Motivation Information |
Are You a Right-Fighter?
Are You a "Right-Fighter"? Do you find yourself struggling to "win" arguments? Do people ask you why you always have to be right? Does conflict you engage in typically end with you having the last word, but no one feels good about the argument? Do arguments you engage in usually escalate to shouting and anger? If you have said yes to any of these questions, you are likely a right-fighter! What is a "Right-Fighter" A right-fighter is someone who struggles to win arguments, even if they doubt their own view. A right-fighter is someone who gets overly emotional or angry when people do not agree with them and their opinions or beliefs. A right-fighter is someone who insists on having the last word in an argument or refuses to back down no matter what. Challenges of Being a "Right-Fighter" 1) People who are right-fighters, (or those who are driven by the need to be right), have their value or worth literally attached to the outcome of being right. On a very deep level, a right-fighter believes that if she is not agreed with then she is not valuable, lovable and/or worthy. The "right-fighter" desperately believes (unconsciously) that others must agree with her to feel ok about herself. Being a right-fighter causes you to depend upon others for your self-esteem and worth. 2) Right-Fighting is an acceptable form of violence or aggression. Because the right-fighting pattern usually ends up one sided and includes a winner and a loser, the effects are similar to those of physical abuse. Learned submission on the part of the children and often the other parent/spouse is inevitable. "Right-Fighting" is in fact a form of emotional abuse. A right-fighter parent is particularly harmful to children because the child is made to feel like the "loser" and that his or her opinions arenot valid or important. Right-fighting is a direct reflection of low self-esteem. And unfortunately the low self-esteem of one steals the development of strong self-esteem of others. Negative Outcomes of "Right-Fighting" Women ~ Loved ones around a right-fighting women experience consistent feelings of defeat and learn to seriously doubt their capabilities, lovability and value as a human. The result is oftenalienation. ~ Right-Fighting is an especially dangerous behavior for mothers. A very common outcome of right-fighting is that it tends to breed explosiveness and anger within the home environment. ~ Because the nature of a right-fighting parent is to prove his/her value and worthiness through being "right", it is at the same time stealing a strong sense of value and worthiness from the children. Any timeparents have low self-esteem, the children will too.~ Frequently right-fighters are managers, bosses or owners of companies because they are strong and powerful (which when used well are merely 2 of the abounding excellent qualities of the right-fighter!).Unfortunately, the right-fighting work environment creates disloyalty, frequent turnover, dishonesty, ineffectiveness, and an every man for himself attitude. (I'll save right-fighting in the workplace for anothertime!) Do Not Despair! If you have found that you may have some qualities of a right-fighter, don't start beating yourself up, begin working on it! You are a wonderful and lovable person with far more positive qualities than negative... this is certain! This habit does NOT have to define you. You are capable of releasing this habit at any time (please seek help if you need it, a partner in change is always a wonderful gift to yourself and your family!). Acknowledging your habit of right-fighting and becoming aware when you are engaging in this habit is the first, most important step in leading a more successful and happy life. Action Step "Right-fighters": Begin to gently remind yourself of your unchanging value and worth during arguments and disagreements, whether or not you fully believe it. "Fake it till you make it"! Begin to imagine what conflict would be like if the outcome was not important. Begin to allow others to hold one opinion and you another without having ill or hurt feelings. What would life be like to be loved, cared for and respected rather than being "right"? Try validating others' opinions as equally valuable. This doesn't mean you must agree, only to say "yes" you and your view are as valuable as mine". I promise you, peace will begin to flow into your life. About Author:Momentum Performance Development is a personal and professional coaching company. When you commit to one of our programs, our team of experts in sport, career, and family performance development will assist in exponentially changing your life for the better. This means high performance success for you. We are committed to your results! Sign up for our FANTASTIC newsletters at http://www.create-momentum.com/
MORE RESOURCES: Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting |
RELATED ARTICLES
Day Dream Believer I am sure you, just like the rest of us, experienced all sorts of day dreams when you were younger. Who amongst us did not find themselves, at one time or another, in the precarious position of being blissfully lost in day dream when one of our teachers called on us in class? You know how that story went. You are the Master of Your Destiny Every thought of a human being is transformed as picture in everybody's mind.The picture transformed into your mind will be depending upon your thought. ACTION is More Important than Knowledge! It was Albert Einstein who stated that 'imagination is more important than knowledge'. Now if he had been addressing a room full of entrepreneurs, I hazard a guess that he might also have extended this quotation by saying that 'action is more important than knowledge too!'Make no mistake, if you want to make your mark on this world as an entrepreneur you have to consistently take ACTION! Not only that, you will also need to have the ability to inspire other people into ACTION as well. Does Your Battery Need Recharging? A technical support person in a pager company tells the story of a customer call to the customer service center from a man who repeatedly complained he was being paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. Rules To Live Life By How often have we heard ourselves complaining about how unlucky we are in life or how things are just not working out right for us. However, what we so easily forget is that at some time before in lives, luck has favoured us. 7 Key Steps to Unshakable Confidence Do you remember that day? Perhaps it was your first job interview. Perhaps you were speaking to a group for the first time. The Secret Motivation Strategy That Never Fails No matter how much you want to make your dreams come true you still need some practical ways to keep yourself motivated over the long term. You need the ability to keep going in the face of setbacks, disappointments and short-term frustrations. 7 SECRETS To A Great Life A great life doesn't happen by accident. A great life is the result of allocating your time, energy, thoughts, and hard work towards what you want your life to be. How To Beat Procrastination At Work Listen. If you donīt beat procrastination at work the long term consequences could be serious. DAMAGED On the J-O-B. That's where I met him. Training Your Mind to Help You Our friend, singer and songwriter Chuck Pyle, likes to say, "The mind is like a bad neighborhood-you should never go there by yourself." If you're mind hasn't been trained to help you, via methods like meditation, shamanism or NLP, it might really be a bad neighborhood. I'll Do It In A Minute... Or Maybe I Won't 'Procrastination is like a credit card: it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.'Christopher ParkerDo you suffer from distractibility? I do. Finding Your Authentic Path "Deep in their roots, all flowers keep the light." ~ Theodore RoethkeThe last of the lazy, hazy days of summer are upon us. Maintaining Your Motivation I recently spoke to a group of sales professionals at the end of their training conference. The attendees had participated in many learning sessions over a two day period - most of which were product related. How to Use Discouragement to Motivate Yourself Ever feel like giving up? Do you ever feel so discouraged that even one more day of frustration will be too much too handle?Everyone gets discouraged at times only there are a number of key differences between people who keep on going and those who give up:1 Focus On Your Goal Not On Your ProblemsOne of my mentors is a highly successful property developer and he loves solving problems. All day long he can take on one problem after the next and just keep going. Growing Out of Your Comfort Zone It has been said that "if you are not growing, you're dying." As human beings, we are on a constant journey called life. 7 Magical Ways To Stop Procrastination There are a number of techniques to help you stop procrastination once and for all. If you can stop procrastination in your life just think about what you could accomplish and how much better you would feel. L-I-V-E-- 12 Steps to Living Your Life Many of us only inhabit our lives- we do not Live our lives. But, we can. Rebirth from the Ashes The legend of the phoenix can actually be found in several belief systems. It can be traced back to ancient Egypt when it was then known as "Bennu" or Bynw", a symbol of the sun god Osiris. Recommendations for the Best Personal Growth Books I can't stress this enough: You've got to motivate yourself in order to motivate your team. You don't motivate people, they motivate themselves (or they don't). |
home | site map | contact us |