Relationships Information

Relationship Advice: 10 Ways to Prevent a Break Up


The question I am asked most often is: I think he/she is getting ready to leave me. What do I do? There isn't an easy answer for this or there wouldn't be any break ups. Every situation is different and sometimes breakups are inevitable. However this is not always the case and there are things you can do before you reach the breaking point that will help.

Here are the 10 most important things:

  • Communicate. Communication is important. If you find that when you try to communicate your feelings to your partner it always leads to an argument, try writing your feelings down. Read through what you've written. If you find things that are just petty problems with no real validity, eliminate them. Try to find the sources behind your words. For example, jealousy, are you jealous because you know he/she is cheating, or does it go deeper? Did someone cheat on you in the past and now you don't trust anyone? Is your partner giving you what you need to feel secure? Once you realize where the feelings are coming from, you can address fixing the problem.
  • Resist making accusations. Approach your partner calmly, without being defensive. Tell him/her the problem. Don't be accusing or they will become defensive and yes, you will end up in an argument. If you find it's easier to write it in a letter, then do so. Leave while they read it so you aren't hovering over them, waiting for their reaction. Let them process what you have said. Again, do not be accusing. Tell them you want to make your relationship better. Have suggestions for BOTH of you, not just them. Be sure you know the core problem and aren't just mentioning a symptom.
  • Refrain from insulting your partner during arguments. Fighting dirty can quickly become a habit and eventually someone will say something that the other person cannot forget, or worse, forgive.
  • Take time to tell your partner why you love him/her. Not once, but often. This can be something as small as a compliment on how they look. Your partner needs to know you appreciate them. Don't just assume they know. Everyone likes to be reminded they are loved.
  • Be supportive and look for ways to give your partner the things they need the most. Even if they don't tell you what they need, you can figure it out if you pay attention. Some people have a hard time telling you what they need but there are clues. If you're not sure, ask.
  • Don't neglect yourself. If your needs aren't being met, find a way to let your partner know. If you are unhappy, you will eventually blame your partner. It's much easier to let them know, in a positive way, the things you need.
  • Never try to solve a problem when you are angry. Take time to cool down. I know this can seem impossible at times but think about it. Is anything ever really solved when you are yelling at each other?
  • Set aside some time for just the two of you. If not once a week, then at least once a month. This should be quality, alone time, however you two choose to spend it. You might try arranging a specific day each week and take turns planning what you will do.
  • Discuss decisions that affect the both of you and try to find a solution that will keep you both happy. Never make an important decision that affects you both without talking to your partner.
  • Don't Lie! Everyone lies occasionally. It's in our nature. This isn't an excuse to lie to your partner. Every time you are caught in a lie, a little more trust is taken away. A healthy relationship requires trust. Never ever lie about things important to the relationship. You're better off facing the music if you've done something wrong then being caught in a lie.
  • This won't keep you together but it is important to mention. Know when it's time to leave and make the break. Don't let anyone use you or abuse you. Most problems can be worked out if both people in the relationship make an effort to improve things. There are some exceptions. It's time to leave if the relationship becomes abusive. Do not hope things will get better because he/she says they will change. Leave! If at some future time they actually do change, you can consider getting back together then. Another deal breaker is infidelity. If your partner cheats on you, there is a good chance that even if you do stay together, the trust that keeps a relationship alive will be gone. I'm not saying you can't survive it, but it will take a great deal of effort from both people and your partner will have to stop. Never give them more than one chance to do so or you will be setting yourself up for a very destructive emotional roller coaster. If your partner sees that it's possible to cheat and you will keep forgiving, why would they change?

    • ©2005 Patricia Fason

    Patricia Fason is a writer and poet whose main focus is relationships. For more articles on relationships visit her website dedicated to romance, Sites O Web Romances You. There you will find articles, poetry, romance tips, romantic gifts and much more.

