Parenting Information

Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System


In today's mental health system there is a pattern of fraud and coercion that takes way the freedoms and dignity of children and their families. Children are receiving stigmatizing labels and being prescribed psychotropic drugs with many untoward effects. Psychiatrist Thomas Szasz, MD made the comment that if an individual hit us with a blackjack and robbed us of our dignity we would call them thugs, yet psychiatrists label and drug children and rob them of their dingity and nothing is said. All in the name of profit. Rarely, if never are the families given informed consent. Szasz has also stated, "From a sociological point of view, psychiatry is a secular institution to regulate domestic relations. From my point of view, it is child abuse." Families are provided with literature that appears so matter of fact but is funded by the pharmaceutical companies and tainted with their bias. According to the Pughkeepsie Journal, the 'support' or should it be said front group for Children diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder received substantial funds from the pharmaceutical companies: "CHADD received $315,000 from drug companies in the year ending June 2000, about 12 percent of its budget."

Children are being beaten, improperly restrained, physically and sexually abused, and emotionally scarred in residential treatment programs. Juvenile probation officials are failing to understand the emotional distress of our children, they are submitting to this "psychiatric Gestapo". Educators rather than finding new methods of shaping our children's learning are falling into the trap of psychiatric 'solutions' as well. Never could it be that a school has simply failed to help a child learn, rather it is always the child denigrated and labeled as 'disordered'. There are loving and concerned parents, and there are others who lack love and compassion towards their children. There are loving and concerned parents who become duped by the 'professionals'. Below are some actual stories of experiences in my work as a therapist with children as well as one story submitted to me by a concerned and struggling parent. I share them to give some perspective as to what is occurring.

I share this scenario because sadly it is becoming a frightening reality: A child is considered overly active and has behavioral issues at school. The school staff may recommend psychiatric intervention and even go as far as to say that medication is necessary, even designating which one. The child sees the psychiatrist for a brief session- t is never examined if the child has any physical conditions, allergies, etc. Immediately the child is labeled and given a dose of psychostimulant. The child develops side effects such as weight loss, insomnia, and possible tics. In order to counteract the insomnia, a new drug such as Klonidine is added. The child develops emotional lability and has crying episodes and manic behaviors. The psychiatrist is seen again for a brief time, and on this visit its determined that 'bipolar is emerging'. The child is then given Depakote or some other mood stablizer. The child now must receive regular blood tests to insure that liver toxicity does not arise. The child is not overly active, he is quite docile, so it is reported that improvement has occurred. However, with the combination of drugs, he develops some psychotic like symptoms where he feels something is crawling on him and has some hallucinations. The psychiatrist is consulted again, and its determined that bipolar with psychotic features exists or maybe even the possibility of childhood schizophrenia. The child is then given Risperdal or another neuroleptic. Strangely, the child begins developing unusual jaw movements and muscle rigidity. The parents are concerned and ask the psychiatrist if this is medication related and if the child is overmedicated. The psychiatrist brushes off the question and prescribes Cogentin (used for Parkinson's) to alleviate the neurological problems but fails to remove the offending agent. The child's behavior becomes more unusual and bizarre leading to hospitalization where medications are raised and adjusted and new ones added. Then the recommendation comes from the psychiatrist that it would be better for the child to be moved to a residential treatment facility. While in the residential facility, the child is frequently restrained and is injured, he is placed with other children with serious emotional and behaviorla distress. he is discharged home having absorbed alot of new negative behaviors from peers, lacking knowledge of the outside world, and with few skills. So, once the child nears adulthood, it is recommended that he live in a group home where he can be cared for and the psychiatric regiment can be maintained. The child has been 'treated.'

This is all based on true incidents with names changed to preserve confidentiality.

I worked with a teen who had experienced sexual trauma by a relative. The relative was arrested and sentenced. The teen was asked to attend the setencing hearing and prior began acting out at school. She had an incident where she left the classroom to de-escalate after an argument with a teacher. She was restrained by a rather obese school staff. The teen explained to me that sher was frustrated with the school because a number of boys were exposing themselves to her and knew about her sexual trauma and that school staff did not respond. She was charged with disorderly conduct and had to appear before a juvenile judge. The judge was made aware of her sexual trauma and her need to be at the sentencing hearing. He locked her in juvenile detention for 10 days and said, 'we will transport her from detention to the hearing." The teen ahd no previous juvenile arrests. In this situation, Attorney Jana Markus was also became involved and after consulting with the District Attorney's office was able to secure her release and to encourage that she be recommended for homebound education. The school district has agreed not without some contention, particularly trying to continue to charge the teen with truancy for the time between her leaving the school and obtaining the recommendation of homebound education.

I received a call from a mother who had a very young child who was displaying some aggressive behaviors which caused the day care to have the child removed until therapeutic services could be provided. The mother took the child to one agency and was told, "you better medicate this child before he tries to kill someone." The mother was appalled. I later spoke to this mother by phone and explained my therapeutic approach. She told me her situation and the response she had received. As I spoke with her at length, she said, "You really care about children." I appreciated this comment but at the same time was saddened as I thought, shouldn't this be said about every person in the mental health profession? What has gone wrong?

A client who is a physician and his wife related that they sought assistance with their child diagnosed with autism and wanted assistance in aiding him with communication skills. They saw a psychiatrist who visited with them fr less than 10 minutes and began writing a script for antipsychotic medication. When the parents noted that they were not there for medications, the psychiatrist became belligerent and asked, 'then what do you want and why are you here?"

A staff of a agency working with mentally challenged adults related to me that the supervisors insisted that a client in the residential program was non-verbal and unable to communicate. This client was left frequently to sit and watch television for hours and privided with no real attention or work on skills development. The staff stated that she sought to engage the client in dialogue and found that he was far from non-verbal and after some work was able to write his name and other words.

In visiting an agency working with mentally challenged youth, I discovered that many of these youth's needs were completely ignored. I recall two incidents of seeing a young girl seated in a chair, the staff gave her paper and markers, and she would sit in the same chair for hours. Every visit she would be seated in the same spout with no one providing attention. Staff would walk past her and she would try to reach for them or hug them. I always made sure to stop and hug her and comment on her drawings. In addition, a young boy would pace incessantly around the building, once again being provided no attention, and no real work being done to aid this child in skill development.

"FAT AND IGNORANT" I was presented with a child who was having some serious behavioral issues at school. I began to examine the situation and my assessment was that this child was in conflict with his teacher and this was the only cause for the behavioral issues. This child had been previously placed on Ritalin which was actually cpurt ordered. The child had a very adverse reaction and fortunatelt was removed. As I have mentioned about the fraud of ADHD, this child I was convinced had no brain disorder as the biological psychiatrists would like us to think. This child was actually quite bright and was on the borderline for qualifying for MENSA. I began to look at the dynamics at school, as it was only here that he posed a problem. I learned as well that this child was witness to abuse and was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. So, as I thought further I saw that the teacher was only aggravating this by his actions. The teacher showed hostility to this child and made him a target, even writing in a journal that the child was 'fat and ignorant." Was it any wonder that the child exhibited behavioral issues in a classroom where he was treated with no dignity? As I suspected, this child was moved to a different school environment where he excelled. The "ADHD" symptoms all disappeared, so much for theories about a brain disorder.

I received a call from a mother who explained to me that her child was in a residential facility and only recently was determined to have a diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder after years of being labeled with 20 assorted diagnoses. She was given Risperdal as well as Ritalin. The mother reported that the child has tardive dyskinesia and was experiencing tremors. The response was to eliminate Risperdal and replace it with a different neuroleptic. This child is now permanently disfigured, and will probably never fully recover from the damage done in the name of 'help'.

I was doing an observation of one of my clients in a school setting when I took note of another child who began a conversation with me and in the process was showing facial grimaces and constant repetitive blinking. I pulled the teacher aside and asked her to examine the child for a minute and tell me if she witnessed anything out of the ordinary. "Well, he keeps making faces and twitching." I asked her, "Why may that be?" "Well, um, I do not know!". I asked her to see what medication the child was taking and if it might be a 'blue pill'. She asked the child and indeed he was taking Adderall, the cause of all his grimaces and contortion. What a price to pay to get a child to 'function' in class!

I was presented with a child who the teacher insisted was ADHD. The school guidance counselor was called in and told the mother, "without a doubt, he is ADHD and could benefit from Ritalin. It helps with academic improvement." I asked the school guidance counselor if he had actually met the child or was going on reports. "No, I have yet to meet him." I then asked him if he could name a study that proved that academic performance could be enhanced and how he was so sure of the ADHD diagnosis." He responded that he knew of no such study and that such diagnosis was based on teacher reports. Where is the science in that? I explained further that studies have actuallt shown that short term improvement in rote learning does occur, but that no long term improvement has ever been shown. The family sought a second opinion from a different psychologist who stated he saw nothing and sent the boy on his way. In this situation, I saw that the child was bright and that he learned in a way that the teacher just plainly was not providing. This idea was reinforced when the following year with a different teacher his academic performance dramatically increased with no intervention.

I worked with a delightful 5 year old child. Prior to him being referred to me, he had been on Risperdal. He had convulsions in the classroom and was taken to the emergency room. I happened to read the hospital report and it was deemed that these convulsions were a direct effect of the Risperdal. The mother was unfortunately an unconcerned parent, and there were frequent calls made to Child protective Services regarding abuse by herself and her paramour. I found it immensely difficult to work in the home with this mother, and after seeing the child with brusing, I too called the Child Protective Services but each time they found the cases unfounded. I would take the child into the community for my sessions. The mother had described him as a 'little brat', a 'monster', and a kid 'who didnt deserve sh-t'. She described all these negative behaviors in the home and yet I never saw one of them in his time with me. Occassionally he would have some difficulty in the classroom, but with some guidance and redirection, problems were always averted. It broke my heart to see that within 5 minutes of me dropping him off at home he would be in tears. The mother requested me to leave this case, and I reluctantly agreed and transferred it to a colleague and friend. My colleague informed me that the paramour was caught sexually abusing the child, and the child was taken to foster care. I feel that foster care should certainly be a last option, but here it was a blessing. I recommended that at least one member of the therapeutic staff he was familiar with continue to work with him in the new setting and I offered to go and visit him to help with his adjustment. Though it will take some time for him to adjust, I think it will be a fresh new start, as he is in a place where maybe for once he will receive love and compassion.

TARDIVE DYSKINESIA

I was presented with a very difficult child who had received multiple psychiatric diagnoses and who had been in residential mental health treatment for the majority of his life. This child had been heavily medicated and was exhibiting slurred speech, poor motor coordination, inner feelings of agitation, and unusual jaw motions and tics. The family was told of the possibility of tardive dyskinesia. This also became a concern of a psychologist who observed him. Unfortunately, the parents stated they were never given informed consent about potential side effects and had never heard of the term 'tardive dyskinesia'. This neurological problem is a significant problem affecting individuals taking neuroleptic medications.

