Choosing Your Divorce Method


The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is that they fail to plan. They simply decide to leave the relationship and then enter and ugly and expensive battle that ends up hurting everyone involved. There are some things that you could accidentally do that will make your divorce 100 time more miserable than it really has to be.

As with anything in life, you need to have a plan. The same is true for divorce. If you dont plan for what you want - chances are you won't get what you want. The first step towards having a plan is to know exactly what you want. After you know what you want you can plan to get it.

Here is an excercise: (Get our a piece of paper and a pencil. Write the answers down to the following.)

• Decide how much money you want (realistically) our of your divorce.

• Decide how often you would like to see the children (if you have any)

• Determine if the divorce will be uncontested or an all out battle.

• Determine "when" you want to be divorced.

• Write down all the possessions that you want (realistically).

• Write down any other 'details' that you want established in your divorce.

Take a few minutes and try to put everything you can on this list. You will always be able to add to it later.

Now that you have made your list, go back and reread the list. Cross off everything on the list that isn't worth fighting for, or doing hard work to get. You can save yourself a lot of hassle by knowing what not to ight for. If it really isn't worth it to you - then don't worry about it.

Important Note: The things that you crossed off the list as things you didn't want to fight for are things that you can 'pretend to be willing to fight for'! So when you negotiate you can mention that you have to have these things. Then you can "trade" them for more important things that you really want.

Now you have a list of everything that you want. Be sure to include intangible things like "peace of mind", and other concepts that aren't related to physical stuff. This is important because you will be using this list to get every thing you want out of your divorce.

Now you need to take your list and figure out a time line. If you want to get divorced in 3 months, you should probably already be contacting a lawyer. This brings up another point. Choosing the wrong lawyer can absolutely devestate the entire divorce process for you. There is a way to choose the perfect lawyer but you can ask me about that later.

It is also important that you DON'T tell your spouse that you want a divorce until you have followed the right steps to make sure all of your bases are covered. There may be some financial things that you want to take care of BEFORE you tell your spouse you want a divorce. If you just lose it and tell them you want a divorce, they won't let you change names on the mortgage, car, checking account, etc...

So you need to plan ahead. If you can plan ahead things will go smoother. Now if you are already in the middle of a divorce, there are still things you can plan for and other ways to get everything you want also. You need access to come easy to use tricks that can help you negotiate for everything you want. This article does not cover those tactics because there are too many to list here. A key factor in your negotiating skills is making your spouse believe that they are getting a better deal than you. There are ways to do this. If you can't get them to believe they are getting a better deal, then you need to employ stronger tactics to get what you want. You will be able to use the items that you crossed off of your list as leverage in your negotiations.

It is vitally important that you plan for divorce with the right divorce method. From the list you just made, you can make a detailed divorce method of your own to get exactly what you want from your divorce. You should also seek out special techniques that will accelerate the results of your plan. If there is a way that you can tap into the experience of thousands of people to get results, you should do so. I am not saying this to be mysterious. If you read every last word of this article you will know where to find those resources.

Now take action and work your plan!

Wishing You Happiness in Divorce,

Kyle Chambers

About The Author

Kyle Chambers is a specialist at getting the most financially and mentally out of your divorce. Hundreds of people have already benefitted by little-known tricks in getting more money, custody rights, and just about everything else you want from your divorce. To get the most out of your divorce go to http://www.DivorceMethod.com.


