself. It is the civil contract which has legal standing for government programs like social security and which can be severed by the courts in divorce proceedings. As a social contract between two individuals, the presumption that one must be male and one must be female is irrelevant. Marriage is certainly an emotional and legal commitment. Once two individuals make the choice that they will spend the rest of their lives together, society approves the decision, notwithstanding the fact that only half of us will be able to permanently remain in that relationship. It is approved because it is a force for stability and responsibility, both vital if a culture is to thrive. Most married couples have children; many do not. Child rearing is therefore only one aspect of the state of matrimony, not the sole reason for its existence. So why the outcry against same-sex marriage which brings the same forces of stability and responsibility to society as do heterosexual unions? I suggest that the widespread movement against gay marriage is not really directed at marital vows at all but is a revolt against homosexuality itself. Rather than supporting gays by letting them receive legal sanction for their relationships, we want to punish them. They have stepped outside the bounds of our experience. They make us feel uncomfortable. We see a young man and a girl kissing on the street and smile. We see two young men kissing and emotionally recoil. Most heterosexuals cannot understand gays and unconsciously think that there is "something wrong" with them. (Until 20 years ago, homosexuality was listed as a mental disorder!) If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, gays are from another galaxy. Because of our discomfort or, in many cases, disgust, we try to legislate them out of existence. The courts, and the culture at large, will not allow us to get rid of them. All we have left is an ability to relegate them to a less-than-equal status by denying them an important social right: marriage. That denial, codified in 11 states on election night, 2004, revealed a fearful desire to legislate morality and conduct according to a pre-conceived idea of what is right and wrong for everyone regardless of their religious, moral, humanistic, or sexual preferences. The morality crusade that was Prohibition was possibly the most destructive social experiment ever attempted. Not only did it fail to stop the use of alcohol, but led to the rise of organized crime which still holds sway some 80 years later. We can successfully legislate against behaviors that hurt society -- murder, theft, violence and other dangerous acts -- because society benefits when its members are safe and protected. To suggest that the safety of the world can be threatened by two same-sex individuals reciting vows of commitment before a local official is preposterous. The will to legislate against such an act reflects only our idea to withhold, to punish, to declare before all that it is only our values which matter and that we are right, divinely right. Virginia Bola is a licensed clinical psychologist with deep interests in Social Psychology and politics. She has performed therapeutic services for more than 20 years and has studied the results of cultural forces and employment on the individual. The author of an interactive workbook, The Wolf at the Door: An Unemployment Survival Manual, and a monthly ezine, The Worker's Edge, she can be reached at http://www.virginiabola.com
MORE RESOURCES:
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
All The Details: 25 Ways to Make Your Wedding a Unique and Truly Memorable Event If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all. From the flowers and the candles to the dress and the music, the typical wedding can be as predictable and generic as your Uncle Leo's dance moves. All that Glitters-Something Old, Something New... Brides through the ages have accessorized with wedding jewelry to add a finishing touch to their bridal attire; however, many brides who don't wear jewelry in everyday life jump at the chance to wear it on their wedding day. Is it the special occasion or the chance to play dress-up that prompts these brides to don the unthinkable-jewelry?Those brides too practical to care about jewelry in real life use it on their wedding day to check off all the "somethings" that bring good luck-something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue. Wedding Dresses - Frequently Asked Questions You've gotten engaged and have set the wedding date and now it's time to get down to business. All the planning and decisions can be overwhelming to the most organized and practical bride-to-be. How A Marriage Counseling Secret Can Save Your Marriage How do you react if your spouse announces "I want a divorce" or something similar? With shock? Surprise? Outrage?If these are your reactions, you've got plenty of company. Thousands of spouses each year have this same experience. How to