HOUNDED FOR MY VIEWS

I had contracted with a private agency as a therapist. The clients I worked with had developmental challenges. There was much progress made and one client's parents gave me very positive feedback. However, the agency supervisor upon learning that my approach was to promote psychosocial alternatives as well as to give parents informed consent, this became a point of contention. This resulted in their desire to try to terminate the contract, though nothing stipulated within the contract was ever violated. This shows intolerance for anything but the pro-drugging stance as well as unwillingness to be open-minded to the fact that workable alternatives do indeed exist. This shows the sad state of affairs of the current mental health system.

THE POSITIVE STORIES:

* A four year old presented with speech difficulties and the expression of explosive behavior where he would when frustrated hurl objects across room, have difficulties with aggression towards peers and siblings, and frequently need redirection to remain on task. Over a period of one year, this child has now been discharged. The child no longer has aggressive episodes, is being recommended for discharge from early intervention services, and is currently only requiring the aid of a speech therapist. The focus remained on providing this child and their family with opportunities for building relationship, developing adaptive responses to frustration, and improving communication skills. This child was never exposed to any psychotropic medication, but a responsible, compassionate, and dignified plan of psychosocial action was provided. The TSS involved with this child must be commended for her wonderful work!

*a 10 year old child presented with explosive episodes in school as well as making various threats to peers. The school and psychiatrist intially saw this as a hopeless case requiring him to be placed in partial hospitalization. Dan Edmunds advocated heavily for this child to remain in his present placement in school. He receives support of a TSS as well as occupational therapy and with some bumps in the road has responded well and has been able to be maintained within the school environment with a great deal of success.

* a 5 year old who presented with risky and destructive behaviors and sevee problems in social skills in now building friendships and is praised by his teacher with frequent awards for his conduct and academic performance. The family has gained a greater awareness of his difficulties and has been supportive. This child receives no psychotropic medications but has benefited from a treatment plan which entails the principles outlined in "Entering Their Imaginative World".

* a 13 year old boy whose mother was addicted to heroin and who lived in a chaotic environment experienced problems with truancy and aggression. For a period of 6 months, I developed a plan to work on his ability to express his frustration more effectively, helping him to realize his self worth and his ability to assess himself and make appropriate choices. I examined his strengths and tried to help him capitalize on them. He made a difficult transition to foster care, and I advocated he be placed in a home where he could attend a school he is familiar with. Since this, his grades have been above average, he has made friendships, and no longer has the problems with aggression. We had frequent, open, and honest conversations about his pain and the difficulties he has experienced. This 13 year old was discharged and continues to progress successfully.

Many children today who show any type of inappropriate behaviors are often immediately being labeled as ADHD and being prescribed stimulant medications such as Ritalin, Adderall, or Dexedrine among others. First, ADHD is a complete fraud. There is no test for ADHD and neurological testing shows these children to be perfectly normal. Dr. William Carey of Children's Hospital in Philadelpha states, "common assumptions about ADHD include that it is clearly distinguishable from normal behavior, constitutes a neurodevelopmental (brain) disability, is relatively uninfluenced by the environment (home, school)...all of these assumptions...must be challenged because of the lack of empirical support and the strength of contrary evidence...what is now described in the US as ADHD is a set of normal behavioral variations..This discrepancy leaves the validity (of ADHD) in doubt."The U.S. National Institutes of Health Consensus Development Conference on ADHD in 1998 reported, " we have do not have an independent, valid test for ADHD, and there are no data to indicate that ADHD is due to a brain malfunction...and finally, after years of clinical research and experience with ADHD, our knowledge about the cause or causes of ADHD remains speculative." Further, Dr. Edward C. Hamlyn, a founding member of the Royal College of General Practicioners in 1998 stated, "ADHD is fraud intended to justify starting children on a life of drug addiction." The U.S. Surgeon General Report declares, "the exact etiolgoy of ADHD is unknown." Lastly, Dr. Joe Kosterich, Federal Chair of the Australian Medical Association states, " "The diagnosis of ADD is entirely subjective.... There is no test. It is just down to interpretation. Maybe a child blurts out in class or doesn't sit still. The lines between an ADD sufferer and a healthy exuberant kid can be very blurred." What we are experiencing is children in conflict. We cannot blame and denigrate the child and not respect his dignity. We cannot label and suppress behaviors. If a child is conflict, we must take responsibility to see why this child is in conflict and to use responsible and carefully planned interventions to aid this child in being successful. Some believe that they see enormous benefits from children on medication. I will give them this benefit, only if we see suppression of behavior, basically chemical restraint, and the creation of zombies as our idea of 'progress' or 'success'. But once again, we are taking NORMAL children and drugging them to suppress their behaviors. In order to achieve such a 'result', just what is going on in this child's body? Let me go further in the issue of psychostimulants- Stanley I. Greenspan, a clinical professor of psychiatry at George Washington University states that, " The growing use of medication on their own is a worrisome trend while more and more people on Prozac or Ritalin are becoming bolder and less distractible, at the same time, more and more people are altering their moods without understanding what is happening to them or how it relates to their core personalities." He also states, "given appropriate nurturing, many affected children may not require medication." University of South Florida Professor of Psychology, Diane McGuinness comments, "The first factor of being put on drugs is to attribute your bad behavior to factors beyond your control. Drugs become a substitute for learning self-discipline. This problem is compounded when children are taken off medication and problem behavior initially rebounds to fantastic proportions. Second, longitudinal studies have confirmed that children on drugs actually deteriorate in academic performance over time. And we must consider the sense of worthlessness most of these young people experience.(McGuinness, 1985). Paul Wender, M.D. lists criteria when beginning medication, he states that a child must first understand why he is receiving medication, yet as Greenspan states above, this isnt always happening. Wender states, "Most acknowledge problems in his own behavior that he himself does not like, so that -he will not feel that medicine is being given to him simply so that other people can tolerate him more." Now, Wender is one who began the first tests on the use of methylphenidate and is in support of its use in treatment. I have had instances of being kicked, and even bitten by children going through behavioral difficulties, but at the same time, I found methods to help a child be able to deal with behaviors and to have progress while at the same time encouraging the child's own responsibility and sovereignty, and working on the creative strengths of the child. Greenspan comments, "working with the strengths of a child can create motivation." A child needs to be able to recognize and be motivated to change behaviors and work on strengths. Even Wender states that getting a child to 'label' behaviors is effective, that a child must recognize what is appropriate and what is not, and that parents should not encourage the idea that because the medication was wearing off or so forth that such excuses a level of knowledge and responsibility for certain behaviors. In my experiences, I would argue that a child often has complete knowledge of some of his or her behaviors and may develop a manipulative manner and 'test' the parent and find various triggers and weaknesses where he the parent will give in to his immediate desire. My concern lies too in that whereas some may feel medication to create some responsive in level of focus and so forth, it comes with a cost in side effects. Some may take the view that the potential for progress outweights the potential side effects. This is where I disagree, and feel it better to avoid that which would cause any side effects, that psychotherapy alone can manage the difficulties. These are some of the things that bring alarm to me. Wender states, "Most common side effects of the stimulant medications are appetite loss...difficulty in falling asleep." He suggests the use of a small dose of sedative 'major tranquilizer' an hour before bedtime to solve this in some cases. So, here a see a cycle of drugs needing to be used and thats worrisome. Wender states, "Research is being conducted to determine the -exact- effects of stimulant medication on growth." This tells me they are prescribing something which they really do not know yet what the effects are on growth. He states as well that stimulant medication IS addictive in adults, but says, "The results suggest that there is no increased risk for drug abuse associated with treatment, although -more research is needed to rule this out conclusively.-" Here again, if it is addictive to adults, I ask, why not children too, and he says that research is yet conclusive. With effects on the cardiovascular system, Barkley states, "studies have -not- specifically addressed this important issue." So, they are prescribing something for which they are unsure of the effects on growth as well as the cardiovascular system. Barkley states as well, "The side effect that shouls receive serious attention from clinicians is the possible increase in motor or vocal tics produced by stimulant medication." He continues- "It still seems prudent to screen children with ADHD adequately for a personal or family history of tics or Tourette's Syndrome." I recall having a session with a child with the mother first and being informed that he was being treated with Ritalin, I later had subsequent time with the father, and he had visible tics, this really alarmed me in reading about the issue of tics and Tourette's and I had to question not to the family but within myself if this was really the best option for the child faced with this risk. Barkley also states, "Isolated cases may arise in which parents note that a child is no longer 'spontaneous' or childlike in his or her behavior and appears -controlled- or -socially aloof-. This is concerning, and it appears that stimulants do have an affect in gaining control and conformity. Many of the stated results of the stimulant medication are too subjective., and Barkley states clearly that, "an improved ability to master increasingly difficult or higher-level academic material, such as that assessed in achievement tests, has -not- been demonstrated. here we have an example that it would not have been as a result of stimulant medication if we see academic progress. Barkley also says that 'low and moderate doses of methlyphenidate do reduce the frequency of aggression and noncompliance in groups of children but have no appreciate effect on either direction on prosocial or nonsocial behaviors." So, I will acknowledge that stimulants can help with short term behavioral inhibition, but what about long term? This is my main concern, with the side effects and without evidence of a long term result and without knowledge of long term results on growth and cardiovascular development, is this really the best option? Barkley states, " Few studies employing rigorous methodology have evaluated the long term efficacy of stimulant medication. Thise that have examined the issue have generally found little advantage of medication over no medication when evaluated over extended periods (Pelham, 1985, Weiss &Hechtman, 1993) Children who had been on drugs but were off at the time of follow-up were not found to differ in any important respect from those who had never received pharmacotherapy." Another concern is the effects in mood, I worked with one child who was already experiencing social withdrawal and was going through the trauma of losing a loved one. After receiving stimulant medication, this intensified. Wender states, "Instead of becoming high or excited, these drugs in general calm down ADHD children and sometimes they may even become somewhat sad." Barkley states, "some children may evidence various mild negative moods or emotions in reaction to stimulants...Some children descrive feeling 'funny', 'different' or dizzy as a function of medication." What about self-esteem and confidence, Greenspan acknowledges that creativity can be affected, and Barkley states, " some concern has been raised that diminished self-esteem could be a emanative effect of methylphenidate as children may attribute the source of their success while on medication to external rather than internal factors." Here, I become concerned about self-fulfilling prophecy as a result of stigmatization, and that a child can very well by develop a defeatist idea if he develops the perception as outlined above. ADHD: LIES AND DAMNED LIES F. Xavier Castellanos presented a study to the National Institutes of Health suggesting that therapy combined with stimulants was the best 'treatment' for children labeled as ADHD. This was something being preached by psychologist Russell Barkley for some time prior to this study. Castellanos concluded in tbis study that ADHD labeled children had smaller brains. The problem is that in this study they failed to mention that 93% of the ADHD group of children had received psychostimulants for an extended period. Thus, the brain atrophy had nothing to do with the childen having ADHD, and all to do with the use of stimulants. The stimulant medications caused the brain atrophy. They turned the study around to perpetuate a lie. In 1994, Paul Leber of the Food and Drug Administration said, "As yet no distinctive pathophysiology for the disorder has been delineated." In 1995, Gene R. Haislip of the Drug Enforcement Administration said, "We are also unaware that ADHD has been validated as a biologic/organic syndrome or disease." In 1998, James M. Swanson of the University of California, and leading ADD advocate, said in conference, "I would like to have an objective diagnosis for the disorder (ADHD). Right now psychiatric diagnosis is completely subjective." And even Dr. Castellanos, in spite of his extensive research, said in 1998, "I agree that we have not yet met the burden of demonstrating the specific pathophysiology that we believe underlies this condition." A child I worked with had been originally labeled ADHD and the psychologist as well as school guidance counselor made strong recommendations for the use of Ritalin. I began therapy with this child and I saw that the only problem present was some emotional immatuity and that this was a bright, creative child who with a boost could accomplish much and certainly did not need to be drugged. In expressing this view, I was told thhat I was 'crazy' "misinformed' and would do the family a 'great disservice' by not being on board with their coercing the family to use Ritalin. In my appearance on "Positive Press" Radio with Connie Giblin, I discussed this issue, and she asked me what payout this psychologist received. I do not know exactly what incentives this psychologist received, but the fact remains that many psychologists and psychiatrists have received financial gifts from the pharmaceutical companies. A PBS program reported a psychologist who offered trainings on ADHD with direct funding from the pharmaceutical company. He was asked if this funding influenced him in any way to which eh said no. Of course he would say no as he does not want to end the stuffing of his pockets at the expense of our children's well being. These folks are perpetuating a damned lie so that they can make profit child's play. People of compassion who know the truth must speak out!

