Dealing with Disappointment


By Rebecca McClain

Disappointment is a fact of life. Whether it’s the loan that was declined, the promotion that you didn’t get or someone you trusted didn’t come through. We all will deal with challenges from time to time.

I remember the disappointment I felt when an opportunity for a promotion was snatched from my grasp. I was qualified, my performance reviews had always been rated above average and I was next in line for the position. Hurt and confused, I could not understand why God had permitted it to happen. My first inclination was to file a lawsuit. I sought the counsel of a pastor friend and explained what happened and the course of action I was considering. He asked me the sobering question, “Did you really want the job or are you just upset that you didn’t get it?” After a brief pause I had to admit that the position really wasn’t that glamorous, but it was the principle that mattered. To which he responded, “Why expend all of your energy fighting for something you really don’t want, and risk being sabotaged in the process?” That was my wake-up call. The pursuit of my true passion was birthed out of that experience. Were it not for that closed door I probably would not be living my dream today. It was not a pleasant experience, but it turned my attention toward a greater door of opportunity.

When you find yourself facing disappointment rather assuming the role of the victim, look for the silver lining. To maintain control of your life in the face of the challenge:

Calm down. Avoid taking action while you’re still upset. Calm down so that you’re in the right frame of mind to think rationally through the situation.

Acknowledge your feelings. It’s natural to experience some anguish when your expectations have been dashed. But don’t get stuck in the trap of having a pity party. Make a decision that you’re going to move on.

Talk to a trusted friend. Sharing your experience with another person helps to release your frustration. The other personcan be a source of wisdom and insight by helping you to put things into perspective.

Don’t blame anyone (including yourself). You can’t always change another person’s actions and attitude toward you. When someone has done you wrong, as tempting as it may be, do not allow the hurt to fester inside of you; let it go for your own sake. Take your focus off on what you cannot control and focus on the things that you can change.

Seek what you can learn from the experience. Seek to understand what there is to be gained from the experience. Believe that there is something better in store for you.

You can waste a lot of time and misery reacting to events in a knee-jerk fashion. Dealing with disappointments as an opportunity to grow will help to keep your priorities straight and progressively move forward. Whether the challenge works for your good depends entirely upon what you choose to focus on.

Take Action Challenge: Carve a tunnel of hope through the dark mountain of disappointment. –Dr. Martin Luther King

Rebecca McClain is founder of Life Treasures LLC, a life enrichment company. As an entrepreneur, author, speaker and life coach, she is recognized as an expert in personal and professional success.


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