Humor Information |
Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry
A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist. We talked about how I was feeling. I really wanted to hit him in the face when he asked that. I didnīt do that. I regret that now. No, I replied politely and asked him if he thought I came there because he is such a nice guy, and the chairs are really comfortable. He didnīt say anything to that. He just smiled and I smiled back. I shouldnīt have done that Then he asked me if I did any kind of drugs. I asked him if he had any, and if he thought it would help if I took some. He didnīt think that was funny. But I did. Then he asked me what I thought the problem was. I told him my problem was that people asked too many questions. Then he asked me why. I gave up on everything at that point. I told him that. I shouldnīt have done that. He told me I had a depression. That made me depressed. Then he told me to take some pills and fill out a form. That confirmed the reason I went there. Life sucks. Then I went home and felt ackward. I decided to call a friend. My friend picked the phone up. I told him that the psychiatrist had told me I was depressed. I shouldnīt have done that. My friend asked me alot of questions. I answered his questions. Then he went neurotic on me, and treated me like a disease which needed to be cured. Then I told him to go fuck himself. I never talked to that friend again. He told my other friends. They told their friends who told their .. Nobody wants to talk to me now. I told my psychiatrist that last week. He told me that my depression was getting worse. Then he gave me some stronger pills, and alot of new forms to fill out. I shouldnīt have done that. I took the pills and filled out the forms. Then my psychiatrist put me in this psychiatric ward iīm in today. The walls are white, and the straps are tight. I like it here. They say iīm going to be here for a long time. I donīt mind. The nurses have nice tits, and they donīt ask questions. Thatīs what I did. ------------------------------------ This Article was brought to you by: ------------------------------------ The Worst Magazine On the Internet! Featuring Insane Jokes, Weird Humour, Bad News and Stupid Facts you did not really want to know. This is not a joke. Take it seriously, like a deep pranayama breath.."there is no magazine" Visit us at http://www.assiah.net
MORE RESOURCES: Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting |
RELATED ARTICLES
Do Americans Really Understand Irony? Let me start by saying that 'I am an American' Ok, there I have admitted it. But let me go on to make myself slightly more unpopular by suggesting that our American society does present us with a range of valuable and positive aspects. Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way. How to Build a Cobblestone House He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down - certainly not if the house was built with cobblestones. Building cobblestone houses was a folk art that flourished in upstate New York from 1825 until the Civil War in 1860. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. Lactose Intolerant? It could be a good thing Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions. Lactose intolerant individuals have huge problems with gas from the inability to process certain dairy products and foods. Essential Laughter Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in life. It is so refreshing to just laugh at your slips, peculiarities, forgetfulness, and fumbles. Internet is My True Agent You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time there is a pen and paper on the table, they will be sketching something down, with a mysterious smile, giggling quietly and making funny faces. Stopping Bad Breath Bart "Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar for a week."OK, so I can be a little candid every now and then. Sweet Vengeance Purrfected I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily. Voodoo Munchies Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness. And the World Goes Round If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you are permitted to snicker at this problem. Anchorage, Alaska, just opened its first two roundabouts at a major intersection. American Independence - The True Story It was late in 1775, and King George III was at Buckingham Palace, sitting in reflective mood on his commode. His 13 year old son Prince George (yes, they were very imaginative with their names, those royal types), was sitting on the floor nearby, otherwise occupied with the 18th century equivalent of Game Boy: a model soldier with a rifle sat on a model elephant, shooting at a model tiger two planks of wood away. Humans are like Monkeys Humans think much like monkeys and other primates, not much different in their abilities to reason. Why is this? We mimic, copy, imitate that which we see. Its All About Seeing the Signs Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs - and I don't like most of them. Space, and the Room for It Space exploration came a long way since I was the size of a measurable amount of it.I remember with some pain, my first ride on a penny farthing with its big wheel and long spokes that were well engineered to cut a foot or two off anyone's legs. Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasuresis delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker. Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way. To See Or Not To See I went to the eye doctor the other day. I thought it was time to have my eyes checked. Beyond Black and White Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a cup of coffee?" he asks. "I just roasted the latest batch. Funny Things We Dream I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss. |
home | site map | contact us |