AUTISTIC SPECTRUM DISORDERS AND PSYCHIATRY'S SOLUTION

There is no medication that will cure autism and Asperger's syndrome. Some individuals have used various medications in an attempt to control behaviors, however it must be realized that this is all that the medications are capable of doing is controlling a certain aspect of behavior by blunting certain brain functions. These medications all have serious risks. "Neuroleptics (such as Risperdal and Seroquel) have their main impact by blunting the highest functions of the brain in the frontal lobes and the closely connected basal ganglia. They can also impair the reticular activating or energizing system of the brain. These impairments result in relative degrees of apathy, indifference, emotional blandness, conformity, and submissiveness, as well as a reduction in all verbalizations, including complaints or protests. It is no exaggeration to call this effect a chemical lobotomy?Eontrary to claims, neuroleptics have no specific effects on irrational ideas (delusions) or perceptions (hallucinations). (Breggin, 1999) These medications also carry the risk of causing tardive dyskinesia or neuroleptic malignant syndrome. Tardive dyskinesia is permanent abnormal movements of the voluntary muscles. "NMS is characterized by severe abnormal movements, fever, sweating, unstable blood pressure and pulse, and impaired mental functioning. Delirium and coma can develop. NMS can be fatal?EBreggin, 1999) Common side effects of Risperdal as reported by the Physicians Desk Reference are abdominal pain, abnormal walk, agitation, aggression, anxiety, chest pain, constipation, coughing, decreased activity, diarrhea, dizziness, fever, headache, inability to sleep, increased dreaming, indigestion, involuntary movements, joint pain, lack of coordination, nasal inflammation, nausea, overactivity, rapid heartbeat, rash, reduced salivation, respiratory infection, sore throat, tremor, vomiting. The SSRI antidepressants?Eare also a common prescribed medication. These drugs can produce akathisia, mania, worsening of depression, obsessive compulsive like behaviors, and severe anxiety and agitation (International Center for the Study of Psychiatry and Psychology Newsletter, Summer 2002, pg. 15) The use of responsible psychosocial approaches is far better than any short term benefit these toxic medications may provide.

A PLAN FOR TREATING THE INSANITY IN THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM- WHAT WE MUST DO

First, we must stop looking through the eyes of a medical model, where we see children as broken and disordered and attempts are made to attributing their behaviors and emotions solely to a malfunctioning brain. There is no evidence supporting the psychopathology of a number of disorders. The linkage between the pharmaceutical companies and psychiatry needs to be evaluated as well as the information that is disseminated via the research and materials provided by pharmaceutical company money. One such example is CHADD, the 'support' group for parents of children diagnosed with ADHD that has received a great deal of his funding from the pharmceutical companies. The goal should be to examine the underlying factors of a child's behavior, looking at the child with dignity and respect, and seeing the child as one in conflict rather than a person who is disordered. Such stigmatization remains indefinitely, and labels can often become a self fulfilling prophecy and will follow our children for years to come and shape the way that they view themselves and also the way others view them, particularly the educational system. We cannot look to solely the most cost effective solution when our children's lives are at stake. Indeed, providing a prescription may control aspects of behavior and be though to have a 'therapeutic effect' but never gets to the root cause, and whereas it is far less expensive to medicate than to provide ongoing psychotherapy, it is appropriate and compassionate counsel that will make the difference. Second, the realm of psychotherapy must return to its orginal roots. The word psychotherapy literally means the healing of the soul. We must return the soul to therapy, encouraging therapists to instill within themselves the principles of compassion and empathy that are crucial for any therapeutic relationship to blossom forth. Therapists need to be compassionate and creative, and willing to give additional time and effort to see that a child's needs are met and to also provide community linkages and ongoing support within their environment and to encourage the least restrictive setting for our children. The coercion of parents and families into forced 'treatments' needs to be eliminated. Third, the educational system must be willing to accomodate to meet the various learning styles of children and not seek to place them in a box of rote learning or limit them to one particulat style. Some children may falter in a visual setting and need a hands on approach, whereas others may need other methods of encouraging their effective learning. We must return time, attention, and individuality to the classroom. Fourth, parents need to continue to take an active role in the lives of their children, providing ongoing guidance, validating emotions and not taking a dismissive, disapproving, or hands off approach. Rather, parents must be involved in helping the children develop their own sense of being, and being able to assess themselves. Parents need to avoid nagging their children and becoming entrapped in the propaganda that their children are disordered and need drugs to function. Fifth, our society must change in it attitudes. We are a society where we try to find our answers to ailments within a simple pill. We are a society that has unfortunately lost sight for the welfare of our children. We are a societry where we are prosperous, yet greed often blinds us. Such disorders such as ADHD can be looked upon as a social construct. 90% of Ritalin sales are in the US. This tells us that there is something to be examined within our society that needs correction. Somewhere along the line we have failed our children. This is not to lay blame on any particular individual but to understand that our children are in crisis, and it is up to all of us to take the steps for change. We need to rely less on psychiatry and its devices to solve our problems and more on what we can do within ourselves- to take a holistic approach, to understand the child as a whole person- physical, emotional, and spiritual, and to examine in each of these areas where there may be difficulties that can be alleviated. We need to rely less on others dictating the course of our own and our children's lives and develop workable plan within our own family structure. Nothing will ever be perfect, but even in the most serious disturbances, love and compassion can heal much. We must realize that in some situations within society and within our own lives, we may never be able to evoke complete change. This is the cause of much distress, not problems themselves but how we respond to them. To battle those things beyond our control can lead us to emotional distress, but if we seek live as principled individuals, we can make a difference. What we model to our children and to others has a lasting impact.

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You can find more in the meantime on my blog, newsletter, and online courses.

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12/30/2023
Heartfelt Adoption: From Viral Moments to Real Parenting with Kaitlyn Moreau Thibodeaux

Tune in for a heartfelt account of navigating the complex emotions of sadness, joy, and overwhelming feelings that come with adoption. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Kaitlyn Moreau Thibodeaux on to share her experience in adopting a child and what she has learned along the way. Learn about the importance of making space for both the challenges and joys, and why embracing the full spectrum of emotions is crucial in serving your child in the best way possible.

What You Will Learn:

  • The effects of going viral
  • Sitting with the scope of real experiences people share in the comments
  • Do not avoid the hard parts, so there is room for the good parts
  • Adoption is both painful and beautiful

https://www.tiktok.com/@kaitlynmoreau2



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12/08/2023
Natural Hair Care with Shalita Grant

Join us in this candid and empowering episode as we sit down with Shalita Grant for a conversation about natural hair care. Best known for her role in NCIS: New Orleans, Shalita opens up about the realization that her hair was becoming an obstacle in her acting career.

As an actress with Type 4 hair, the tightest texture on the hair chart, she faced unique challenges while on NCIS New Orleans. Shalita experienced traction alopecia in her second season and significant hair loss along her hairline in the third season, ultimately leading to her decision to break contract and leave her job by the fourth season. These experiences led to Shalita creating the Four Naturals solution.

Delve into the emotional aspects of her experience and gain insights on fostering a healthy relationship with hair, especially for kids.

What You Will Learn:

  • Why Shalita quit NCIS
  • Shalita's journey with hair loss and hair care
  • About Shalita's 4 Naturals hair treatment solutions
  • The emotional trauma from poor hair care
  • Helping kid's foster healthy hair and a healthy relationship to their hair


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11/27/2023
Medical Self Care with Suzanne Rabi Soliman, PharmD, BCMAS

Self care is more than just a massage. Many overlook the full spectrum of prioritizing and taking care of yourself. It's time to debunk the myth that true self-care is selfish – in reality, prioritizing ourselves is essential for survival, and benefits everyone around us. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Suzanne Soliman to Real World Parenting to explore practical, tangible steps for achieving balance, the normalcy of feeling guilty, and how you can practice setting healthy boundaries.

Suzanne Soliman is a Board Certified Pharmacist, Professor / Author, andMedia Host and Contributor. Suzy founded the Pharmacist Moms Group which is the largest organization of pharmacists in the United States. Suzy has over 100 publications and presents nationally on pharmacy, parenting and women issues.

What You Will Learn:

  • Practicing preventative care
  • Creating schedules are important
  • Self care is survivalist
  • Learning to say no and feeling guilty is normal
  • The importance of setting boundaries
  • It is healthy for our children to see us more balanced

https://www.drsuzannesoliman.com

https://www.instagram.com/drsuzannesoliman/



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11/10/2023
Dyslexia Demystified: Parenting from a Strengths Perspective with Russel Van Brocklin

Join Dr. Laura Anderson in this episode as she and her guest, Russel Van Brocklin, dispel common misconceptions about dyslexia and offer a fresh perspective that emphasizes strengths. Discover effective methods for skill-building and concrete resources. Plus, Russel shares his personal journey, revealing the unique advantages of being dyslexic.