    MORE RESOURCES:
    Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting     		RELATED ARTICLES
    Feel Like a (Romantic) Kid Again
    If the start of the school year makes you a little nostalgic about your own school days, why not take a little trip: back to your own childhood! Make a date with that special someone and act like children again. You'll soon see that this child-like fun can be just as romantic as a grown-up date (and a whole lot easier on the budget!)Buy some bubble gum.
    The Three Rings of Relationships
    Glenna Trout is an international authority on face reading whose name I first registered in the context of Domestic Violence. (She contributed to The Kent Constabulary's extraordinarily informative leaflet on Domestic Violence.
    Romancing The Senses
    Romance can be experienced in numerous ways, but it is best enjoyed when you get all your senses in on the action. The following are suggestions for getting the most out of romance, one sense at a time.
    Lifelong Partners, Lifelong Growth
    Many people, maybe even you, think there is only one life partner for each of us in our lives. I've got good news - we all have many, many life partners.
    Link Romantic Feelings To The Sight Of Your Face
    Anchoring is an NLP (neuro-linguistic programming) term used to describe the mind's tendency to associate two unrelated events or experiences, especially when a strong emotion is present.For example, if your mother fed you chicken soup when you were ill as a child, you will always associate chicken soup to being loved and cared for.
    Great Relationships: What to Do When You Have Drifted Apart
    Picture, if you will, the following scene:A man and woman, somewhere in the great expanse of middle age, walk into a sandwich shop and sit down. They don't speak to each other.
    8 Keys to Lasting Love
    My granddaughter, Merritt Miles, was the inspiration for this CD, 8 Keys to Lasting Love. When Merritt was five years old I read a fairy tale to her and was very disturbed by the ending, "And they lived happily ever after.
    Are You Chasing Dollars or Your Kids?
    Striking a perfect balance between work and home todaycan be difficult task for most of us. However, do you everwonder if your spending too much time chasing money andnot enough with your children?Everything in moderation right? Haven't we been told thiscountless times and yet still we tend to find ourselvesconstantly plunging into excess.
    Setting Boundaries: Business Clients and Boyfriends
    Setting boundaries is necessary in any human relationship.Whether you're dealing with an overly demanding business client or a boyfriend with wandering hands, sometimes you just have to say "No!"In fact, there are many parallels creating successful relationships with business clients and boyfriends.
    Romantic Tips - Gift Giving
    I believe that we have all heard of the standard romantic gifts. Chocolate, flowers, and jewelry, but there is something to be said for the man who thinks out side the box when gift giving holidays roll around.
    Long Distance Relationships - Not Always a Bad Thing
    You hate it, but it's happened - the love of your life has to travel abroad. Will it be days, weeks, or even months before you'll see them again? Many people have had to face this situation, and what many of them never consider is the ways in which it can make your relationship stronger.
    A Gift From the Heart of a Friend
    She stares at me and then closes her eyes. A tinge of early dawn plays on her cheek as it peeks through the glass curtains by my desk.
    Relationship Advice: Who Are You and What Have You Done with My Spouse?
    "When we marry, we don't marry one person, we marry three. The person we think they are, the person they really are and the person they will become as a result of marrying us.
    What Every Woman Should Know About Men and Romance
    Men and women think differently about romance.Men are goal-oriented.
    Diamond Solitaire Rings - The Ultimate In Engagement Rings
    There are no better rings to seal your engagement than diamond solitaire rings. The ultimate in diamond rings, diamond solitaire rings are the only ring for the woman who wants the best in wedding jewelry.
    Finding Love With Feng Shui
    If true love has been eluding you, you could increase the chances of meeting someone you fancy by activating the Romance sector in your home.Where can you find your Romance sector?One way is by using your Chinese horoscope.
    Relationship Advice: Wash that (Bad) Man Out of Your Hair
    Stuck on a guy who cheats on you? Lies? Claims he loves you but can't marry you because a) his wife won't divorce him, b) his last relationship ended so painfully it nearly killed him, or c) he can't make a commitment until his kids are in college?Here's how to get unstuck:1) Understand that you have no control over the situation. You can't make a man love you the way you deserve to be loved, you can't keep him faithful, you can't force him to tell the truth.
    Seduction Secrets For Men Part 3 - A Wonderful Idea To Spice Up Your Existing Relationships
    There is a cool little game for spicing up your long-term or fuck-buddy relationships.Here is how:Both you and your girlfriend have to get 20 pieces of paper and make 20 different cards.
    How To Tell If Someone You Meet In An Online Profile Or Advert Is Married/Partnered Or A Troll - 2
    Troll Detection Made EasyDue to their overwhelming lack of social skills, the gayman's 'trolls' aren't that hard to detect if you know whatto look for.The majority of them are usually oblivious to anyone oranything but themselves, and thus behave in a way thatmakes you shudder with embarrassment.
    Love is not Something you Say, Its Something you Do
    Many have problems with communication and using that "love" word. We all do need to hear those special words once in a while, but there are some great ways to say I love you non verbally.

    home | site map | contact us