Married With Problems? Therapy May Help

Married With Problems? Therapy May Help (390)

(NewsUSA) - Relationships are hard. Ask any couple who has been married for any length of time, and they will wholeheartedly agree.

Supporting this fact is that, according to the website www.divorcerate.org, the national divorce rate is somewhere between 40 percent and 50 percent, depending on the age range of the couple. Not exactly overwhelming odds for success.

And yet, there are those couples who manage to stay together -- in sickness and in health, through emotional detachment, depression, infidelity, and a host of other problems -- until "death do they part."

So, how do they do it?

For some, a good marriage counselor is the secret.

In VH-1's reality series "Couples Therapy," for example, Dr. Jenn Berman attempts to help celebrity couples like DMX and his wife, Tashera Simmons, navigate their issues. In one episode, X admits that, when faced with uncomfortable situations, he usually walks away so he doesn't have to deal with them.

While there was a time that society attached a stigma to counseling, now it would seem that it could be a couple's last, best chance at recovery and a lasting relationship.

If you are considering seeing a marriage counselor, the following do's and don'ts might help you get the most out of the experience:

* Do acknowledge that there is a problem. Typically, one partner fails to see a problem where the other partner does. To this end, both partners need to accept that the problem exists.

* Do take responsibility. It is rare that one partner is solely responsible for problems in the marriage. Owning your part -- through actions, deeds, and words or the lack of them -- is paramount to resolving the conflict.

* Do change your behavior. While this may be the most difficult step, it is the one thing that could salvage a relationship. This can include doing or not doing (and saying or not saying) certain things. The rule of thumb is simple: if any action, word, or deed will be hurtful to your partner, then don't do it.

* Don't have unreasonable expectations. The role of a marriage counselor is to help a couple understand one another better, not "fix" the perceived wrong in one or the other partner. The change is for both partners to make and maintain.

When in doubt, remember the Golden Rule: treat people the way you would want to be treated.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Relationships Information:

Related Articles

The 4 Stages of a Relationship
1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months.
A Guide to Relationship Quizzes
Sometime in the 1950's, women's magazines started publishing relationship quizzes in their pages with a complex scoring system that arrived at a number. This number was then plotted on a scale and the reader could determine, based upon that number, whether their relationship was "good" or not.
Relationships That Really Last: Is This the Secret?
In my e-book, How to Build Relationships That Stick, I told over a story I once heard in the name of a famous relationships counselor who talks on radio shows. It was claimed to be an authentic account of something that happened in real life, but even if it's apocryphal, I'm very much inclined to believe it could happen.
To Know You Is To Love You
How do you show someone you love them? Do you buy them expensive gifts? Spend quality time together? Make personal sacrifices just to see them smile? Dedicate a song to them? Write a love letter or note of encouragement? Become their cheerleader? Those are wonderful things to do but my question goes deeper then those types of activities, even beyond your romantic partner. Think about your parents, your children, your best friend, your sister, or your brother.
Extended Family Relationships: Staying Friends with Former Lovers and Spouses
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. BurkIt's natural to want to maintain a relationship with our former romantic partners (assuming that the relationship ended on reasonably good terms, of course).
The Narcissist and His Family
We are all members of a few families in our lifetime: the one that we are born to and the one(s) that we create. We all transfer hurts, attitudes, fears, hopes and desires - a whole emotional baggage - from the former to the latter.
The Type of Woman Men Fall in Love With
I'd like to shed some light on something that women have been puzzled about for centuries, and that is the type of women men fall in love with. There have been so many books written on this subject, yet most have not delivered the common sense answers I am going to share with you in this issue of Smart Woman's Guide Newsletter.
You Have to Probe Deeper: Why First Impressions Are Dangerous
Do you remember when, as a small child at a birthday party, you sat wide-eyed and gaping as a magician pulled out a rabbit with a flourish from a seemingly empty top hat? At the time, the wonder of it all left you speechless and full of awe, but like all healthy children, you grew a little wiser as you grew a little older. The next time you were present at such a performance, the "magician" might have turned into a "conjurer.
Confession of the Egoists!
Hamlet has given this generation an awfully amazing and defensive quote "to be or not to be". This article is not at all a serious philosophical one but the humor in life has given birth to a new philosophy.
Coping With A New Culture: Problems And Solutions
Coping with a new culture has never been the easiest job of one's life, for, not only that you miss your friends and family in the new place, you also miss your very own culture. And culture, as the social anthropologists say, is exactly what we do in our life.
Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy
Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite sex and others seem like they don't even know what it means. However, everyone should know how to make their partner's heart melt because it's one of the finest acts of seduction.
Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships
One of the keys to obtaining a better life or living arrangement is to assess the quality of relationships that you surround yourself with. Do you surround yourself with loving relationships or unhealthy relationships? For someone that has a pattern or history with unhealthy relationships, the difference between the two may be difficult to decipher.
How We Define Our Relationships?
We can fall into the habit of complaining about our relationships, but do we really take the time to evaluate them? Maybe not, because well, we're always right! He or she never listens to ME or does things the way I think is right (the human EGO speaking loudly here!).First of all, we need to understand one thing - which we do not live in our parents' or grandparents' time.
My Fairy Tale Is Gone
Dear Candace,My girlfriend and I recently split up. I called her a few days ago and she said that it was over and that she did not want to discuss it with me anymore, that I had gotten on her nerves to the point where she didn't see any point in communicating with me, ever.
Pay Attention! Mastering Communication Skills with Women
One of the biggest complaints women have about men is they just don't listen. This can cause big problems in the relationship.
To Apologize or Not to Apologize...That is the Question
We don't like to say it and we don't always mean it, but despitethe oft-quoted promise from the movie, love DOES mean sayingyou're sorry. Unfortunately the idea seems to have hung aroundlong since the movie was put back on the shelf.
Relationship Conflict: 5 Deadly Mistakes and What to Do Instead
While conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict.
Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 4
Finally, after all of the hard work you have done completing your past, here is a way to break your relationship pattern.Relationship choices are often based on patterns created in our childhood.
The Power of Authenticity
How "powerful" are you?Do you ever cover up how you genuinely feel? Do you ever say what you think you "should," say, based on how you want others to perceive you?Do you ever think you "should" be a certain way?Why?I'll share with you why I did in the past. I "thought" I "should" be a certain way, say certain things, act in the manner that I "thought" would bring me either the results I was attached to, or the acceptance of those I wanted.
To Cheat or Not To Cheat
You know I am getting fed up with people who cheat. That seems to be the norm these days.