Russel Van Brocklin's wish is to communicate with parents, tutors and teachers to help their struggling dyslexic students significantly improve their comprehension, writing and organizational skills. As a dyslexic himself, Russel knows the pain and shame that often accompanies dyslexia and understands the financial and emotional strain this condition can place on families as they search for answers and support. He has developed a unique system for teaching writing skills to highly motivated students with dyslexia.

What You Will Learn:

  • What is Dyslexia and how do we define it?
  • What helps and why do these methods work?
  • How ai can support people with dyslexia

Resources:

https://dyslexiaclasses.com



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10/27/2023
Financial Planning For College with Ann Garcia

Ann Garcia, aka The College Financial Lady, has helped thousands of families save millions of dollars on college. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Ann on to share valuable strategies and pertinent information to set you and your child up for success in saving for their future. Great college options are available at every price point and there are various steps you can take to feel more prepared in this process.Ann Garcia is a fee-only Certified Financial Planner and managing partner of Independent Progressive Advisors, Ann specializes in helping families balance the desire to support their children’s dreams with the reality of funding their own lives. What You Will Learn:

  • What gets in the way of parents having a clear cut plan for paying for college
  • 529 plans - what they are and how to use them
  • How to talk to your child about finances
  • Financial aid, and eligibility
  • Different types of scholarships
  • What to look for when looking for colleges
  • Don't count yourself out
  • FAFSA and how it works
  • How to balance your savings between college and retirement

www.howtopayforcollege.com



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10/13/2023
Nurturing Healthy Self-Image and Body Positivity with Jessica Secrest

This week Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Secrest back to Real World Parenting to discuss a topic close to their hearts: nurturing body positivity in children. Together they explore ways to encourage empathy and be mindful of language and non-verbal cues that shape your children's self-image. Explore how to initiate these important conversations with your kids, emphasizing respect and kindness for the bodies they have. Tune in for an insightful discussion on promoting a positive body image. What You Will Learn:

  • Don't comment on your body in front of your children
  • Be mindful about the words you use, your facial expressions, heavy sighs, etc
  • Set a good example by complimenting yourself
  • you don't get to chose the body you have - you get one, treat it well
  • How to be kind to our bodies
  • Encourage empathy because you can't know everyone's situation
  • Find a different way to reward children that isn't food
  • This is a conversation relevant for both boys and girls


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09/29/2023
Navigating Life While One Parent Is Frequently Out Of The Home with Rhoda Bangerter

In this episode, Dr. Laura Anderson and Rhoda Bangerter tackle how to thrive as a family when one partner is away a lot. They explore how to maintain strong parent-child relationships, teaching children to manage big emotions, and ways to reduce overwhelm.Rhoda Bangerter is a certified coach, a Speaker and the Author of “Holding the Fort Abroad”. Her husband has travelled for work their whole marriage and along the way, she realised the huge number of moms and dads around the world who experience the same challenges but with no resources to guide them through this journey. This led her to run extensive research, share her learnings through the book, Holding The Ford Abroad, and develop her services to support solo parents in long distance relationships or with travelling partners.What You Will Learn:

  • What could chip away at a parent child relationship

  • Having a support system because your children are not your emotional support

  • Strengths that can emerge from this experience

  • The Dr. Ken Canfield model - I can, intentional and consistent involvement



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09/15/2023
Navigating a Vulnerable Nervous System and Big, Baffling Behaviors with Robyn Gobbel
 Ill behaviors make sense, even the ones that don't. In this episode, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Robyn Gobbel to explore vulnerable nervous systems and tools for regulating your child's big stress behaviors. They explore the neurobiology of lying, changing our expectations around trust, and setting psychological boundaries. Robbyn Gobel has been described by a student as "neuroscience with heart, wrapped in glitter and fun." Before the COVID-19 pandemic, Robyn was a therapist for almost 20 years, specializing in complex trauma, attachment, and adoption. Now she creates communities and educational experiences grounded in regulation, connection, and felt safety for parents and professionals all over the world. What You Will Learn:
  • What goes on in your child's nervous system when they are lying
  • Block out feedback from others
  • Increase stress resilience
  • What to do in the moment to tolerate and regulate big stress behaviors
Resources: https://robyngobbel.com

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08/25/2023
Recognizing Autism in Teen Girls with Dr. Holley Kaskel
 Girls with autism present differently. A diagnosis can impact everything about the way you interact with your child and can validate the way your child views themselves. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Dr. Holley Kaskel on to discuss all things autism from masking to emotional intensity and understanding sensory overload.Dr. Holley Kaskel is a clinical psychologist and founder of LightHeart Associates, a collection of comprehensive outpatient mental health clinics in the Seattle area. She is also the mom of 3, including two neurodivergent daughters. Dr. Holley herself also identifies as a queer, neurodivergent adult and learns something new every day! What You Will Learn:
  • Girls and masking
  • Strengths of those on spectrum, so we are not just deficit focused
  • Understanding the overwhelm and emotional intensity
  • Understanding the diagnosis makes all the difference
  • A diagnosis allows children the ability to advocate for themselves
  • Keeping an open mind
  • How understanding allows you to navigate and soothe better


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08/11/2023
Embracing Your Child's Inner Yeti with Meredith Rusu
 Big feelings are normal and GOOD, but how you channel them is important. Your behaviors do not define who you are, but children can have an egocentric view that these big emotions mean they are inherently not good. Everything in parenting is trial and error, but this week's guest Meredith Rusu provides tools to help your child communicate big feelings and to help you share the joy in it.Meredith Rusu is the author of more than one hundred children’s books, notably There’s a Yeti in my Tummy (the first picture book in the Mighty Moods series), Anna, Elsa, and the Enchanting Holiday, Silenzio, Bruno!, and The DATA Set series under the name Ada Hopper. She has also written for many popular licenses including LEGO, Disney/Pixar, Peppa Pig, and Star Wars.What You Will Learn:
  • Finding a shared kid language to better communicate
  • Navigating public tantrums
  • Sometimes nothing is wrong, sometimes kids are just weird
  • The more we can connect with kids the better
  • The yeti series
  • Have grace with yourself
  • Look at things with a joyful perspective
Resources:meredithrusu.com@meredithrusuwrites on IG

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07/28/2023
Loving an Amazing Child Whose Behaviors Can Be Hard to Like with Jessica Secrest

It can feel lonely when your child is struggling. At the end of the day you don't get a prize for being the most tired parent - ask for help, find community. The burden of motherhood is eased a lot when you're not alone. This week Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Secrest to share her experience and tools for loving an amazing child whose behaviors can be hard to like.

Jessica Secrest is a mom of 2, ages 4.5 and 3. Her eldest child was diagnosed with ADHD in 2023 and she shares tips, strategies, and struggles that come with caring for a neurodivergent child. She is an advocate for Body Positivity and works to show her kids that you can be happy no matter your size. Jessica is a big believer in finding your village in motherhood and shares her motherhood journey with her best friend Emily. She is known for sharing their childcare swap arrangements, expressing the importance of leaning on your village and taking time to spend with your spouse when you can.

What You Will Learn:

  • It takes a village

  • Reinforcement to counteract the negative

  • Don't give up - there will be trial and error, but you will find something that works for you

  • Tips for getting your child to listen and hear what you say

Resources:@ApplesauceandADHD



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07/14/2023
Building Resilience and The Art of Setting Boundaries with Kristin and Mike Berry
 Parenting is difficult and you are going to be tired, but you need rest and you CAN rest. Join us as we explore the essential elements of maintaining personal health and longevity while navigating the challenges of parenting. Learn strategies to establish boundaries, fine-tune the art of setting limits, and cultivate a support system. Gain valuable tricks and tips for bouncing back when you feel depleted, and remember: you're doing great.Kristin and Mike Berry have been married for more than 15 years and are the parents of 8 adopted children. They co-founded The Honestly Adoption Company, a team of fellow foster and adoptive parents who provide top notch support, mentoring, coaching, and training to help parents thrive and, in turn, transform their families.What You Will Learn:
  • Longevity and personal health is possible
  • Buffering yourself against feedback from observers
  • Boundaries in resiliency, find the line between you and other people on your team
  • Reframe your self talk, this is a critical piece of whether you feel energized or defeated
Resources: https://honestlyadoption.com

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07/03/2023
Empowering the Next Generation: Teaching Self-Advocacy in Neurodivergent Youth with Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC

Neurodiversity refers to the idea that there are all kinds of brains and celebrating neurodiversity encourages us to move away from pathologizing the way that different people learn and think. I urge you to challenge the beliefs we have about the status quo. Emily Kircher-Morris, LPC joins Dr. Laura today for a conversation on the many sides to neurodivergence and how supporting children in this may require a change in perspective. They cover the importance of the affirmation of neurodiversity, teaching your child to advocate for themselves, and staying curious.

Emily Kircher-Morris, M.A., M.Ed., LPC, inspired by her own experiences as a neurodivergent person, is dedicated to destigmatizing neurodiversity and supporting neurodivergent people of all ages. She started her career in education and is now in private practice near St. Louis, Missouri as a licensed professional counselor, where she specializes in supporting neurodivergent kids and adults (and their families).

What You Will Learn:

  • How to affirm and support neurodivergent teens

  • How neurodivergence can result in anxiety

  • How accommodations can impact a neurodivergent person

  • There are ways to connect around this that help everyone feel successful

  • Supporting teens in reclaiming and embracing those identities

Resources: https://neurodiversitypodcast.com/Neurodiversity Universitywww.neurodiversity.universityTeaching Twice-Exceptional Learners in Today’s Classroomhttps://www.freespirit.com/teaching-strategies-and-professional-development/teaching-twice-exceptional-learners-in-todays-classroom-emily-kircher-morris-2e-learnersRaising Twice-Exceptional Children: A Handbook for Parents of Neurodivergent Gifted Kidshttps://www.routledge.com/Raising-Twice-Exceptional-Children-A-Handbook-for-Parents-of-Neurodivergent/Kircher-Morris/p/book/9781646322145



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06/16/2023
The Power of Neurofeedback: Meeting Your Children's Need with Dianne Kosto

The power struggle that occurs when your child doesn't get the help they need leaves all parties feel like they're failing. If your child is struggling and you feel like you've exhausted your resources or haven't yet found the right support that works and are looking to expand to new modalities, Neurofeedback training may be the support you and your child need. Mom on a mission Dianne Kosto joins Dr. Laura Anderson for a conversation on what Neurofeedback training looks like and how it can help regulate your child's brain and make life easier. Dianne Kosto, is the CEO and Founder of SYMMETRY Neuro-Pathway Training, which provides Neurofeedback services and systems to individuals, families, therapeutic programs and professionals across the USA, Canada, and Mexico. With the knowledge that Neurofeedback saved her son's life and restored hope for her family, Dianne is a Mom on a Mission to make Neurofeedback technology available to individuals and families so they can avoid the trauma her family experienced as a result of her son's brain dysregulation.