More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Divorce Information:

Related Articles


Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!
It can be difficult to get over a divorce and cope with a divorce when you are in pain. A ton of emotions and indecisiveness consumes you.
A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce
I thought I would never feel the light of life again when I realized that my marriage was going to end. In fact I went through a painful year of not knowing if it would end.
Divorce--Overcoming the Obstacles to Agreement: Ten Steps
You're going to want to be working on your divorce agreement outside the legal system, because the things you can do to help yourself outside the legal system are far more effective than anything a lawyer can do for you.But please don't just walk up to your spouse and start negotiating.
Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do
Is your spouse violent, abusive, harassing? In cases of harassment or violence there are legal remedies and there are practical things you can and must do for yourself. This is not about reaching agreement--these are strategies for self-defense.
Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation
We have all most probably encountered it at some stage in our lives - who do we stay friends with after a couple divorces or separates?The text book answer is to stay friends with both parties of course but that's a mighty tall order to fulfil as we are dealing with human emotions and judgemental attitudes here as well.Fortunately I think that most normal friends witnessing a couple of family splitting up can actually see both sides of the coin and actually do stay away from taking sides.
Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article
There are many types of divorce articles available on the Internet by a variety of authors. What's below will help you get the most out of the divorce articles here on this site and anywhere else.
Divorce Makes Us Stronger
My friends call me the "Divorce Poster Child".At the age of 20 I was married, and by 22 I had our first child.
Grieving the End of Your Marriage, as You Know it
The pain of finding out that your partner is cheating on you can be the worst pain you'll feel in your entire life. What is happening to you, you may wonder.
The Legal Side of Divorce
While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in the best of situations, it can also be a complicated legal matter that affects both parties equally. No matter how long your marriage has lasted or how few belongings you share together, it is also best to involve an attorney in your divorce proceedings.
What Are You Waiting For?
So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but for whatever reason, you and your spouse have decided to stay together "for the sake of the children".Isn't that what the children need? Don't they need the strength of a two parent household in this mad society that we live in? Don't they need the emotional assurance that Mom AND Dad are together? Don't they? Or do they?When my ex and I decided to divorce, we decided that he should probably live in the house with the children and I, for their sakes.
Five Christmas Survival Tips For The Divorced & Single Parent
For the over 50% of marriages that end in divorce, Christmas can be a hugely trying time.Since the season is one of the most stressful times of the year anyway, this onslaught of raw emotion to the divorcee can be overwhelming.
Alienation of Affection - Interference with marriage can cost big bucks in North Carolina
Non-lawyers are often surprised to learn that a spouse can sue for money damages in North Carolina based on allegations of emotional harm caused by a third party to the marital relationship. These lawsuits for "alienation of affection" and/or "criminal conversation" are usually brought by the innocent spouse against the guilty spouse's lover; but an alienation action may also be brought against someone like an in-law or other near relative who has advised a defecting spouse to leave the marital relationship.
Rebuilding Your Life from the Ashes
One peculiar feature of a stepfamily is that they are built on a negative foundation. A stepfamily couple comes to their new home with a full set of baggage, containing memories, wounds, and habits.
How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce.
Divorce and Children: Things To Consider When Youre Staying Married Only For Your Children
All children are different and respond differently to divorce. Depending on the characteristics of the children - age, emotional maturity, happiness, resiliency to trauma - the easier or more difficult it will be for children to weather a divorce.
Seven Sets of Documents You Need For Your Divorce
Even if you believe your case will ultimately be agreed to and settled without a trial, you will be in a much better position if you already have the relevant documents in your possession. Better safe than sorry.
Too Many Divorces
My oldest boy asked me something the other day about all the news regarding the high divorce rate. I told him there aren't too many divorces, there's too many marriages.
Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce
Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who think that their husband will be asking about getting a divorce at some point should put their emotions aside and plan "just in case" their intuition is correct that a divorce may be coming in the near future. If women who believe that the "divorce discussion" may be lurking, they should make it a point to look for solid signs that their husband will indeed ask for a divorce.
Divorce Advice: Getting Divorce Advice From the Right Source
Getting the right type of divorce advice depends on what type of divorce advice you want and what you want to use it for. When looking for divorce advice, it is smart to clearly define what you are seeking the advice for so you can be sure to look in the right places.
There Is Life After Divorce
A married woman becomes a single woman for one of two reasons: death or divorce. The former is an honourable state, the latter is not.