Bedroom Marketing

Hopefully we are all adults here, so let's talk about sex for just a minute. No, I'm not talking about porn sites, I'm talking about taking a look at what I call 'Bedroom Marketing' and applying the same principles to Internet marketing.

I don't care if you're a female or a male. Play this scenario out in your head:

You walk in the door and yell "Honey, I'm home. Take off your clothes and jump into bed because I really want you and I know that you want me too."

I don't know how things work around your house, but over in my neck of the woods it's going to be "No Sale". And why would you expect anything different? Let's take a look at what was done wrong.

This was a high-pressure attempt to "make the sale" without any regard for the feelings or state of mind of the other party.

It was assumed that the other party was in the mood to "buy" and the pitch did not give the person any other option but to say "Yes" or "No" when a "maybe later" would have given the desired results.

There was no attempt at rapport building.(OK, Dr. Ruth doesn't call it "rapport building" but you know what I mean.)

There was a failure to build the other person's interest in and excitement level over the offered "product or service".

So, if you wouldn't expect that kind of approach to work with someone who hopefully loves and trusts you, why in the world would you think it would work with complete strangers?

You know what I'm talking about. We've all received an email that says something like:

"Wow, I just discovered the most amazing program. My sponsor has only been in for 14 days and he's already made $144,000!!!!!!!!! This is so good, trust me I know a good thing when I see one. THIS IS NOT A SCAM!!!!!!!!! Just click here and pay a one-time $19.99 NO SPONSORING!!!!!!!! I'll help you make money. This CAN'T FAIL!!!!!!!!!!! Just sit back and let the money roll in!!!!!!! I joined Monday and already I've made over $200!!!!!!!!!!"

The so-called marketer blows this ad out to 155,000 Safelists, FFA and Classified sites, and maybe SPAMs a few news groups along the way. Two days go by and no sales. The Marketer quits in disgust and tells everyone that Internet Marketing is a scam and no one is making any money. "Trust me," he says, "I know, I tried."

You think I'm exaggerating? One of the sites that I own is a Safelist Autoposter. We sell membership for $4.99 per month and our members can automatically post their ads to hundreds of safelists, with hundreds of thousands of members who have agreed to receive them.

Anyway, whenever someone cancels their subscription we automatically send them an email containing an Exit Poll form. We offer them the chance to win $50 in return for telling us why they quit. (We also recommend one of our other sites that may be better suited for them, but that's another article.) We learn a lot about how to make our program better, but we also get to scratch our heads in wonder over responses like this one:

"I've been a member of your site for 10 days now and I haven't sold a thing. The Internet is full of thieves and liars and you're just one more of them."

Out of curiosity, I checked the sales letter he's been sending. Here's what he wrote:

"You are paying too much for your long distense service. Send an email to (address deleted) and see HOW MUCH IT WILL COST YOU with mine."

Ok, let's take a look at what he did wrong besides failing to run his spell checker.

He made a high pressure attempt to "make the sale" without any regard for the feelings or state of mind of the other party. Not only was it high pressure, but it held his offer out in a negative fashion when he said,

"Send an email to (deleted) and see HOW MUCH IT WILL COST YOU with mine."

Sheesh, at least he could have said "how LITTLE it will cost you."

What he did was the equivalent of saying:"Honey, I'm home and I'm dirty and sweaty and I had a garlic and onion sandwich which I'm still burping up every five minutes."

"Take off your clothes and jump into bed because I really want you and I know that you want me too."

Sure, that's a home run proposition waiting to be hit out of the park.

He assumed that his prospect was in the mood to "buy" and did not give them any other option but to say "Yes" or "No" when a "maybe later" would have given you the results he was seeking.

In fact, he really didn't give them any option at all when he said:"Send an email to (deleted)."

No one in their right mind is going to respond to an offer from a total stranger and give that stranger their email address. It's no wonder he didn't make any sales.

He didn't take any time to build a rapport. He tried (and failed) to pull off a slam-bam-thank you-m'am (or whiz-whirr-thank you sir) and fell flat on his face. Try walking up to someone in a bar and saying, "Hi, are you hungry or horny," and see how well you do.

He failed to build an excitement level over his product or service. He didn't even build a mild curiosity level. In fact, his letter doesn't even rate a twitch of the right eyebrow.

Hmmm, does all of this sound familiar? I wonder what would happen if he tried that on his spouse when he arrived home from work? No nookie there I'd bet, and no sale from his ad either.

I see so many people fail in their attempts to advertise their product or services. A lot of them tell the same story as Mr. No Nookie in the example above. Keep this in mind -- Even though the Internet offers an instant medium for reaching people all around the world, the basic laws of sales have not changed. In order to close the deal you must:

1. Eliminate any high pressure attempts to make the sale. Stop using hype and, for Pete's sake, use the exclamation point sparingly! Not only is an educated prospect more likely to buy, but they are also more likely to refer others to your site, and they are more likely to respond to future offers that you make to them.

Give the customer an option of saying "No". Some truly interested prospects just won't be able to buy right now for a variety of legitimate reasons. Make sure that you offer them the opportunity to join your e-zine or newsletter, or sign up for an autoresponder series. Do something that gives you the opportunity to stay in front of that customer until they are ready to say "Yes".

2. Go slowly and get your prospect into the mood to buy. Don't rush in there and yell "Give me your money". Take the time to determine what the reasons are that someone will buy your product and weave those reasons into a word picture that elevates the prospect's curiosity and enhances their buying mood.

3. Build a rapport with your prospect. People want to be talked to, not at. Show them that you are a friend and a expert in your field by EDUCATING them and not SELLING them. Combine this step with step #2, and you can write as long of a sales letter as you need (but not ONE WORD LONGER) without fear of losing the truly interested prospect.

4. Create a level of excitement over your product or service by explaining how it's going to change their life, or save them money, or make them look more attractive, or whatever your USP (Unique Selling Proposition) is.

What works in the bedroom works in the market place. Try it!

Len Dozois is a freelance article and copy writer and "Chief of Surgery" at http://www.CopySurgery.com.