What You Will Learn

  • What is a brain map report?

  • Does insurance cover Neurofeedback training?

  • What type of misinformation is out there?

Resources:https://symmetryneuropt.comhttps://isnr.org



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06/02/2023
Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate with Jeannie Gainsburg
 This is the episode for you if you have wondered how to show up for a child who has come out as LGBTQ+, or if you'd like to parent kids who are allies to the LGBTQ+ community. Social justice starts on a small scale. Language is important, and Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jeannie Gainsburg on for conversation and laughs that also provide tips and strategies for how to navigate allyship and advocacy. The most protective thing we can do is practice careful curiosity. Jeannie Gainsburg is an educational trainer and consultant in the field of LGBTQ+ inclusion and effective allyship. Formerly the Education Director at the Out Alliance of Rochester, N.Y., she is the founder of Savvy Ally Action and author of the book, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate. In 2019, Jeannie received a citation from the New York State Assembly for Distinguished Educational & Human Rights Services for her work in promoting LGBTQ+ rights and inclusion.What You Will Learn:
  • You can redo, rebuild and repair any 'mistakes'
  • How to celebrate the invitation to expand limited boxes in our minds
  • How to use the "switch it" technique to help you frame whether or not your language or question is respectful
  • Using they as a singular pronoun
  • How to practice pronouns


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05/19/2023
Brain Systems and Interventions for Growth with Patrick Martin
 Often a fear of labels will hold people back from a diagnosis that will ultimately help them function better long term. Behavior is behavior, not good or bad. Discover the impact of labels, the importance of peer interactions, and the role of behavior without judgment as Dr. Laura Anderson and her guest, Patrick Martin, explore these ideas and more in this week's conversation of The Real World Parenting Podcast.Patrick C. Martin, PsyD, MA, MACP, LMHC is a clinician in Seattle, Washington whose training includes a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, a two-year post-doctoral fellowship in Clinical Psychology and Forensic Psychology, a year-long Certificate in Advanced Training in Affirmative Therapy for Transgender Communities through Widener University. He is currently completing a two-year Neuropsychology Specialization program. He is licensed in Washington state under his Master’s License and enjoys working with children and adolescents who are gender expansive Once he is licensed as a Psychologist he looks forward to providing Neuropsychological and Forensic evaluations and continuing to provide care for children, adolescents, and the LGBTQIA community. He lives in Seattle Washington with his dog and enjoys spending time with his friends and colleagues. What You Will Learn:
  • Labels can provide relief
  • Labels don't define you, it is just one component of many
  • If we don't learn these skills when we're kids then it is incumbent upon us to learn and unlearn as adults
  • How this may affect cortisol levels
  • Understanding that minority stress and being picked on for being different impacts children in many ways
  • Peer interactions are critical to functioning both short and long term
  • Maintaining connection with your kiddo


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05/05/2023
Is There Ever An Okay Time to Celebrate Adoption? When Do Adoptive Parents Get To Say Yay?
 This week's episode explores the complexity of celebration and adoption. Are there things to celebrate in adoption? Absolutely, but in order to celebrate, adoptive parents must also hold a space for the loss their child feels. Adoption is a shaping event in people's lives that plays a role in the attachment, self esteem, and elements woven throughout a lifetime. Join Dr. Laura Anderson as she shares the patterns that come up in adoptive families and how to celebrate intentionally.What You Will Learn:
  • Do not wait for your child to start the conversation, find age appropriate ways to talk to your child about adoption - truthfully and sensitively
  • How public are you making this information about adoption?
  • How to celebrate anniversaries
  • Find adoptee voices
Resources:https://pactadopt.orghttps://www.angelatucker.com

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04/21/2023
Exploring Whiteness, Anti-Racism, and Parenting Interracially Adopted Teens with Beth Wheeler

Back by popular demand, Beth Wheeler: psychotherapist, educator, networker, and advocate who works to promote equity and inclusion with diverse populations in all areas of her work. Beth's first time on the Real World Parenting podcast is the most listened to episode of the show, so we wanted to further these vital conversations about whiteness, anti-racism, and parenting interracially adopted teensIf you haven't listened to our first conversation, you can listen hereSo much of adoption is about a confusing identity of frequently asking “where is home?” amidst unknowns of who you are. At a time where everybody is searching and trying to understand who they are, identity questions become more profound especially in children with intersecting identities. This week, Dr. Laura and Beth discuss how having adolescent children changes or highlights the way your whiteness shows up in your parenting and navigating children growing into teens and being perceived differently.What You Will Learn:

  • Stay curious and find community

  • Listen to & believe your children

  • How conversations change from when they were younger

  • How ingroup & outgroup communication differs

  • Our kids can teach us too

Resources:https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-wheeler-aa0b5ba/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/beth-wheeler-silver-spring-md/445743



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04/07/2023
The Brain Behavior Connection
 All behavior comes from the brain. I used to think that was reductionist. But in this episode we talk about trauma, attachment loss, the brain and the connection between these things and behavior. If we don't understand trauma and brain science, many children and parents experience blame, shame and failure. In reality, many trauma responses and challenging behaviors are a sign of growth.Superheroes are born from adversity. Villain stories are often similar, but with no safety provided along the way. The more we understand our brains and our children's brains, the more we can help them to grow into the super humans they are capable of becoming.This week, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH to share tips for parents to use to help both themselves and their children work through the hard stuff. You have to believe there is hope in this approach to try it, and you have to try this approach to believe it.Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. She is living this out as a licensed mental health counselor & supervisor, bilingual author, and dynamic presenter. Since she loathes the dry, adult language found in many “therapy books,” she crafted the RILEY THE BRAVE series to be books that children and parents can’t wait to read and re-read.What You Will Learn:
  • Why it is important to BOTH Celebrate the courage of survival AND celebrate learning to trust
  • Why it is important to understand the upstairs downstairs brain, and tips for staying regulated so you can build a staircase between the two sections
  • How we can help parents wrap their minds around why brain science matters, and how to our kids about it.
  • Key concepts for parents to help their children stay regulated
Resources:www.RileyTheBrave.orghttps://bravebrains.com

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03/24/2023
Autism In Girls with Marcia Eckerd

Recognizing autism in girls can be tricky. Experience in offices and schools tells us that young girls with an autism diagnosis may present with a different profile than boys with an autism diagnosis. This week Dr. Laura invites Marcia Eckerd for a conversation on what confuses parents & clinicians about what autism may look like in girls, and how related behaviors are often misunderstood. This episode highlights the harm that can be done when girls do not get the support and understanding that they need.

Marcia diagnoses and helps autistic individuals with self acceptance as neurodivergent, as well as help them navigate achieving their goals. She has worked with autistic individuals as a licensed psychologist for 30 years. In Marcia's therapy, evaluations, writing, speaking and advocacy I seek to improve the understanding, inclusion and respect for those who are autistic. She was appointed to the CT ASD Advisory Council and serves on the Clinical Advisory Group of the Asperger’s Autism Network (AANE.org), a nationally recognized resource for autism services and education. She is also on the Board of Directors of NeuroClastic.org, an autistic nonprofit that provides education, opportunities, and resources for autistic individuals.

What You Will Learn:

  • Autism in girls and boys looks different

  • 1 in 44 kids are autistic, according to the CDC

  • What is helpful and not helpful about having a label of autism

  • Why the idea of ableism can be harmful

  • What to look for if you think your daughter may have an autism diagnosis

Resources:https://www.marciaeckerd.comPsychology Today: Are we giving autistic children PTSD in school

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/everyday-neurodiversity/202108/are-we-giving-autistic-children-ptsd-school?amp

Journal of National Register of Psychology: Identifying Autism Spectrum Disorder (Level 1) In Adults Detection and Diagnosis Of Autism In Females



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03/10/2023
Cyber Safety Tools and the Epidemic of Child Exploitation Online with Jen Hoey

Conversations like these save lives. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jen Hoey to talk about internet safety and to share the experience that launched her into this line of work. This can happen to anyone -- Jen was vigilant in her internet monitoring, and yet her child still found herself in the process of being groomed online. Dr. Laura and Jen dive into the conversations you need to be having, spotting warning signs, and beginning the process of healing.

Jen is a Parent Cyber Safety Consultant and Founder of ‘Not My Kid’. Her mission is to preserve childhood and keep all children safe from online child exploitation by empowering their parents through education. She is a mum of three children and has navigated some negative experiences with her older kids online — the most challenging being her daughter’s exposure to a predator via an online game when she was 9 years old. This provided her with personal insight into some of the challenges both children and parents face today. Jen's passion and primary focus is fighting the epidemic of child exploitation online.

What You Will Learn:

  • Something so simple can really destroy a child

  • How to talk to your child to foster open communication about online safety

  • How to unpack the idea of safe and unsafe secrets

  • Preparing children to understand warning signs of danger

  • Remind them that you will help them, so they don't stay silent out of fear

  • The benefit of having a code word

  • Setting up a safety team of trusted adults your child can speak to

Resources:

Website: https://www.notmykid.com.au/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/notmykidever

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notmykid_ever/



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02/24/2023
Grief Series Part 2: Supporting Bereaved Children with Michele Benyo

In part 2 of Dr. Laura Anderson's grief series, she invites Michele Benyo to discuss how to support kids who have had a sibling die during childhood.

Little ones grieve differently and that grief moves with them through life. It is important to recognize that the way we explain grief to kids and the messages we give them can result in an unhealthy grieving process. Parents can benefit from understanding that grief isn't this thing to avoid. Dr. Laura and Michele share ways to approach these difficult subjects and big feelings with children.

Michele Benyo helps families heal and live forward with grief after the death of their child. With the Good Grief Parenting Approach parents get in touch with their parenting wisdom so they can be confident that they are helping their bereaved young child grieve well and can be hopeful about a future for their family bright with possibilities and even joy.

What You Will Learn:

  • Recognizing how little ones grieve and how a sibling loss affects them

  • Grief is good

  • Tell your child when you're missing this person, open that conversation

  • What children need is information, true and child appropriate - honest information

  • Kids have big feelings that need to be acknowledged

  • Sometimes you can't make them feel better - they need to understand that you can go through the emotion together even if there is no way to make the big feelings go away

  • Modeling how to take care our ourselves - empowering agency

  • Notice the way we talk about death

  • Making sure they understand this isn't the their fault

  • Specific tips for how to support kids and talk them through grief of any kind

Resources:

www.goodgriefparenting.com



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02/10/2023
Grief Series 1: Supporting Bereaved Parents with Heidi Low

Grief is a topic people don't want to talk about or think about because the death of a child is unthinkable. Parents who are grieving often struggle connecting with others in their time of need as people are afraid to have these conversations. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Heidi Low onto the podcast today to create a space for aunts, friends, clinicians, and those surrounding people who have experienced unthinkable loss and how they can support parents.

