Advantages to Doing Your Own Divorce


There are many advantages to doing your own divorce. Three significant ones are: you'll get a better divorce, you'll save a lot of money, and you'll be able to keep things simple.

Getting a good divorce

Studies show that active participation in your divorce is the single most important factor in getting a good divorce. "Good divorce" means such things as better compliance with agreements and orders after the divorce, less post-divorce conflict, less post-divorce litigation, more good will, and better co-parenting.

People who take an active role generally do much better emotionally and legally than those who try to avoid the work and responsibility for solving their divorce problems. This doesn't mean you shouldn't get help from an attorney--it means you should be actively involved, become informed about the rules and make your own decisions. Put yourself in charge of your case; run your own life.

Saving a Lot of Money

When a lawyer is in charge of your case, even simple, unopposed cases cost a lot, and if your case becomes stirred up through increased conflict, the cost goes even higher. Most lawyers collect a fairly stiff fee for doing even a simple uncontested divorce. They average anywhere from $500 to $5000 for doing a job that is quite simple and that is usually done by an underpaid secretary anyway.

Whether you pay the usual fee, or find a cut-rate deal, lawyers tend not to give you much time or information. Rarely, if ever, do you get to speak with the lawyer, and then only briefly. You almost always end up wondering what's going on, but there is no one to talk to about it. You can save this aggravation, and save at least $500 to $1500 by doing it yourself, and probably much more. In some states, a simple divorce can cost anywhere from $2000 to $5000 per party who has retained an attorney, and a contested case can cost hundreds of thousands on each side.

Keeping it simple

Most people start off with a case that is either fairly simple or one that could probably become simple if it is handled right. Such cases don't usually stay simple after an attorney is retained. Divorces tend to be fairly sensitive and it doesn't take much to stir them up, but lawyers have a way of making almost anything more complicated, more stirred up, worse instead of better. This is because of the way lawyers are trained and the way the system works.

When one spouse gets an attorney, the other spouse is likely to get one too, and then the fun really begins. Two attorneys start off costing just double, but pretty soon they are writing letters, filing motions, and doing standard attorney-type things, just like they were taught. Now we have a contested case, more fees and charges, and a couple of very upset spouses.

In the end, you will still have to negotiate your settlement with your spouse. Over 90% of all cases settle without trial, but when lawyers are retained, settlement usually comes after the spouses are emotionally depleted and their bank accounts are exhausted. Why go through all that? If you do it entirely by yourself, or with the help of a carefully selected attorney who has not taken over your entire case, there's a much better chance of keeping a simple case simple and of reaching a settlement much earlier.

Copyright 2005 Ed Sherman

Ed Sherman is a family law attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971 when he published the first edition of How to Do Your Own Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in 1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has saved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while making divorce go more smoothly and easily for millions of readers. You can order his books from http://www.nolodivorce.com or by calling (800) 464-5502.


More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Divorce Information:

Related Articles


Credit and Divorce
Mary and Bill recently divorced. Their divorce decree stated that Bill would pay the balances on their three joint credit card accounts.
The Job of a Divorce Attorney
Marriage is a very solemn and serious chapter on any person's life. However, due to personal reasons, a couple may decide to call everything off and file a divorce.
Hidden Divorce Costs
Divorce has become part of life in the 21st century. The stigma of being divorced that once existed no loger exists.
Effects of Divorce on Children
When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous sense of grief and relief are felt. A recently divorced person will feel grief over the loss of their marriage and the loss of their partner in life.
Post-Divorce Alimony in Texas
This article provides a brief overview on Texas law concerning post-divorce alimony in Texas. Laws differ from state to state and individual circumstances vary, so you should consult with a qualified family law attorney in your area for specific advice on your particular situation.
Why Men Wont Commit To Marriage
A common reason why men wont commit could be due to their past. Men wont commit if they have witnessed their parents in the past arguing or rowing.
Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know
There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child support resolved. Most parents know that when dealing with the bureaucracy tied to the child support system persistence, persistence, persistence is the key that opens the door.
How to Use a Divorce Lawyer
You want three things in your divorce attorney: expertise in divorce, reliability, and a good attitude. You want a lawyer who specializes in divorce (at least 50% of his/her case load), and unless you're expecting a no-holds-barred battle, you want a lawyer trained in divorce mediation who practices it professionally.
Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation
We have all most probably encountered it at some stage in our lives - who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates?The text book answer is to stay friends with both parties of course but that's a mighty tall order to fulfil as we are dealing with human emotions and judgemental attitudes here as well.Fortunately I think that most normal friends witnessing a couple of family splitting up can actually see both sides of the coin and actually do stay away from taking sides.
How To Protect Your Life Insurance Policy While Going Through A Divorce
Life insurance, more than most things you buy, relates to the circumstances of your life. You buy life insurance to protect your family from financial loss stemming from your death.
The Impact of Divorce on Families
As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many individuals, couples, and families who are affected by divorce. I see the devastating effects that breakups can have and am dedicated to helping people develop the skills to cope with experiences like divorce.
5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce
Life after divorce is something that most people who are going through divorce think about. Thinking about having a life after divorce or thinking about how your life will be after divorce, are common because people tend to fear for themselves.
Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent
For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time.Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the divorcee can be overwhelming.
Divorce--Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps
The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the degree of client control over the negotiation--everything works much better if you have it. This doesn't mean you should not get help and advice from an attorney if you want it; it means you are better off if you plan to do most or all of the negotiating yourself.
Surviving Divorce: What To Think About To Ensure Surviving Divorce
Surviving divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly.
Divorce -Is It Lawful?
The question of divorce and its lawfulness is of long standing. The law-makers of our day have tried to answer the question.
Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!
It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you.
Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it
The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder.
Tax & Financial Impacts of Divorce: 10 Mistakes to Avoid
Divorce is something no one hopes will happen to them when they get married. Unfortunately, almost half of all marriages end in divorce.
Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce
When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few things that you should consider. Too often people find themselves unable to clearly identify what they need to think about when making a divorce decision which leads to further indecision and frustration.