Dating Information

The Importance of Focus

People are always looking for ways to win over somebody they areinterested in. Often times when you lose the opportunity, it hasnothing to do with your ability to close. The only secrets toclosing more is by focusing more on your target more, believing in yourself, and having the proper attitudes and body language. Youare either 100% congruent or you aren't.

Focusing on a person you wish to pick up goes far beyond the words coming out of your mouth. Your focus directly affects your body language, your tone, and your messages. These are three of the key factors that people use to determine if they like you and if you can enrich their life.

Focusing on who you are interested in picking up means that you areactively listening and that you personally care about them. Thesethings can not be faked. You must truly want to listen and you musttruly care about helping them. That is the only secret to reallywinning somebody over.

Body language will show that you are focused on your who you areinterested in. Your target will detect your body language even ifthey are not aware of it consciously. We teach the proper body langauge in our workshops. When you are engaged in a conversation with who you are picking up and you remain focused, it can be nothing but positive body language.

The same is true for your tone of voice. If you are listening withthe intent to understand, instead of listening with the intent torespond, then that amount of personal attention will reflect in thetone of your voice. The tone of your voice, like your bodylanguage, plays a role in how well someone receives your message.

The content of your message will naturally be in-line with what theperson you are picking up would like to hear if you focus on themandnothing else. When you are in-sync with this person you are pickingup,

then your target will guide the conversation all the way to thecommitmentto close the deal.

Here are eight ways to ensure you are focusing on your customer:

1. Relax.

2. Find out something personal about who you are interested indating.

3. Call them by their first name a few times.

4. Find out some reasons WHY they are interested in you and referback to those reasons often.

5. Listen to understand the meaning of what it is they are saying.Pay special attention to their body language.

6. If you catch yourself formulating a response before they finishtalking, this means that you are not listening.

7. Look your target in the eye.

8. Get your mind right. Why do YOU want to win over this person? Ifthe answer is just to make the sale, then start here.

You need to care about this person you want personally and careabout being with them before you can ask them to be with you. A lot ofpeopleare well intentioned but lose focus of their target somewhereduring their conversation. It is this ability to maintain yourfocus that will not only differentiate you from your competition;it will win you more dates.

by Robert Torrey

Robert Torrey is one of the instructors for Fidentia a company that teaches Dating confidence. Subscribe to their free newsletter available on their website. http://www.fidentia.org