Heidi Low is the founder of ‘Ohana Oasis, a nonprofit organization whose mission is to empower bereaved parents to live a life of joy and purpose. She began the organization in 2013, nine years after the death of her daughter, Alison Belle, to a brain tumor at the age of five.

What You Will Learn:

  • Operating from a place of fear is not helpful

  • It is better to say the wrong thing than to say nothing at all

  • Stop and think about what you're saying and how it would land if you were in this position

  • Don't make the parent do the work

  • Scripts for what to say when



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01/27/2023
Growing up Through The Lens of Intersecting Identities

On this journey, when children open up it is important to remember that this is also hard for them. It is so important to be with your child and support them in an empathetic way versus heading straight to problem solving. Just saying 'we're in this together' can make a huge impact. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Amir Yassai, who grew up as a child of many intersecting identities. He shares how his experiences shaped who he is as an adult and how people's perceptions can be harmful, even if they're not with ill intent.

Amir Yassai is a queer Muslim unicorn who won’t shy away from any conversation. Comedy is at the center of everything he does. He actively battles against racism, transphobia, and body shaming in the queer community. Amir is an internet personality under the name Amir Yass known for his humor, vulnerability, and sociopolitical takes.

What You Will Learn:

  • Emphasis on empathy versus problem solving

  • Instead of looking to make the process smoother, walk with and be present

  • Recognizing microaggressions and being mindful not to assume based on stereotypes -- even if it may seem like a positive assumption, it can be harmful

  • Alittle sensitivity goes a long way

  • How do we see someone's identity without centering it as entirely who they are

Resources:

http://amiryass.com/

https://instagram.com/amiryassofficial?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

https://www.tiktok.com/@amiryassofficial?_t=8ZMguhPETf8&_r=1



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01/14/2023
Comprehensive Support In A Child's Gender Journey

https://drlsanderson.thinkific.com

Starting January 24th, Dr. Laura's Gender Journey Courses will be available for purchase: 7 courses packaged in 3 different bundles to best fit your child and family's needs. These courses are designed for parents, but clinicians will find a lot of value in each module.

The information in this space can be overwhelming, confusing, and hard to navigate through the weeds. Dr. Laura has outlined a careful and expansive conversation in a caring, educational, and collaborative format. If you have any questions or concerns on whether this course is right for you, please reach out: contact@drlauraanderson.com

Parents and children need to be met where they are when any decision is being made. Dr. Laura aims to help parents feel equipped and empowered to show up for their kids who need support, advocacy, understanding, and love. Each bundle covers common myths and how to debunk them, definitions, information about child development, and a deeper dive into what to say when...

Ultimately these courses help folks know what to look for, what to expect, and practical takeaways with interactive downloads for further learning and support



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12/16/2022
Revolutionize Schools To Help Alternative Learners Thrive with Kristine Altwies, MA/LMFT

This episode offers tips for parents of kids who have big attachment loss and discusses the way that impacts their schooling.

Families often feel misunderstood and unsupported by their school even when administrators have the best intentions. The current one-size fits all curriculum ends up being counterproductive for most of these children who better learn through other methods. Many children leave schooling feeling low self-confidence from not being able to thrive in the systems at hand. It's not that they can't do school, but that standardized learning does not work for them. It is important to instill in children that they are not the problem. This week's guest, Kristine Altwies, MA/LMFT, aims to revolutionize schools and offer tools for parents to use in supporting their children in the places they need it most.

For many years Kristine Altwies worked in adoption as the Executive Director/CEO of Hawai’i International Child Placement and Family Services, Inc. (HIC) and coordinated adoptions around the globe. On that journey she has worked with children and families as a parent trainer, therapist and coach. She also has experiece working as a secondary education teacher (public and private schools). Kristine believes every person is born perfect, and the challenges we experience along the way come at the hands of others, managed with greater or lesser success in our own hearts, minds and bodies.

What You Will Learn:

  • What trauma does to the brain.

  • How do we work with the system that is and how we can revolutionize the system to better help children moving forward.

  • Know the laws.

  • Own being the difficult parent. You have to be willing to be pushy.

  • Language to stay away from.

Resources:

Waldorf Education

A Family Tree - http://www.afamilytree.org/

Pono Roots Counseling Center - www.ponoroots.org



more info


12/02/2022
What Gets In The Way of White People Doing Anti-Racism Work with Beth Wheeler

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Beth Wheeler for a long overdue conversation. The two join together in discussing whiteness and the anti-racist work that we, as White people, need to be doing. Dr. Laura and Beth identify the common roadblocks people face in their anti-racist work and what keeps White people from speaking up. This episode will give you the tools you need to move forward on your own so that the burden doesn't fall upon People of Color.

Dr. Laura and Beth offer specific strategies for staying in the work even when it is uncomfortable, and hope today will help you in your journey.

Beth Wheeler (she/her/hers) is a psychotherapist, educator, networker, and advocate who works to promote equity and inclusion with diverse populations in all areas of her work. A Clinical Social Worker trained also in bodywork, Beth’s understanding of trauma and resilience inform both her private practice with adults and her Diversity, Equity, Inclusion and Belonging work in organizations. Beth identifies as a white, cis-gender, queer/lesbian, middle-class, able-bodied woman. She is also co-raising her two black domestically adopted sons (15 and 12), with her ex-wife.

What You Will Learn:

  • What it means to be White and how that shapes the way we think about race and racism

  • Which feelings keep White people from working to be anti-racist and what we can do about them

  • How White people can support other White people in doing the work

  • How we define White supremacy, and why language matters

  • When to ask for help if you are a White person raising children of color

Resources:

Beth Wheeler

https://www.linkedin.com/in/beth-wheeler-aa0b5ba/

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/beth-wheeler-silver-spring-md/445743

Janet Helms

https://www.apa.org/members/content/race-mechanisms-inequality

SURJ Showing up to Racial Justice

https://surj.org



more info


11/18/2022
Navigating Holidays With Your Adoptive Family Featuring Mike Berry

With the holiday season in full gear, you may notice a spotlight on shifting expectations and dysregulated behaviors. This time can be a reminder of loss, grief and the complex mixed feelings for many adoptees. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Mike Berry to share tools you can use to navigate this stressful time of year.

Mike Berry is the Co-CEO and Co-Founder of Honestly Adoption, a virtual support, resource, and training site for foster and adoptive families. The Honestly Adoption Company is fiercely committed to helping parents gain insight into their child, change their parenting approach, and in turn, transform their family. They believe strongly in highlighting and spotlighting voices from the entire adoption triad. Mike and his wife Kristen have built this amazing network that has been voted in the Top 5 out of 100 best adoption blogs on earth 5 years in a row by Healthline.com and Feedspot.

What You Will Learn:

  • Become aware that this may be a difficult season for your child

  • Continue to look beneath behaviors for feelings driving behavior

  • To notice your own expectations and how those impact family regulation

  • Be mindful of overstimulation

  • How trauma history can dictate your child's behavior

  • Soothing and regulation tools for the holiday time

Resources: https://honestlyadoption.com

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/honestly-adoption-mike-berry/1129825395

https://www.facebook.com/honestlyadoption/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mikeberrywriting/



more info


11/04/2022
Spotting Signs of Self Injury and How To Help Your Child

If you notice signs of self-injury in your teen, this episode is an invitation not to look the other way and hope it goes away- but to understand that it needs to be explored. This is not meant to replace reaching out for help. If your child is harming themselves, it is important to get help.

There is no one formula for what this behavior looks like, but Dr. Laura talks through various signs to look out for, language to use when talking to your child, and how you can help kids identify and cope with intense feelings.

What You Will Learn:

  • Not all harm is para-s*icidal

  • Self-injury can stem from one of a combination of depression, anxiety, and stress

  • All bodies deserve care

  • What is the process if you have noticed signs of self-injury

Resources:

https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/calm-harm/id961611581



more info


10/22/2022
Protecting Kids From Sexual Content Online and Having Hard Conversations with Amy Lang

As a parent, it is your resonsibility to provide your child with the skills to understand and make good decisions about their body and sex. Kids should start learning about their bodies at as young as 5 years old. These conversations may be daunting, but it is important to push through the discomfort to keep your child safe. Expert Amy Lang joins the Real World Parenting podcast this week to provide tips and scripts for parents to use in educating their kiddo about sexual health.

Amy Lang, MA has been a sexual health educator for over 25 years. Surprised by her discomfort with just the idea of talking with her young son about his body, she knew she needed help. Amy did a bunch of research to learn how to talk with kids about bodies and sexuality and realized she could help other parents with this important part of parenting. In 2006 she started Birds & Bees & Kids. With her lively, engaging, and down-to-earth style she helps parents become comfortable and confident talking with their kids. Amy’s books, online solutions center, and podcast called “Just Say This”,show parents they really can become their kids' go-to birds and bees source.

What You Will Learn:

  • When should you start the conversation on sexual health with your child

  • What should you start with? What to say and how to say it.

  • Push through the discomfort

  • Showing your children what a healthy relationship looks like

  • Avoiding language that leads to shame

Resources:

www.birdsandbeesandkids.com

15% discount for The Birds and Bees Solutions Center for Parents Purchase Amy’s new book, “Sex Talks With Tweens - What to Say & How to Say It!”



more info


10/07/2022
Talking To Your Child About Learning Assessments and Their Results with Liz Angoff, Ph.D.

Lots of folks are seeking assessments to help the family understand the way their child learns and to maximize how rewarding schooling is. We often think more about how to convey your child's needs to professionals at school, but talking to children about it can go overlooked. Children always have a sense that something is different for them, and if we don't talk to them they start to develop their own narratives about what's going on. Those narratives are often very negative and can be harmful following them into adulthood. Beginning the conversation early with your child will help them with their self esteem and identity. This week, DR. Laura Anderson invites Dr. Liz Angoff for a conversation on understanding learning profiles and helping children understand how their brains work.

Liz Angoff, Ph.D., is a Licensed Educational Psychologist with a Diplomate in School Neuropsychology, providing assessment and consultation services to children and their families in the Bay Area, CA. She is the author of the Brain Building Books, tools for engaging children in understanding their learning and developmental differences as part of the assessment process.

What You Will Learn:

  • Is there a predictable pattern in how kids learn?

  • Tools for getting started in your child's assessment

  • How can parents prepare for the assessment process?

  • Helping your child grow to advocate with confidence

  • Finding the language your child uses to explain their experiences so you can meet your child where they're at and solving the problem they want to solve

Resources:

www.BrainBuildingBook.com



more info


09/23/2022
Supporting African American Kids in Predominantly White Communities with Marcie Alvis Walker

Marcie Alvis Walker joins Dr. Laura Anderson on today's podcast. She shares how her cultural experience being raised in a black family within an all white community left her unprepared to navigate raising an African American child in today's world. From there, she has taken the steps to navigate tricky situations and educate others within that space.

