| |
| |
|
Marriage & Wedding Information |
|
Intimacy, What is It Really?
Simply put, intimacy is more than sex or making love. It's more than the physical or even emotional connection you feel with your partner. Intimacy involves a soul connection between two people. While instant chemistry can be exciting and thrilling, the chemistry that makes marriages work usually grows over time. This special chemistry between two people involves excellent communication and self sacrifice more than physical attraction. It takes trust, patience, and willingness to talk and to listen. With greater intimacy, married partners can have a more satisfying and fulfilling romantic life. They can learn what pleases each other. For example, your wife may not like flowers all of the time. She may desire a massage, or a well cooked meal. Or your husband may not want the latest fashionable sweater. It's a clean car or your full attention, he desires most. Being able to express what you want is important and genuinely listening to your spouse are key factors in building an intimate romance. Unfortunately, these skills aren't fully developed in most marriages, so as the saying goes: "Married people can be some of the loneliest people in the world." What generally inhibits partners from building deeper relationships with each other? Cary Barbor writes, "One partner (often the woman) will fight to break down defenses and create more intimacy while the other (often the man) will withdraw and create distance. So the "dance of intimacy" follows: If the woman gets too close, the man pulls back. If he moves too far away, she pursues, and so on." -- Finding Real Love - Intimacy and Alienation, Psychology Today (Jan 2001) She also comments that we often try to recreate and fulfill our childhood desires through our marriage partners. We're attracted to people because they remind us of our parents (OR what we wanted our parents to be). When we realize that they are too much like our mother or our father, we become frustrated, communication breaks down, and we build self-protecting "walls". So how can you grow in intimacy with your marriage partner? Here are some keys to unlock the mystery of deeper intimacy. Determine what you really need out of the relationship. Is friendship more important than financial stability? Or must the bills be paid on time even if your spouse doesn't have much time with you? Can you sacrifice long conversations for more affectionate behavior? Or do you need to talk things out no matter how long it takes? The list can go on. Determine what your spouse really needs. At first your husband or wife may be reluctant to share what he or she needs. They may have never really thought about it in an organized fashion. Maybe it would help to have him/her write down his/her desires when he/she is relaxed. Some suggestions: do a really nice deed for your partner like, drawing a warm bath or cooking a nice meal. Then ask them to take the time to think about what they need in the relationship. Make an effort to change your behavior everyday. If your partner needs more space, draw back a little. If they need more of your time, tune out any distractions and pay attention to your spouse. You may start with fifteen or twenty minutes with no TV, phone, computer, radio, etc. and then gradually increase your time to one to two hours of uninterrupted time per day. Finally, take care of yourself. If you are frazzled, you won't be a fun person to be around. Make sure that you have your own "me" time everyday where you can pray, meditate, and take care of your personal needs. Whether it's writing in a journal, reading a good book, giving yourself a manicure, or just vegging out, do it. You and your spouse will be happy you did. Keishia Lee-Louis is the Executive Editor of http://www.Married4Good.com (November 2005). Her work has appeared on iVillage.com, BibleResourceCenter.com, and in many other publications.Currently, she's writing a book on marriage and relationships which will be published in Spring 2006. To read more of her work see http://married4good.blogspot.com
MORE RESOURCES:
|
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Outdoor Wedding Ceremonies - Keeping Your Guest Comfortable According to a survey conducted in 2003 by Bride's magazine, 15% of all couples choose an outdoor wedding, and that trend is growing. But with a all of the beauty and simplicity that an outdoor wedding brings, it also brings added anxiety from the force known as Mother Nature. Diamond Engagement Ring, on Two Months Salary - Maybe Not! Diamond spending - well, that is up to you. What to spend on a diamond is a tough and personal question. Marriage Counseling: What Do Wives Really Want in a Husband? Part Two In Part One, we looked at what wives really want in a husband and we identified two things in particular. Wives want a soulmate who they feel deeply connected to and they want emotional support and emotional intimacy. The A To Z Guide For Your Wedding Day AttendantsAttendants, include the best man, Bridesmaid, ushers, and groomsmen. Generally any people with some sort of responsibility on the big day. Lingerie Party Ideas: Tips to Help Break the Ice Are you in the process of planning that last special party for the soon to be bride?Before you go strait to the "good stuff", you may want to break the ice with some fun and games. Not only will people feel more comfortable but the event itself will be much more memorable. How to Plan Your Wedding and Honeymoon 1. Weddings typically can cost you anywhere around $15,000 or more. 6 Ways to Save Money on Wedding Invitations Inviting your possible guests on your wedding day can be costly. You have to give them traditional wedding cards to inform them of the date and venue, and possibly those cards are made of elegant or high quality papers and other materials that might cost a lot. Help is Here for Your Wedding Ceremony When it comes to your wedding services, nobody wants to spend too much and yet have to foot the bill for the reception. Really it depends on where you want to your wedding to be and what type of service that you are hoping to have. Classic White Color for Bridal Gown Ever since Queen Victoria wed in 1840, however, white has remained the traditional color for wedding gowns and bouquets. A woman then used her dress for Court Presentation after marriage, usually with a different bodice. 10 Ideas for Perfect Wedding Gifts Wedding ceremonies are the stuff fairy tales are made of. Marriages are made in heaven, it is said. Wedding Gifts for Second Marriages Second marriages can be a tricky situation for a variety of reasons. There may be problems with step kids, ex spouses or even some religious stumbling blocks for the marriage taking place. Eight Ways to Divorce Proof Your Marriage 1) Write a mission statement:Most brides spend more time planning for their wedding day than for the marriage itself and are unprepared for what happens after the "I do." More than half of newlyweds will struggle to maintain a fraction of the friendship they now enjoy with their spouse. Choosing Your Groomsmen: No Matter What They Say, Nobody Must Be In the Wedding Party Your lovely fiancée has chosen her 'maids, and now you're stuck with the task of finding just the right number of family and friends to pair them with. How do you decide who makes the cut? The Usual Suspects Remember: No matter what your family or friends say, there aren't people who "must" be in the wedding party. Destination Weddings in Oregon Oregon is one of the most marvelous places in the world. Blessed with a variety of climates, landscapes, cultural diversity, tourist attractions, beautiful cities and friendly people can make the wedding day fantasies of any couple come true. When To Order and Send Your Wedding Invitations Wedding Invitations should be ordered when you have all the details of your wedding set? place, time of ceremony and reception as well as your guest list. Plan to place your invitation order at least 3-4 months in advance, some companies may require 4-6 months. How to Find The Perfect Wedding Dress You want the perfect wedding dress, so you have made it a major focus of your pre wedding planning. There are some things you need to find from the bridal shop, before you even look at your first gown. Create A Beautifull Wedding Album With A Simple And Fun Way Hi If you are getting married or have a Bar Bat Mitzvah or special event then you should read this article. Many times people who have an important event hire a photographer, videographer wedding consultants, and or coordinators, florists, lino service, ect. How to Have a Dream Wedding on a Budget No one wants to pay more than they have to for anything, especially something as costly as a wedding. And if you're like me, and you had to foot your own bill, then you certainly want to keep costs down. Honeymoon Vacation Ideas can be Economical If you are looking for honeymoon vacation ideas that will be the most enjoyable without putting you into massive debt, consider some of these tips.The purpose of the honeymoon vacation is only minimally to live for a few days like extravagant royalty. Top Wedding Fitness Questions (and their answers) As a Personal Trainer for brides-to-be, I often get asked the same wedding fitness questions over and over again. Brides (and grooms) usually are looking for simple and easy ways to get in better shape for their special day.
|
| home | site map | contact us |
