Consultants - If We Cant Laugh At Ourselves?

There are hundreds of varieties of Consultants these days. We can find Consultants to take care of our diets, our physical well being, our mental well being, and pretty much anything you can imagine when it comes to business.

The story below might just indicate that we take ourselves a little too seriously sometimes.

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Beemer advanced out of the dust clouds towards him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, and a Zegna tie, leaned out his window and asked the shepherd, "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?"

The shepherd looked at the man, then looked at his peacefully grazing flock, and calmly answered, "Sure."

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his IBM ThinkPad, connected it to a cell phone, and surfed to a NASA page on the Internet. He called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened both a database, and an Excel spreadsheet with complex macro formulas. He then sent an email on his Blackberry, and after a few minutes he received a response. Finally, he prints out a 150-page report on his hi-tech miniaturized printer in the car, then turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1623 sheep."

"That is correct, take one of the sheep" said the shepherd. He then watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car. Then the shepherd says, " If I can tell you exactly what you do for a living, will you give me back my beast?"

"O.K., why not?" answered the man.

"Clearly you're a consultant" sad the shepherd. "That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered the shepherd. "You turned up here, although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know a thing about my business. Now give me back my dog."

The lesson seems to be to keep my Consulting assignment to the things I know about. I think I'm safe because sheep scare me.

Dennis Schooley is the Founder of Schooley Mitchell Telecom Consultants, a Professional Services Franchise Company. He writes for publication, as well as for schooleymitchell.blogging.com and franchises.blogging.com, in the subject areas of Franchising, and Technology for the Layman. http://www.schooleymitchell.com, 888-311-6477, dschooley@schooleymitchell.com.


More Resources

Where Do I Go From Here?
Making Your Future Work Better For YouIt's the commonest concern people have about their careers. Where am I heading? Is this the right direction for me? How can I tell what will suit me best? Making good career decisions doesn't have to be agony if you clear away a few misconceptions.
College Labor is Available in Ohio
Ohio has always been big on education and that means a bright, energetic and reliable workforce for expanding businesses. A business which wants to expand its number of outlets should be looking strongly at the Ohio market place as there are many very strong and economically viable areas to do business.
Necessary Psychological Skills When Working in the Executive Protection Field
The "hard" skills necessary for an executive protection specialist (EPS) and/or personal protection specialist (PPS) are often perceived as being that of a policeman or (elite) soldier. Though there can be certain similarities i.
Top Ten Guidelines For Working With Executive Recruiters
1. Select the right type of recruitment partnerDetermine whether you would be best served by a retained, contingency, contract or research based partner at a global, national or local level.
Why Human Resources Are The Real Key To Success In This Information Age
The rapid changes that have mainly been brought about by the information age are numerous and irreversible. They have affected our way of life on virtually every front and have left many old companies in ruins while causing other new ones to swiftly emerge and grow to great unprecedented profitability, literally overnight.
What Did You Say?
My table-mates introduced themselves as the reciprocal protocol began. We chatted about what we did, where we did it and what we thought of the conference.
The Inevitable Job Interview Question: "Why Did You Leave (Are Planning To Leave) Your Last Position
This is a question that you can almost count on being asked at your next interview What the interviewer wants to know is, "Why are you available?"The answer you give could set the tone for the rest of the interview. For instance, if you were to indicate that you were bored or burned out at your last job, the interviewer would quickly become concerned about your performance at this company.
How to Answer The Most Difficult Interview Questions
The following 'difficult' questions are common to most tricky or adversarial interviews. In order to convince the interviewer that you are the best person for the job, you must prepare and rehearse your answers meticulously.
7 Tips to Deal With a Bad Performance Review
Q. "I wasn't happy with my last performance review.
Common Résumé Mistakes
Using a general résumé.DON'T DO IT! You cannot successfully use the same résumé to apply to several different jobs.
Employees, Get Used to Working under Surveillance
Let's face it. Monitoring employees' e-mail, tracking their Internet use, logging everything done at keyboards has become the norm in Corporate America.
Make Your Resume Keyword Rich and Scanner Friendly
If you haven't looked for a job recently, there are new tactics that hiring professionals are using that you should be aware of before updating your resume.Employers and recruiters increasingly rely on electronic resumes, resume posting boards and job banks to find job candidates.
Why Do Interviews Die: That Sinking Feeling and How to Prevent it!
Interviews die because a mistake occurred. Sometimes, you've made a mistake; sometimes they die because someone who screened a resume did.
Writing Great Cover Letters
Cover letters are an essential ingredient to your complete résumé package. This is the best opportunity for you to demonstrate your personal character, knowledge of the company and your business writing skills.
9 Tips on Creating a Professional Emailed Job Application
With the advent of the Internet, many of us have the opportunity to apply for work through email.However, just because this is the Internet and email is so fast and convenient, that does NOT mean you should give up professionalism and polish!FIRST IMPRESSIONS COUNT.
Make A Lasting Impression With Interview Etiquette
(Des Moines, Iowa - February 2, 2005) Behaving appropriately during every course of an interview is just one way to increase your success with finding a job. Here are some tips to consider before you're seated across from your interviewer.
Stepping Stone Jobs
What we name something matters.It sets a tone that alters our attitude.
Ask the Recruiter
We all have career goals, big or small. Here are some questions I have recieved over the last month from those actively seeking new employment.
You're Ready for a Career Change - Is Your Resume?
You finally did it. You made the decision to leave a career that makes you dread every Monday morning and pursue one that you feel is your true calling.
Searching for a Federal Job
Many years ago searching for a federal job was a long, complicated and drawn out process. Today, it has been become far less complex and is now just a three-step process.

