Get Rich Writing Fiction

Some of us write simply because we can't not write. Ideas grabus, move us, and demand to be written. We strive to make it asreal as we possibly can, to improve at our craft every day,hopefully to make it into the realm of literature as well asentertainment. We want to craft an entire world where the placesand people are so real that the reader doesn't feel like he'sreading a book as much as he is going to another place. In thelofty world of literature that we strive for, the reader willstill think about the book after reading that last page. It'sour gift to the reader, something to take with him. Givensufficient skill, this can even happen long after we are dead.

Then we learn that doesn't sell. Oh, there are exceptions. Somenovelists make a living by consistently writing qualityliterature. But, there are quite a few best sellers who have nosuch goals. They write for money, and they make it.

Even the writer who has written great literature has troublemarketing it that way. We have to look at our "target audience."Who will buy this book? Let me see, our heroine survived spousalabuse, so there's an audience. There's a suicide, so we can getthe bereavement crowd. Where's the setting? We can get a localaudience. The hero's a cop. Maybe the teen boys will go for that.Nah, too light on action. But there's a romance. Maybe we'llmarket to the romance readers. Give the hero bedroom eyes andpass him off as a romantic hero. Yeah, that might work.

But if you want to write to get rich, even that's not enough.Nah, the time to think about your reader is before you writethe book, not after.

Throw in lots of gratuitous sex, preferably extramarital. One(and only one) character who flirts and is sorely tempted andwalks away from "love" to remain true to his wife.

Use taboo words for shock value. Ram, hump, scream, oral sex,voluptuous, female orgasm (the great revelation). Make sure alot of your leads enjoy sex. Horny women are a good way to pullin the readers you want. We all know men are horny, but most ofyour readers haven't discovered that some women enjoy sex too.Tell them this. Give the female readers a balm for theirconsciences and the male readers someone to dream about.

Your heroine should be tough, sweet, sensitive, and very horny,and has to think she's not attractive even though every guy inthe book except her husband falls off his chair with a tent inhis pants.

Don't let the length of a novel faze you. Just throw some peopleon the stage, move them around a bit, and get them into bed.Then, change the rules so they have to move around a bit againand get them back into bed. (It doesn't always have to be a bed.Office desks and car seats work too.) When the book's long enough,stop. Don't worry about the "climax," because people areclimaxing all over the place.

Exotic locales. Foreign countries with beaches. Lots of richpeople. Remember that you're writing for the lowest commondenominator, because they spend most of the money that you'retrying to reel in. Make it sleazy. No one ever went brokeunderestimating the public.

How to publish? To do it right, write the sales pitch before youwrite the book. Make sure the book follows the pitch and theformula. If your cover letter alone has eight typos, no problem.Nobody cares. The publisher will wanna rush this baby to printand get you, or an attractive stand-in, doing as many TVappearances as possible before the book reviewers have time todraw breath. Heck, your target market doesn't read book reviewsanyway! Also keep in mind that once that reader buys your book,you've won. They won't get a refund just because you'reilliterate. So don't worry about hiring an editor. Hire apublicist!

Think Hollywood. You want your book to become a movie. Itdoesn't have to be a good movie, because most of them aren't. Itjust has to sell, baby, sell! Write parts for all the hotteststars. True, today's hottest stars will have faded by the timethey start filming your movie, but no matter. Someone just likethem will replace them.

I've been doing it wrong for all these years. I started writingover 20 years ago, and the five books I have on the shelves areenough to make it a hobby that barely pays for itself. Meanwhile,I work at a job for my money. But if you follow my advice, youwon't make the same mistakes I have. You'll get rich!

Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca

Michael LaRocca's website at http://www.chinarice.org waschosen by WRITER'S DIGEST as one of The 101 Best WebsitesFor Writers in 2001 and 2002. His response was to throw itout and start over again because he's insane. He teachesEnglish at a university in Hangzhou, Zhejiang Province,China, and publishes the free weekly newsletter WHO MOVEDMY RICE?

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Book Marketing Information:

