Humor Information |
How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!
We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents. Later in life, we want to be seen and noticed by friends and family. And when running most any type of business, we must attract the attention of our potential customers. But how do you get somebody's undivided attention? When you were an infant, you got attention by screaming and crying. Then your parents knew you needed your diapers changed. As an adult, you can try using the same method to get noticed. Sure, you will get noticed - but in a negative way! On the Internet, every website that is selling something has the need to be attention-grabbing within seconds; to make the visitors read about their offer rather than just clicking away. Some are then tempted to use the infant method of getting attention: screaming and yelling. Popup-windows that pop up in your face and obscure the page text you're just trying to read, is one example. Flash-generated intro's that stop you in your tracks and say "Heeey, wait - before you read about our products I've got this f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c visual effect to show you...!" is another example of attention-grabbing contraptions that actually defeat their own purpose. They visually yell and scream at you, and draw your attention to the fact that you'd better spend your precious time somewhere else. Then there is the type of web page that plays some sound effect the moment you arrive. Either it is a piece of music (always just the kind you hate!) or a recorded sales pitch. Oh yes, then there is the Blinking Text... which blinks at frantic pace, just right to trigger an epileptic seizure. One of my websites is called "The Hosting Finder". Primarily, it offers some reviews of carefully selected web hosting companies. I am not selling anything on this website, and so I do not feel it would be appropriate to use a hard-selling jargon in my introductory headline. Right now, it reads: "Finding a Web Hosting Provider That Will Take Good Care of Your Precious WebPages ... Can Be Confusing" (I then explain how I researched the web to find good hosting services based on un-biased customer ratings rather than hype.) Recently, a marketing consultant offered to look at this website and give me some feedback at no cost. I accepted, and after checking my landing page he declared the headline to be "generic and bland". Instead, he suggested the following: "Want An Objective 'Client Feedback' Guide To Help You Find A 100% Trustworthy, Inexpensive, And Complete Web Hosting Service Provider (Based On Survey Results, Not Marketing Propaganda) -- With All The Options You Need To Run Your Web Site Smoothly And Successfully? Avoid The Hosting Nightmare Of Trying To Keep Your Site Live And Running Smoothly... Stop Wasting Time And Money In Costly Bad Service" In my reply, I thanked him for his trouble. I also pointed out that this flood of words might not be the optimal way of building confidence in my integrity as the provider of impartial reviews on web hosting. Maybe I am wrong, who knows. Perhaps I should start yelling and screaming just like everybody else? But I just don't like the idea of doing that. I'd rather hypnotize people into reading my texts. Some marketing gurus advocate this approach. Here are a few examples of how you're supposed to hypnotize people: 1. As you keep reading this ad copy, you are feeling more and more compelled to experience all the benefits of our product. 2. The more you understand just how valuable our product could be to your life, the less you think about delaying this important purchase. 3. After you read this short ad you will feel like your problems are almost completely solved, all you will have to do is order. Well, don't you feel compelled to reach for your wallet right now?! These examples are not intended as a joke; they are seriously trying to persuade people. And maybe they are, although I personally find them more amusing than hypnotizing. - I'll make a pause here; I just feel I have to go out and buy something! :-) OK, I am back. Time to finish this little essay on how to get attention. Oh, you have read this far? So I have managed to keep your attention then! I did it by ... no, I won't give my secret away. You'll have to read my Special Report, which I'm selling for ONLY $97. But hurry, this exclusive limited special offer is expiring, and will always expire, at midnight; whatever day you happen to read this! :-) Kai Virihaur is a researcher, web developer, and artist. He runs The Hosting Finder ( http://www.thehostingfinder.com ), a web hosting directoryfeaturing articles and RSS feeds on web development, website promotion, and online marketing. The article may be used freely as long as this resource box, with intact hyperlink, is included.
MORE RESOURCES: Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting |
RELATED ARTICLES
Setting History Straight Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the name Artie Seymour? Probably not. But you will, you will, when the word gets around about how these two inglorious talents were by-passed, how they missed being touched by the magic wand of Fate. Starbucks Going into Hilton Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong, Crew Member Starbucks is not doing Paris Hilton. What I am saying here is Starbucks will now be offered in some Hilton Hotels. Saving SpongeBob Using High Tech Put Active RFID Satellite Tags in SpongeBobsSpongeBob has been in the news a lot lately, he has been a kidnapped Victim. Instead of wasting time with an Amber Alert for SpongeBob, why not put an Active RFID Satellite Tags in the SpongeBobs so we can track them to the culprits. Laughing Toward Truth: Six Tips for Lighthearted Thinkers Do you believe in the power of your convictions?It's time to lighten up.People love attaching themselves to ideas. A French Teachers Memories: First Day at School Despite my diplomas that allowed me to teach in state secondary schools, and my requests, I had been appointed to teach to a sixth-grade class. At least, I almost worked in my backyard. Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never sleeps" should visit The Maternity Ward. My recent visit included a drop-in on several screenings of "A Star Is Born" at the late-show theatre, right near Mama's Breast (all night milk bar) and Papa's Gas Station ("We burp you on your way. Tales of a Spectator Spectator Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just as fun as watching the players. From the silent statues to the loud cartoon caricatures, from the self-contained families and social groups to those who fully participate with the game, from the normal to the abnormal to the absolutely bizarre, the crowd at the stadium is a microcosm of the human race . Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp To: Maybelle MisfireFrom: I. M. Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasuresis delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker. Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way. The Jokes On You -- Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes? This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand) about the performance of a local magician at a child's birthday party. Now, granted, this wasn't done by a clown, but I've seen clowns doing similar things. Humor Under The Keyboards For me, the piano is the symbol of what is stiff, proper and elegant. It doesn't have faults, it is perfect. The Spare Parts Gremlins Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure you do. Everybody does. I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born I will start this by saying that yes, I did miss being an April Fool, but only by a tiny margin. I was born just twenty minutes after midnight on April 2nd, and the events of the prior day in my home were quite interesting to say the least. Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack. 25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection while one is welding; however, there are definitely many other uses for a welding helmet. A welding helmet is a very practical that should be found in every home. Pee Here Now Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my new insurer sent a uniformed nurse with short black hair to my house to conduct a health assessment. We sat at my kitchen table and she officiously asked questions about my health history. Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05 Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a football game. I do not understand this event. The Patience of Job Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article. If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart) Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank.. |
home | site map | contact us |