I Love You, I Hate You But Dont Go: Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder


It amazes me that 6-10 million Americans have been diagnosed with this isolating disorder. What's amazing about this is that not much is written about BPD much less talked about. Almost like there is a stigma attached to the very name.

The name Borderline Personality Disorder originated in 1938 by Adolph Stern. He was describing a group of patients that didn't quite fit an existing diagnosis; patients that were classified as past the neurotic stage but not quite psychotic. However these days this disorder is seen in a different way but the name BPD has stuck.

BPD is relatively common, affecting 10-14% of the general population. Women commonly suffer from depression more often than men and the frequency of BPD in women is two to three times greater than men. Nearly 20% of psychiatric hospitalizations stem from BPD.

While people that suffer with depression or bipolar disorder typically endure the same mood for several weeks at a time, a person with BPD can experience depression and anxiety that may last only an hour or at most, a day.

Symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder

• Impulsive aggression

• Self injury

• Strong feelings of anxiety

• Feelings of low self worth

• Drug or alcohol abuse

• Impulsive behaviors

• Feelings of being misunderstood

• Experience unstable relationships

Sometimes people suffering from BPD view themselves essentially as bad people or unworthy. This mood instability and poor self-image can bring on bouts of anger, eating disorders, panic attacks and anxiety. Very intense emotional turmoil appears to be a way of life for those afflicted by it.

However, often times a person with BPD can present as a bright, intelligent individual with a warm, friendly nature. They can maintain this appearance for a number of years until their defense mechanism breaks down, usually because of a very stressful situation like a relationship breakup or death of a loved one.

They may feel isolated and empty which may result in frantic efforts to avoid being alone. People with BPD often formulate highly unstable relationship patterns. While their relationships with family and friends can be very intense their attitude can change dramatically and suddenly from great admiration and love to profound anger and distaste. Often times they will form an immediate attachment to another person but when even a slight conflict or separation occurs they shift suddenly to the other extreme and accuse the other person of not really caring about them at all. They are highly sensitive to any sign (real or imagined) of rejection and react quickly with anger and distress when their expectations are not met.

Over the years treatments for BPD have improved with group and individual psychotherapy at least partially effective for a great number of patients. Talking about present challenges and past experiences with an empathetic and accepting therapist on a consistent and regular basis has proven effective. Patients are encouraged to talk about their feelings rather than expel them in their usual self-defeating manner.

Sometimes medications such as antidepressants or lithium carbonate are helpful in treatment of BPD and brief hospitalization may be necessary during acutely stressful episodes or if self-destructive behavior threatens to erupt.

The goals of ongoing therapy and/or treatments would be to increase an individual's tolerance of anxiety as well as increase self awareness and build more stability into relationships. With increased self awareness and introspection, it is hoped that individuals with BPD will be able to change rigid patterns of behavior set earlier in life which in turn will help prevent these patterns from repeating themselves in future generations.

Lois Galloway is a Professional Coach. As the founder of Discover Yourself Coaching, Lois acknowledges that each person is extraordinary in their own right and that having a personal coach will encourage and empower individuals to gain clairty and move forward to become their very best! To learn more about Discover Yourself Coaching, please follow the link to Lois's web site and remember to sign up for the monthly newsletters. http://www.discoveryourselfcoaching.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Depression Information:

Related Articles


How to Overcome Anxiety and Take Repossession of Your Life!
Katie came as close as is possible to having it all. Great job, loving family, boyfriend, social life? That was until she developed anxiety?"There were rumours of redundancy in our department.
FDA Approves Vagus Nerve Stimulation as a Treatment for Depression
On July 15th, 2005, the U.S.
5 Tips to Reduce Depression
While war and poor economic conditions begin to affect people all over the world, more and more people suffer with depression. The more we focus on news events and the business climate, the more we are depressed.
New Treatment for Chronic Depression
Vagus Nerve Stimulation for Chronic Treatment-Resistant Depression About Vagus Nerve Stimulation VNS is not brain surgery, although it is a treatment that affects the function of the brain. Vagus Nerve Stimulation uses specific stimulation of the vagus nerve to send stimulation to specific parts of the brain that are involved in mood.
Quick Steps To Reduce Your Worries
Looking for a way to reduce the amount of worrying you do?Edward W. Smith, motivational speaker, author and TV show host, who specializes in quick tips on how to move your life ahead even faster, offers the following advice.
Get Rid Of Depression Once And For All
Depression is something that will occur in many people'slives, for various reasons. But the "normal" occurrence ofa plunge in mood due to stressful events in your life,usually doesn't last very long, before a person's naturalresilience responds to the environment of friends andfamily.
American Indian Youth and Depression - Using Traditions To Heal The Wounds
When most people hear the words American Indian, visions of warriors on horses, feathers, or an 'Indian Princess' dance vividly in their heads. Instead, who they are is a culture of people who traditionally educate their children through oral traditions taught from generation to generation, day-to-day life, and sacred ceremonies that included song, dance and stories told to them by elders and spiritual leaders in the community.
Recognizing Depression's Warning Signs
Depression is a serious illness, not a harmless part of life. It is a complex disorder with a variety of causes.
It Aint Easy Being Brave
A zoo attendant entered a lion cage carrying only a broom. He casually swept with no concern for the wild animal.
Depression Treatment: Depression Would Be Second Largest Illness by 2010!
World Health Organisation states one out of four worldwide suffer from various forms of mental, behavioral, and neurological disorders. Are you one of them?It has also been estimated that depression would be the second largest illness by 2010 keeping in mind its pace by which it is affecting people world over.
Can You Overcome Depression?
There are many things that happen within the body when depression occurs. It is not only a feeling, but a disease that is often caused by an imbalance of chemicals within the brain.
Seven Ways To Deal With Your Depression
It has just been announced, after a study by a team from King's College Hospital, that depression is now the biggest reason for people claiming long-term sickness benefit in the UK, having taken over from musculoskeletal problems such as back problems. The research shows that 176 million working days were lost because of depression in 2003.
I'm Not Depressed; I've Just Been Having A Lousy Conversation With Myself
Not long ago, I attended a mastermind group. During the meeting, one of the women went into a litany about how terrible things had been in the past few weeks and how depressed she felt as a result.
Wellbutrin For Depression: When Its More Than Just The Blues
We all have blue days:We're missing someone we've lost, the expected promotion didn't come through, we've exhausted ourselves over the holidays. But when these feelings continue for a long time and begin to interfere in your life, you may have an illness that doctors call major depressive disorder (or depression).
5 Ways to Transform Your Struggles Into Victories
Have you read the famous quote, "Every struggle is a victory"? It was stated by an extraordinary person who overcome great challneges and achieved greatness - her name was Helen Keller.In this brief article we will explore 5 key aspectsfor turning your Struggles into Victories.
Depression: Escape Your Mental Prison
There is an illness all around me in modern society that seems to be spreading like the Black Plague once did in Europe so long ago. It's called depression, have you heard of it? Has it affected you? The more I look, the more I see it in so many people in my life, including myself.
A Look at the Different Depression and Anxiety Medications
While it may be easy to recite the various brand names and generalize their benefits enough to know they put us (or are supposed to put us) in a better mood, for lack of a better term, the drugs themselves can all be categorized individually, each working in a slightly different way.The following is a list and very brief description, by category, of depression and anxiety medications currently prescribed by physicians.
The Cost of Giving Up
I'm sure at times of deep crisis many of you have considered thoughts of "giving up". What is the cost to you of entertaining such thoughts? Well as one client with a progressively deteriorating illness I was working with stated "it's like having one foot out the back door".
Depression After A Heart Attack
There are several factors can lead to depression after heart attack. The stress of being in the hospital, the fear of another heart attack, time away from work can all contribute to feeling depressed, helpless, down and despondent.
How To Help A Stressed Or Depressed Loved One
Having lived with a depressed partner for 3 years andsuffered anxiety and depression for 5 years, I'veexperienced both sides. In this article, I'll show youexactly what you can do - and, what you shouldn't do - tohelp your loved one.