Related Articles

The Perfect Book and Where to Find It!
If I was asked to describe the perfect book, one that's in high demand, moves off the shelves quickly, costs little or nothing to produce, involves the least amount of work possible, and offers multi-income streams, I'd say it included one, preferably more of the following features:It Must Be Quick To ProduceTime is money and the sooner your book is ready to sell, the sooner you'll make money from it.So let us consider just a handful of many ways to create a book in a day, or less than a day, perhaps in just a few minutes!1) Profit From Resell RightsResell rights - a confusing term with conflicting definitions, but a great way to acquire best selling books quickly, at little cost, complete with marketing materials, web sites, representing the easiest and fastest way to start your publishing business.
Best Sellers Aren't Written - They're Made - It's All About Promotion
Writing a book is becoming more and more of a trend these days. In fact, an estimated 5,000 mystery books were published last year in the United States alone, and that number is expected to grow.
Top Ten Basics on Internet Article Writing to Promote your Book
Whether you have already written articles and published them or not, you may want to check out the difference between writing for online ezines and web sites and writing for print media. While some writing concepts work for both, online writing needs a shorter, more focused approach.
How to Get More Readers For Your Book
Marketing your own book can seem like a scary task. You poured your heart and soul into the writing of it, and now when you think about marketing your masterpiece, you think, "I'm a writer, not a salesperson!"But there is a simple way you can get the word out about your book.
Book Talks: What to Say and How to Say It
Great! The Chamber of Commerce, or a similar group, has asked you to talk about your latest book. Though words are your business, you may terrified of public speaking.
Dont Clone your Book or Business Marketing
Remember that the miracle of cloning sheep has its drawbacks. The main one--dying young.
Titles (and Subtitles) Sell Books!
Does a title really sell a book? The short answer is, yes. If a book does not attract a reader initially, it will be overlooked and not purchased.
Your Book Marketing Plan - Winning Strategies and Tips
Many authors hit a roadblock when it comes to putting together and implementing a book marketing plan. You know you need to have one, you have a vague idea of what it needs to include, but pulling it all together into a step-by-step plan of attack is not nearly as easy as it sounds.
7 Vital Book Promotion Tips
As a literary publicist I often am asked about publicity tips, tricks, and the magic behind my work. It's not magic.
Book Marketing 101- Book Publicity for Authors -- Creating a Book Publicity Campaign
Publicity is that elusive thing that can make or break your book - in all sorts of ways! Learning to promote you and your book is something that can take a bit of "re-training" for most new authors (and many old-timers too). Publicity is really all about selling your idea (and you), but all too often the word "selling" brings up images of polyester clad used-car salesmen, telemarketers, and strong-arm sales strategies that do nothing but alienate your intended customer.
Increase Book Sales: When a Book is No Longer Just a Book for Sale
Do you have books sitting in your garage that you haven't sold yet and looking for ways to move them? Then you will want to know about these five outrageous ideas that aren't difficult and can be just plain out fun. Dede Hall, author of The Starving Student's Cookbook had very poor sales for her books.
Oh No! A Bad Book Review! Have No Fear...Advice For Dealing With The Blues Of A Bad Book Review
You've just been notified a review of your book has been posted. You're all excited and can't wait to see what has been written.
Book Marketing 101 for the Self-Published Author -- Getting Started
No matter what any publisher or marketing company tells you (even the traditional publishing houses), you, the author, are almost 100% the reason your book will sell.It is your belief, excitement, enthusiasm, and energy that will get a reader excited about buying your book.
Persistent Offline Promotion and Eyeball-To-Eyeball Selling Pay Off Big For Self-Published Authors
Face it, writing and printing your self-published book are relatively easy tasks, compared with all the other requirements for marketing it successfully.
Successful Book Marketing The Natural Way - Part 2
Is your mind muddy on book marketing? Do you wake up each day and say, "I'm not a social person and I hate to beat the drum for my book" or "I just wish someone else could market my book for me"?If you could market your book a pleasurable way, you may not think it a chore. Natural marketing refers to the action you take to get the word out about your service and product that rings true to your heart.
Book Club Sales -- Increasing the Odds
What is a book club sale? It is actually a rights sale or a licensing agreement: you are granting permission to a book club the right to "borrow" your work. You have written a book, and now you are allowing a book club to print and distribute your book to its members.
Top Ten Non-Techie Steps to Market your Book Online
Are you an author who is looking for new ways to promote your book or business? Does the traditional promotion you do take too long and not bring you top results? Are you willing to investigate easy non-techie ways to get more book buyers?Check out these ten steps within "Ten Non-Techie Ways to Market your Book Online:"Step1. Ten Steps Preparation and FoundationWhen marketing your book Online, you need to attract the right customers to your Web site.
Secrets to Selling Books by Mail
This is intended for informational purposes only. Selling books by mail is one of the "ideal" spare-time business ventures that can be operated from your home, and with minimal investment.
Navigating the Amazon Sales Ranking
First, the disclaimers: Since the algorithm Amazon uses to generate its sales ranking is proprietary, the details contained herein are extrapolated from research and field tests. The resulting consensus finds Amazon's system to provide marginal sales data at best.
Marketing Virus - Every Writer Needs to Catch It
For you writers aspiring to greatness, you might need a virus, before you can be great! You need a Marketing Virus. Every unknown writer needs a virus that will spread like the deadliest bug known to man.