Choose Your Wedding Shoes Wedding day is known as the most unforgettable day in human life. Most women wish that day could be perfect and hoping nothing would go wrong. Anniversary Gifts and Perfumes How many times has your anniversary come around and you quickly rush out to buy something, anything from a myriad of anniversary gifts and perfumes available.Everyone has probably been there, waiting until the last minute and then feeling a little guilty because the gift didn't quite say what you wanted it to say. Bridezilla Bride!? Nobody, I repeat nobody likes a bridezilla bride. If you feel this feeling taking hold of your higher thinking processes fight it! Fight it will every fiber of your being, if you don't your friends may never forgive you. Legislating Morality: The Sanction of Marriage Biologically, a coupling between male and female (with some very rare exceptions like aphids, mites, and some lizards) is required for procreation, critical for survival of the species. On the other hand, marriage is a human social contract, historically accepted as the optimum means of raising offspring who require years of care before they become independent. Family Law A frustrating lack of permanence plagues modern relationships. Approximately one of every two marriages ends in divorce and the average length of a marriage before divorce is only five years. Wedding Planning: Clear Communication with Your Wedding Guests Effective communication between you and your wedding guests is essential in the months leading up to your wedding. But in this stressful time, how can you maintain healthy relationships with your family and friends when you're flooded with questions and feeling in over your head?You know your wedding guests ask for details because they care about you. Wedding Tips for Saving Your Sanity and Your Bank Account Overwhelmed is a common feeling a bride-to-be experiences as she begins to delve into the $45 billion a year world of planning a wedding. However there are several ways to deal with the incessant head spinning that can ensue as you begin to contemplate who to invite, what to feed everyone, where to have it, and how in the world you can stay within your budget without requiring a stylish white straight jacket to wear with your Badgley Mischka gown. Lighting The Way When Two Become One Whether you want to add a little extra romance to an evening reception or a little glow to your house of worship, candles are a natural, effortless addition to your wedding theme. You'll have no trouble finding a role for candles at the wedding ceremony, at the reception, and even as part of the floral displays. The Loveliest Las Vegas Wedding Reception If you are actually planning your Las Vegas wedding reception, you're already a step ahead of a lot of people who get married in Vegas! All kidding aside - this is certainly a momentous occasion, and for your wedding reception Las Vegas has the expertise to make it perfect.In Las Vegas, wedding receptions of all flavors are a very familiar request, so most hotels have full-time staff dedicated to helping people like you plan and prepare for the event. Las Vegas Theme Weddings "Las Vegas theme weddings are the envy of the world. Nowhere else on planet earth can you find such a dazzling array of choices for a theme wedding. Wedding Anniversary Signature Frame - The Perfect Anniversary Gift! So you're having a wedding anniversary. Congratulations! It's quite a remarkable achievement in this day and age and whether you're celebrating a 10th, 25th, or 50yr anniversary each year marks a memorable milestone and deserves a special celebration. A Honeymoon Like No Other When it comes to choosing a honeymoon destination it's usually sandy beaches and blue waters here, a historical sight there, or a luxurious pampering from morning till night somewhere else.The other day, though, looking through the various web sites, I came across a honeymoon destination which must surely be the most unique of them all. 5 Tips To Keep Marital Bliss Alive After You Retire! Let's face it retirement is a time of great transition for spouses. Ample free time and drastic lifestyle changes can be a burden or a blessing for your marriage. The Night They Invented Champagne In the dim past of the last century, good time girls like Marilyn Monroe always celebrated their moments of victory with a glass of bubbly.'I'm marrying a millionaire,' she'd thrill. Top Ten Reasons to Plan a Destination Wedding You and the one you love are dreaming of an enchanted getaway, to do nothing less than tie the knot. Why should anyone want to go away, you say? Check out these reasons for taking a sandy route to the altar with a destination wedding. How to Save Money on Wedding Photography All brides want that one photograph that perfectly captures the wedding day. But to get it, you have to hire a skilled photographer--and unfortunately, they usually cost several thousand dollars.
|
| home | site map | contact us |