Marcie Alvis-Walker is a writer based in Chicago, IL. She is the curator of the popular Instagram handle @blackcoffeewithwhitefriends, which focuses on race, theology, and current events with a corresponding blog of the same name. She is also the writer and creator of Black-Eyed Bible Stories, a Substack newsletter and podcast focused on Black Womanist readings of the Bible. Her goal in life is “to be the voice of my unheard ancestors by creating a written archive of the Black stories for my child and for future generations of children.” She is passionate about what it means to embrace intersectionality, diversity and inclusion in our daily lives.

What You Will Learn:

  • Find out the history of where you live

  • Seek professionals of color

  • Challenge your school board

  • Racism doesn't only hurt people of color, it hurts society at large



more info


09/08/2022
Navigating The Next Phase of Covid in Schools with Aimee Buckley

This episode focuses on learning preparedness as we navigate the next phase of covid in schools. Our kids are not used to what the everyday classroom environment looks like without the safety protocols. It has been a couple years and in a kid's world, that is a long time. Dr. Laura Anderson Invites on full time teacher, Aimee Buckley, to share her tools so your child can thrive in the classroom.

Aimee is an experienced Special Education Teacher with a demonstrated history of success working in education. She is skilled in Coaching, Leadership, Training, and Research. In addition to being a full time teacher, Aimee is the CEO + CAO of Study Help Inc. a tutoring platform that connects credential teachers with families looking for extra academic help. Study Help is the only tutoring service powered by experienced school teachers.

What Your Will Learn:

  • The importance of keeping open lines of communication with your child's teacher

  • How to set parameters around phone time

  • How the increased use of technology has impacted children in the classroom

  • What questions should parents ask their kids and the schools during this time

Resources:

https://study.help



more info


08/26/2022
Understanding Your Child's Sensory System with Jessica Sinarski

The brain gets its info from inside, outside, and all places in between. The most common conversation is of the 5 external facing senses, but what is often overlooked are the internal senses: vestibular, proprioception, and interoception. This episode looks at parenting from a brain based perspective and covers what parents need to know to lead to greater regulation in their homes. Dr. Laura Anderson invites Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH back to the Real World Parenting podcast for a conversation on sensory integration and the connection between the sensory system, brain, heart bodies, behavior, and connection in family.

Jessica Sinarski is a highly sought-after therapist, speaker, and change-maker. Extensive post-graduate training and 15+ years as a clinician and educator led her to create the resource and training platform–BraveBrains. She makes brain science practical, helping parents and professionals become healers for hurting children. She is the author of the award-winning Riley the Brave series, Hello, Anger, and more.

What You Will Learn:

  • Sensory systems that need more or less do not make you weak. It's just how you're wired and it makes life rich.

  • Reasons to reroute your energy into developing your kid's language around sensory feelings

  • How you can work with your child to help them learn to regulate

  • Proactive steps to take to regulate your child's sensory system

  • Tips to navigate the shame and guilt that comes with sensory dysregulation

Resources:

www.rileythebrave.org/senses

https://bravebrains.com



more info


08/12/2022
Is Adoption Trauma Defining? with Simon Benn

This episode poses the question of how central is the adoptee identity to human identity? Are children's struggles adoption related or human related? Dr. Laura Anderson invites guest Simon Benn for a conversation around the lifelong impact of trauma.

Simon Benn was adopted at 5 weeks old and has known this his whole life. It wasn't until 40 years old when he found out that his teddy bear was a gift from his birth mother that he started feeling intense anger about being unloved and not good enough. Simon turned to personal development to find happiness and eventually sold his publishing business to help others. He now is the author of a children's activity book series, Jack Cherry and The Juicer, to share the secret to happiness with children.

What You Will Learn:

  • Trauma is thoughts and feelings, not identity

  • All of your relationships with others start within yourself

  • Feeling wounded does not mean we are wounded

  • This too shall pass

Resources:

https://www.simonbenn.co.uk/



more info


07/29/2022
From a Pile of Puppies to Too Cool For School: Parenting Tweens with Dr. Annie Chung

This week's episode focuses on the period of development in children from ages 11 to 14: the tween years. During this age, the human brain goes through as much growth and change as it does between 0 and 3. Children start exploring their new feelings of independence and begin to clarify distinct aspects of who they are, and will become. This week Dr. Laura Anderson is excited to bring on a really talented clinician and dear friend, Dr. Annie Chung. Dr. Chung has more than twenty years' experience working primarily with tweens. The two talk about the concept of an emotional piggy bank, setting a framework for your child, and how to stay positive when going through challenges and periods of high emotion.

Dr. Annie Chung is a Hawaii Licensed Psychologist with over 20 years of experience. Her specialty lies in promoting healthy parental/family/adolescent functioning and focus on women's issues utilizing patient-centered and solution-focused approaches in psychotherapy.

What You Will Learn:

  • Children need their parents "less", but also differently

  • How to make deposits to your child's emotional piggy bank based on who they are instead of their accomplishments

  • Separation is healthy to help your child learn values, problem solving, and life skills

  • Understand the brain and body are changing rapidly

  • Practice active listening

  • Remember that they need boundaries even when they tell you they don't

  • Ask open-ended questions

  • Build a bridge to them.. keep crossing back and forth and invite them to do the same



more info


07/15/2022
Parenting Different From How You Were Parented with Erica Orosco Cruz

First time parents are faced with the obstacle of navigating not only what parenting styles work for them and their child, but also the feedback they receive from their parents and peers. Often, parents will find themselves actively straying from the path their parents took. It is easy to revert back to what you know even if you have the intention of breaking the cycle. This week, Dr. Laura Anderson invites guest Erica Cruz to the Real World Parenting podcast to share her experience raising her children in a different way from how she was parented and the tools she used to keep herself on course. her perspective using the Waldorf and RIE methods. Dr. Laura and Erica discuss the Waldorf and RIE methods, finding and staying true to your values in parenting, and being mindful of the pendulum swing.

Erica Orosco Cruz is an early childhood development expert and parent coach who helps children, families, and teachers thrive and grow together on the foundation of mutual respect. She is certified through RIE (Resources for Infant Educarers) and is also trained in the Waldorf methods. Erica’s passion for supporting families stems from her own experience as a mother of 4 boys (ranging in ages from 1 to 25!), and a daughter who set out to parent in a different way than she was as a child. While raising her children, she searched to find a program that brought children to the forefront while also providing clear boundaries for mutual respect; a program where children would be seen and heard and where adults would see with new eyes and listen for what was unsaid. When she realized what she was looking for didn’t exist, she founded Homeschool Garden, a now two decade old early childhood development center in Los Angeles.

What You Will Learn:

  • How to navigate when the way you are parenting is different from how you were parented and how to stand confidently in that (while also being flexible)

  • How to navigate when the way you are parenting is different from your cultural/ethnic norms

  • Finding a middle ground that works for you and your children

  • What are the Waldorf and RIE methods

  • Finding the "sweet spot" of setting boundaries, but also allowing your kids agency

  • The arts are as important as reading and writing

  • The importance of staying the course in the presence of overwhelming feedback

  • Modeling behaviors and respect



more info


07/01/2022
Key Elements in Creating Safe Spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and their families with Philip Steinbacher

We are currently living in a time in history where we as a society are talking and learning about sexuality and gender identity. People are understandably confused- and it is as important as ever to create safe spaces for LGBTQ+ youth and their families. Children growing up discovering their sexuality often feel alone in not knowing others who feel the same as they do and feel the pressure of cultural shame. This week's guest is Philip Steinbacher, who shares a variety of small changes that can make a world's difference to children. Philip shares his experience growing up as a gay cisgender male and how it has impacted how he approaches teaching. He has encouraged the staff to create a more welcoming environment and fostered a safe space within a Gay Straight Alliance (GSA) club for both LGBTQ+ students and allies to channel their energy in a productive way.

Professionally, Philip Steinbacher has performed as an entertainer at Walt Disney World and been an educator in public and private schools in Florida, North Carolina, Illinois, and Hawai‘i. He holds a BA in Music and an MA in Elementary Education. Philip is the author of two books, Quotation Quizzlers and Vocabulary Ladders, and has an additional title being released this fall. He is the editor of Garden Island Tea, a digital newsletter spilling the tea about events, opportunities, and news for the Kaua'i LGBTQ+ community. So much for the formal résumé. Currently, Philip prefers to say he is a music lover, bibliophile, impresario, cyclist, pianist, hubby, guncle, friend, author, and dog daddy who appreciates fun clothes and really digs disco balls. He lives on the island of Kaua‘i with his husband Jason and their dog Lucky.

What You Will Learn:

  • What are some small changes you can make so children feel comfortable?

  • Even allies with good intentions need to work on their approach sometimes

  • If we force communication and LGBTQ+ stereotypes, we are going to receive a negative reaction

  • How can parents make an impact in the safe space opportunities within school?



more info


06/17/2022
Strategies for LGBTQ+ Inclusivity In Schools with Cath Brew

This week's episode is all about gender in schools. Any child who is going through a gender journey will need a support system in school. There is an understanding that we need to become inclusive, but many people don't know what that means on a practical level and what comes next. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on guest Cath Brew to help highlight what needs to be different or recognized at school for your child to feel safe, seen, and supported in their two primary environments of home and school.

Cath is an artist who educates and illustrates about marginalised experiences for positive change - with a focus on identity, belonging and expat life. She works with international schools on whole-school LGBTQ+ inclusion together with empowering LGBTQ+ students to be proud. Cath hosts Talk-Back Tuesday: a weekly LGBTQ chat on social media, whilst her podcast ‘Drawn to a Deeper Story’, explores the ‘lives that challenge us and the difficult conversations around them’. Cath also runs 'Crock-of-shit-free' Spiritual Guidance - she helps clients to find inner peace and heal from emotional wounds including ancestral trauma, limiting beliefs, difficult relationships and other internal struggles. Her illustrations can be found on a range of gifts in the Drawn to a Story online shop.