More Careers & Employment Information:

Related Articles

Get Beyond Your Tasks
Ever hear the story of the two masons working side by side at a building site? They're doing the same work under pretty much the same conditions. Then, one day a stranger comes along, approaches one of the men and asks him, "What are you doing?" "I don't know and I don't care," replies the man, his voice brimming with irritation.
References: Choose Wisely
Sophisticated job seekers know and understand that sometime during the interview and hiring process you will be asked to supply references. With this in mind, here are five concepts to focus on in developing your reference list.
Job Tips For The Frustrated Job Seeker
There is nothing more frustrating and depressing when you are out of work and trying to find a job and your job search is going no where. Don't feel bad, you are not alone and there is a good reason why searching for a new job can be so difficult.
From The WorkWise Collection: Ten Ways to Win the Job Search Mind Game
Are you one of the thousands of job seekers who question their sanity, marketability, and capacity to make smart decisions-just because you've lost your job? Are you wondering how to overcome these psychological challenges, rebuild your self-confidence, increase your marketability, and regain your sense of sanity?In today's competitive job market you need more than a killer résumé and great interviewing skills to survive. Twenty-first-century job seekers must be able to deal with ambiguity, maintain a winner's mindset, demonstrate customer focus, and have a blow-your-socks-off résumé and excellent interviewing skills.
Get Off Your Butt and Out of the Rut
It's amazing to see so many people who are prepared to sacrifice their lives for the sake of their careers.I'm sure you know of someone like that.
Is A Career a Calling or Choice?
How much of our career path is destiny and how much is free will? In my opinion, it is 50/50. We are given a life map at the beginning of our lives, and there are things we are meant to learn, people we are meant to meet, work we are meant to perform.
3 Creative Job Search Tactics
It's a fact: the best jobs attract loads of competition. So it pays to do whatever you can to stand out as a persistent, creative candidate, one that any sane employer would love to hire.
21st Century Career Success
When it comes to modern career development, one thing we can all count on is change. With the advent of technology, telecommuting, and E-commerce, how work is performed is in a state of reinvention.
Corporate World: Jungle Or Paradise?
The road to the top is not easy, it is bumpy and dirty. Along the way, we meet interesting creatures.
Drive Your Career Change - A Direct Approach
If your career has gone off the road, take control and drive back to job satisfaction with a direct approach.When you're looking for that new job or a career move it's easy to think that 'they' hold all the cards.
Resumes and First impressions
Hunting for a position in a new career field? Trying to take your new education or skills and transform them into a job with a future?I've spent the last few weeks working in a placement service trying to help people find that first "career" job; trying to help them make the transition from student to employee. I see the same mistakes over and over again.
Hello Work World, Im Un-Retiring
For many years, you looked forward to that day when you would bid the world of work a fond farewell and ride off into the sunset of your golden years.Initially, it felt wonderful not to have to go somewhere each morning.
Seven Tips to a Job-Winning Interview
These days, interviews don't come easily. When you get The Call, make the most of your time -- and go for it!1.
Back to School for a Career Change
Q. I hate my job as a computer consultant.
Why Employers Want an Employee with a Degree
You wake up in the morning, head to work, and find out your company is downsizing and you are being laid off. No big deal you think, you have experience, you've worked at the same company for years.
How to Reach Your Next Job Faster with Fewer Potholes, Roadblocks
Complacency damages your career more than lack of qualifications. The most obvious roadblock you'll encounter on the race to find your next job is usually regrets about skills, education, and professional knowledge.
How To Receive Payment as a Freelance Translator?
A problem most freelance translators are facing with is how to receive payment. In particular: How to receive payment for small jobs.
Ten Things About Your Career Development
There are some tactics you can action whatever you wish for from your career. Whatever you might think right now, you have all the tools you need for a career which give you joy and fulfilment.
Make Your Resume Keyword Rich and Scanner Friendly
If you haven't looked for a job recently, there are new tactics that hiring professionals are using that you should be aware of before updating your resume.Employers and recruiters increasingly rely on electronic resumes, resume posting boards and job banks to find job candidates.
Unemployment Survival: Creating a Sense of Security
In a time of economic downturn, international turmoil, company restructuring and corporate mergers run amok, thousands of people are either out of work or fearful of losing their jobs.Is there, then, such a thing as job security?No job, in itself, is totally secure.