What You Will Learn:

  • The importance of understand the difference of sex and gender

  • It is important to be thorough in changing paperwork needed to reflect your child's new identity

  • Planning discussions with your child on if they want to tell the school about their new identity and how they'd feel comfortable doing so

  • Teaching your child how they can reclaim language and reframe their mindset on certain words

  • Understanding the possibility that your child may come out at school prior to coming out at home

Resources:

Web: www.drawntoastory.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drawntoastory

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrawntoaStory



more info


06/02/2022
Guiding Your Child Through Their Fears Of Random School Based Violence

Today's conversation is in response to the recent acts of gun violence in the United States, specifically the Robb Elementary School shooting in Uvalde, Texas. Entire communities are left on edge following last week's horrific shooting. It is important to help children feel safe in the face of unfathomable danger. Sadly, the need for these conversations is increasing and these conversations are often difficult for parents and kids alike. Dr. Laura Anderson provides step by step scripts for how to talk to kids about the potential of violence in school, how to manage their fears, and how to approach conversation about events out of our control. Step By Step Plan

What You Will Learn:

  • How to prepare for tough conversations

  • Language that is especially helpful in these situations

  • Step by step scripts for conversations with your child

  • Healthy coping strategies for you and your child

  • Next steps to continue healthy habits beyond the initial conversation

For a detailed outline of this process, head to https://www.drlauraanderson.com/real-world-parenting-podcast/ep28-school-based-violence



more info


05/20/2022
Dealing With The Grief Of Ambiguous Loss with Lisette Lahana

This week's episode aims to normalize the idea of the loss of your kid not being who you imagined who they would be. This is a universal experience for parents as most kids, once they start developing their own identities, start to have interests and hobbies that may not align with what you'd imagined for them. Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Lisette Lahana, LCSW to share her expertise in how grief affects families who raise a gender expansive child.

Lisette Lahana is a licensed clinical social worker with Bachelor degrees in Critical Gender Studies and Psychology and a Masters of Social Work from Smith College. Her extensive experience providing gender affirming care to transgender, non binary, intersex, those questioning and people who are re-transitioning spans over 23 years. She is a certified member and mentor with World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) since 2002. Lisette has a full-time psychotherapy practice where she works individually with clients of all ages with a primary focus on gender.

What You Will Learn:

  • How grief can be affirming of a gender expansive child and how it can get in the way

  • You can grieve aspects of a child’s gender journey without grieving who they are

  • It's okay to let your child know you're struggling ( including do’s and don’ts for how to share that)

  • The two types of ambiguous loss

  • When you find ways to grieve the loss of your own expectations, you make room to celebrate your child

Resources:

https://www.lisettelahana.com/



more info


05/06/2022
Keep Your Knees Bent and Love Without Fear with Eden Atwood

If we haven't done our internal work to understand our implicit bias, we could be protecting our client from something integral to their identity. The more shame and secrecy we have the more we undercut our children's opportunity to be prepared. This week's episode dives into how you can provide the space for your child to flourish. All human beings have a right to bodily autonomy and self determination.

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on guest Eden Atwood for the conversation. Eden opens up about her story in learning about her intersex diagnosis, discussing medical trauma, and offers parenting tools to work through your fears.

Eden Atwood is a parent and social worker who is currently in private practice. Atwood has been an outspoken advocate and activist for children born with differences of sex development and co-founded the online intersex awareness-raising website, The Interface Project.

What You Will Learn:

  • Leading with fear doesn't do anything positive

  • Community is key

  • Fostering a sense of bodily autonomy

  • Sheep, shepherd, and pasture metaphor

  • Keep your knees bent

Resources:

https://www.interfaceproject.org

https://edenatwoodlcsw.com



more info


04/22/2022
Parenting: From My Child's Perspective

This week's guest is one of Dr. Laura Anderson's favorite people in the whole world: her 13-year-old son. The two share an open and honest conversation through the lens of a therapist parent and child relationship. He candidly shares some of his favorite parts of having a therapist parent and offers some suggestions for ways to get through to your child.

What You Will Learn:

  • How parenting lands on your kid from a child's perspective

  • How to communicate more effectively with your kid

  • Reasons to ask for impromptu feedback

  • The importance of staying regulated as a parent to provide for your child



more info


04/08/2022
The Cost of Politicizing Gender with Rhodes Perry

In a study presented by The Trevor Project, 85% of trans and nobinary youth have mentioned that the recent debates about their lived experience has negatively impacted their mental health. It is important to know and take into consideration that parents are making decisions for their children in a time where systems are displaying conflicting messages. For families raising LGBTQ+ children, political decisions can have major personal impacts. This week's conversation addresses the current political climate and conversations surrounding LGBTQ+ journeys, parents' concerns, and aims to normalize the LGBTQ+ experience.

Dr. Laura Anderson brings on this week's guest Rhodes Perry to share his expertise and perspectives of being a trans person. Rhodes Perry is an award winning social entrepreneur, sought after speaker, podcast host, and a nationally recognized LGBTQ+ thought leader.

What you will learn:

  • Each of us establishes a gender identity and sexual orientation

  • The importance of developing an antenna to find spaces that are safe

  • Ways that cigender and straight people can use their privilege to say no to the negative narrative

  • Adults can bear the brunt of the learning and discomfort so that kids don't have to

  • There is hope!- from the perspective of a happy, healthy transgender adult

Resources:



more info


03/25/2022
A Conversation About Gender Identity Part 2

Gender identity is a complex web, and the world of gender is a beautiful place to learn to expand your own limitations and automatic thinking. Join Dr. Laura for part 2 of this conversation where she dives deeper into gender, kids, and pronouns.

The likelihood of raising a child who is gender expansive is the same as raising a child who is left handed. Children need to be able to explore themselves and their gender, regardless of how they identify themselves. The safest thing you can do is to learn with them. In this episode, Dr. Laura shares tools for parents to create a safe space for their children that allows them to explore their identity.

What You Will Learn?

  • How to build trust between you and your child so they feel safe

  • Dealing with your fear of the unknown challenges ahead

  • You can not create a gender expansive identity in a child who is not on the spectrum as it were

  • Your child needs you in this journey



more info


03/11/2022
A Conversation About Gender Identity Part 1

Gender identity is a complex web, and the world of gender is a beautiful place to learn to expand your own limitations and automatic thinking. For parents and others trying to learn how to best support children, there is a tremendous amount of misinformation circulating about gender identity and kids and teens. Join me for a careful thoughtful exploration of this important topic.

A big piece of our job as parents is to teach our children to tune into their intuition and stand strong in who they are. Yet, often parent's struggle with navigating parenting a child exploring their gender identity. Dr. Anderson invites you to consider that you are not the brakes or the accelerator in your child's gender exploration. If you are a parent new to this journey, each child's experience is different. The key piece is centering your child, establishing a common language, and continuing to be open to learning.

In this episode, Dr. Laura offers a parent's view of how gender identity works, what to do, what not to do, and who to turn to for help when your child is exploring their identity. Tune in next week for Part 2, which includes scripts for what to say if your child comes to you with questions about their gender.

What You Will Learn?

  • What is gender identity?

  • What does the term non-binary mean?

  • The importance of battling misinformation so parents are well-informed objectively

  • Clarifying the different between sexual orientation and gender identity



more info


02/25/2022
Learning To Let Go Of The Curling Parent Lifestyle

This week Dr. Laura Anderson continues the conversation on the parental illusion of control by focusing on what is known as the curling or helicopter parent. Curling is that quirky sport in which people rush and brush the ice immediately in front of a swirling stone, in hopes of clearing its path and having it land just where you want it. Curling parenting fosters a sense of dependence within your child. This week Dr. Anderson is joined by Rashid Curtis, her long time friend and girl-dad-to-three-teens. This episode highlights higher level ways to organize your child's time and bring out the best of their interests. Instead, we'll help you transition into using intentional parenting tactics that will help your child grow into the person they have the potential to become.

Rashid is a business strategy consultant and entrepreneur. He specializes in customer and market strategy, by providing business development services to companies in the consumer products, healthcare, life sciences, media and technology industries. Rashid turned his passion for real estate into Triangle Flats, a an investor agency located in Durham, NC. The culmination of twin passions, real estate and entrepreneurship, this small firm assist people acquiring, remodeling, renting and selling investment properties in the Southeastern United States. Rashid lives in Durham, NC with his wife, three children (19, 18 and 12 year old girls) and a labradoodle named Leo.

What You Will Learn:

  • Your child needs more time with their peers and less time with their parents

  • Foster the ability for your child to learn how to tune into their emotions, their sense of being, and their sense of right from wrong

  • How to help your child trust themselves

  • When we're doing it for them they don't learn

  • The importance of finding self motivation and self interest

Resources:

http://www.linkedin.com/in/rashidcurtis



more info


02/11/2022
The Illusion of Control and The Importance of Self-Care in Parenting

Often the more responsibility we have the less we take care of ourselves. This week Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Dr. Rachel Mitchum Elahee. Dr. Rachel operates from the philosophy that no matter what we have going on we must take care of ourselves. Self care looks different for everyone, but this episode is all about figuring out what self care means to you and how to build these practices into your life. Come laugh and grimace with Drs. Laura and Rachel about how letting go of the illusion of control in parenting is a great way to practice self-care.

Dr. Rachel is a Licensed Psychologist, Certified Diversity Practitioner, Certified Professional Coach, and Author of Choose You! As an entrepreneur, wife and mother of four, she has developed a keen passion for supporting busy women leading busy lives. inspires women with the practical and tangible skills necessary to achieve greater life satisfaction, professional productivity and ultimately, a peace of mind. She believes that in order to excel in their careers, women must first excel in their personal lives.

What You Will Learn:

  • How the illusion of control in parenting is a huge source of stress

  • Ways to foster independence & strong skill sets in your child

  • Ideas for setting boundaries in your self care practices

  • Reminders to find an accountability partner who has your best interest at heart

  • That the most common source of pushback is from yourself

  • Tips to reignite your passion for life

Resources:

https://www.amazon.com/Choose-You-Reignite-Passion-2014-12-04/dp/B01K3RH65Q



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01/28/2022
The Brain Behavior Connection

All behavior comes from the brain. I used to think that was reductionist. But in this episode we talk about trauma, attachment loss, the brain and the connection between these things and behavior. If we don't understand trauma and brain science, many children and parents experience blame, shame and failure. In reality, many trauma responses and challenging behaviors are a sign of growth.

Superheroes are born from adversity. Villain stories are often similar, but with no safety provided along the way. The more we understand our brains and our children's brains, the more we can help them to grow into the super humans they are capable of becoming.This week, Dr. Laura Anderson brings on Jessica Sinarski, LPCMH to share tips for parents to use to help both themselves and their children work through the hard stuff. You have to believe there is hope in this approach to try it, and you have to try this approach to believe it.

Jessica's superpower is making brain science accessible and entertaining for children and adults alike. She is living this out as a licensed mental health counselor & supervisor, bilingual author, and dynamic presenter. Since she loathes the dry, adult language found in many “therapy books,” she crafted the RILEY THE BRAVE series to be books that children and parents can’t wait to read and re-read.

What You Will Learn:

  • Why it is important to BOTH Celebrate the courage of survival AND celebrate learning to trust

  • Why it is important to understand the upstairs downstairs brain, and tips for staying regulated so you can build a staircase between the two sections

  • How we can help parents wrap their minds around why brain science matters, and how to our kids about it.

  • Key concepts for parents to help their children stay regulated

Resources:

www.RileyTheBrave.org

https://bravebrains.com



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